My own image, edited on Photolab
Think of fire and ice, white and black, strong and weak, peace and violence… I am all of that. I burn and I quench, I bring peace and can stir trouble when necessary. I am something and the opposite of the same thing. You can say I'm a double edged sword.
I'm the only girl child of my parents and the last born of two, a really dangerous combination I must say.
Normally it is believed that the last child of the family is most cared for. Last born are really pampered, they usually don't lack and they get literally everything they want by just whining and faking tears. I'm supposed to enjoy these privileges as the last born but sadly, that isn't the case for me.
I'm the first daughter too remember?And everyone knows the kind of responsibility a typical Nigerian first daughter shoulders. After my mum, I'm the next mother of the house. I remember every time my mother travelled when I was little, she would always ask me to take care of my brother. I used to be confused because I was the youngest, the last born and by right the one that needed to be taken care of.
It's because of these contradicting positions I handle that makes my personality somewhat confusing for a lot of people. I am strong yet very emotional, bold yet very shy, childish yet my maturity will amaze you. I'm black and white in summary. One moment I'm begging someone to help me with something like I can't do without the help, next I'm upset I'm doing everything on my own and you'll be like wow! One moment I act like I can't survive without someone's company. Upset me and see me living my best life without you.😂
Since I didn't get the pampering kind of upbringing, I grew to be strong on my own. I have no elder sister like other girls so I had no one advising me while growing up, I had no one to share my secrets with, I had no one to discuss my boy dramas with too, I had no one to steal clothes and bags from. For this reason, I drew all my strength from within. I became my own backbone. Every time I fell I had to encourage myself and pick myself up after crying. This taught me independence. I had no playmates except in school, no child in the neighbourhood was in my age bracket so I was all I had.
The experience helped me become a successful independent lady with a very strong mind. I have been playing the role of a mother for a really long time and this taught me to cook, clean and just take care of myself from an early age. Leadership is something I don't really know how to run from, I feel like it's always going to find me. Everywhere I find myself, I'm always entrusted with something and by the divine grace bestowed in me, I never disappoint.
The only aspect I'll say the experience brought me some negativities is my social life.
I remember whenever I wanted to tell my brother personal issues he wouldn't wish to listen and if he managed to listen, rather than advice me he'll say I'm stupid. This made me reserved. I felt I was always going to get the same reaction from people and so I resolved to write down my thoughts. I kept diaries from age 10.
To this day, I have a problem with being around people. I'm always on guard and I am careful not to let people into my innermost space. I still have that fear of being judged and misunderstood.
This really isn't a healthy way to live I know and as I've grown I'm supposed to unlearn bad habits, relearn and allow myself to live the healthy way, trust me I'm trying. I hope to do much better as the day goes by.
I invite @zellypearl and @evegrace to join the contest.
I'm didiee! a deep well of motivation, you thirsty? please draw from me😌
My goal on the Hive Blockchain is clear: expressing passion and dispensing knowledge through writing.
Los mejores deseos! - Best wishes!🥰
I think it's a common misconception that last borns are spoiled and often get what they want :) It can be for some but not to all, just like your case :) It is however great that it developed you into a very independent and responsible person.
Yes, it's a common misconception but often times very true.😁 Thank you for you for stopping by.
Indeed :) You are very welcome. Have a pleasant day:)
You are a double-edged sword indeed. By default first daughter wears a lot of responsibility and the same goes for the first son or let's just say a first child in general.
You are strong and you can do greater things than you could ever imagine.
Keep up the strength dear!
And thanks for the invite
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In a way i relate to you cause I'm the only child. I don't do well with people either. So much, it affects my social life. I also paint two different pictures and so why i totally get all this 😂
It's really amazing how much we can carry and still whine that we are bearing too much...
😂 Glad you can relate. Thank you for stopping by.
I admire your strength for going through such a journey. Double Edged Sword is a description that fits you well. And although you matured early on in life by being the second mom, it has taught you so much more. However since you are already aware about your weakness in regards with socializing which is not a bad thing but yes, starting to unlearn habits and starting to let go of the wall will help you with dealing people. I hope the best for you and keep it up!
Thank you so much 💝
Hi @didiee
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Thank for entering the contest!
Thank you too.
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Thank you so much! 💝
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