Escaping the Darkness - Ladies-of-hive-community-contest-100

in Ladies of Hive2 years ago (edited)

You feel like you're being swallowed by quicksand, and there simply is no escape, even though your loved ones reach out to help!

You wake up feeling hopeful, but very soon start falling into that deep dark hole where no one can touch you!

I still don't know how I got through those years, but I did.

No pity party here, I'm just telling my story...again...in the hope that this gives someone hope.

Society still talks of mental health problems in hushed tones as if it is something to be ashamed of; which REALLY irks me!

I mean, do people whisper when someone has diabetes, for example, and has to take insulin to stay alive?
Yet 'well-meaning' people will tell someone going through depression that it's time they shake it off or snap out of it!!!
Can you shake off diabetes and pretend you don't have it and not take your insulin?


I will talk specifically about depression as that is what I had for many many moons following the suicide of my brother; the shock was just too much, and the guilt that follows when someone close to you takes his/her own life often is too much to bear.

It took me many years to realize there was no way I could have stopped that desperate act and it still angers me when people condemn the suicide victim!

Depression can be terminal if left untreated, but it can be overcome!

I was totally unprepared for this cruel illness, as I lived in a happy space up till then, and totally did not recognize this 'new me' - anxious and gloomy, and feeling as if I was carrying a heavy weight in my head!

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Photo by Sage Friedman on Unsplash

Lifebuoys

Note; this is not medical advice, it simply is what helped me regain my sanity.

  • Medication and Meditation

Some people may need to use medication for the rest of their lives if a chemical imbalance causes the problem, but the correct medication needs to be prescribed by a psychiatrist.

Meditation on the other hand is a free gift you can give yourself, and that was the ultimate cure in my case.

I was still medicating, but only on a maintenance dose when another huge shock hit in 2011; my darling uncle's life was cruelly taken.
Strangely that shock was to become the turning point as my best buddy from school days called and asked me to join her in Transcendental Meditation classes.

I cannot emphasize the benefits of meditation enough; it relieves depression and anxiety, which in turn stops those painful muscle spasms in the neck and shoulders; it lowers blood pressure, and has a host of other benefits as well.
There are many self-guided Youtube videos that are helpful especially in the beginning but find whichever method appeals to you.

Our very own @ericvancewalton wrote a wonderful book The Perfect Pause - Meditating Your Way to the Ultimate You that has helped me tremendously.

Which other lifebuoys did I use?

  • Counseling - When I started meditating I chose to see an amazing holistic healer who helped wean me off the anti-depressants with the help of natural medicine and counseling, something I foolishly avoided.

  • Exercise - walking, jogging, yoga & breathing exercises, gym, cycling...any form of exercise as this gets the feel-good endorphins going.

  • Talk about your feelings to people who understand, but avoid the know-it-alls who tell you to 'shake-it-off!

  • A well-balanced diet is vital as you need a healthy body to fight any mental illness!

  • Lifestyle - do not neglect leisure times, listen to music which is excellent therapy, and find a space in your home or garden and turn it into your own little sanctuary.

NOTE: some conditions however require lifelong medication as the chemical balance needs to be maintained, but these tools can be of great help!

There are no answers to why some people are prone to mental health illnesses, just as there is no answer to the causes of many physical illnesses.

Always remember that you need not go it alone.

There is help, people who understand, so never give up the fight and you will find your way to a beautiful free mind once again!

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I hope my story will inspire someone going through any mental health issue in my response to the Ladies-of-hive-community-contest-100 and for this week they are asking:

💜

1️⃣ Do you know how to be an effective advocate for your beloved one or friend when they're dealing with a mental health issue? Do you know how to respond, whom to contact for help? Have you ever been faced such a challenge?

Or

2️⃣ Romance scams are on the rise, and anyone can be a target. Scammers create fake profiles on dating sites and apps, or contact their targets through popular social media sites like Instagram and Facebook. They strike up a relationship with their victims and build trust, sometimes over months or even years. They eventually ask for money, often pretending to need it for medical bills, travel costs, or unexpected emergencies.
What will you do to avoid being a victim of dating scams online?


I chose to answer question 1 because...in my day there were no dating sites; the word online was not even thought of! We would have said she is on the line, in other words 'talking on the telephone';)


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Thank you for writing this. I feel you, because I am one of those who need chemical help to have the will to live. I feel very lonely and misunderstood. But I fight as much as I can.

A big hug, dear Lizzie. ❤️

Dear @palomap3, I am so sorry to hear this, but understand as I know a couple of people who have to use their medication so please continue. I know some people have to change their meds till they find the right one, so don't be afraid if you have to do that.
It's a very lonely illness as you say, you could be in a room full of people but still feel isolated.
I pray that you start to feel better, I actually forgot to add in my blog that blogging is something else that's helped me tremendously so keep on writing as it helps one focus.
Take care and keep on looking for that light at the end of the tunnel.
Big hugs to you @palomap3 💞

I have more than twenty years of experience with it, but every bad season hurts just the same. When those episodes come (I'm going through one now), I know it will happen just like the others did.

Oh yes, I completely agree about the power of writing. It helps to get the negative out, expressing ourselves freely. It also focuses our attention outside ourselves, preventing us from being so isolated from the world.

We'll keep working hard, writing and finding the will to live. I hope you are well too. A strong and loving hug. ❤️🤗

Congrats on being one of the winners, I hope to have time to read everyone's entries today.
I'm glad that you've also found the power and value of writing.
Have a wonderful week @palomap3 💖🤗

"Dark tunnel seeking light", our mind is not something anyone fully understands, dealing with depression in oneself or members in family, takes concerted effort by all to try understand.

Topic needs discussion I fear many suffering quietly, path via meditation with exercise sounds better option. Psychiatrist may take some time finding the cause or trying medication which have negative effect, something experienced within the family.

!LUV

You're so right Joan, our mind is very complex, so while one treatment helps some, it does nothing for others. When you talk of the medication, it often can ve detrimental and not help the condition, so it's vital in those instances that the person talks to their doctor.
I feel so blessed to have been able to get better the natural way in the end.
Thank you for your valued input.

Always try to navigate to natural, chemicals always have side effects although some do find the right one to stabilize them which no one can doubt either.

!LUV

You are so courageous to share your personal story Lizelle! There's not a thing about it to be ashamed about. We need a million more like you because if more people had that kind of courage this world would be a much better place.

My Father suffered from crippling depression due to unresolved trauma from his past. It was so sad to think about all the things he missed out on because of it. It was even less accepted a generation ago to talk about mental illness. He kept a lot locked up inside and could function "normally" for a while but then everything would come to a head and he'd be in bed for days.

That is so sad Eric!
Reading about the experimental treatments in the past is just so awful, it must have been terrifying for those poor people and must have driven many over the edge.
I'm so sorry your Dad had to suffer from depression, it was more difficult then and even today, for a man to talk about suffering from depression, as they see it as weakness. It's quite the opposite, as it takes courage to still try & live a normal life. It must have been difficult for your Mom as well.
More people need to talk about this if they've been through it, and share what helped them!
Thank you for your kind words and encouragement Eric!

It had to have been horrible for him to exist that way and it was tough on the entire family. Later in life antidepressants helped him function but didn't address the root causes. I very much agree, we should bring it all into the light. The more people who talk about it the more normalized it will become. I believe we're getting there as a society, slowly but surely.

Hi Lizelle

I have many people close to me that suffer from mental health illnesses and I too have had issues of my own in the past. The part that annoys me the most is that some people simply deny it even exists because they don't understand it (and sometimes they suffer from one but are in such denial that they stigmatize it further).

I am so sorry to read about your loss of brother and uncle, I can understand how grieving can bring on depression very easily and it is so difficult to deal with the loss to a suicide. There needs to be more awareness in the world and the "cheer up" brigade need to have more understanding and compassion.

It can be treated and each person is different, half of the challenge is to identify what works for you and then practice it daily. I'm a huge advocate for meditation and exercise, it makes a huge difference.

Sending you strength and hugs, I'm glad you survived the darkness and speak about it.

...the "cheer up" brigade need to have more understanding and compassion.

How very true, they and those who condemn simply do not understand, their mindset is still trapped in times of yester-year!

Absolutely true that what helps one person, may not necessarily help another, but I do believe natural treatments can give more lasting results, than pumping oneself full of medications, which have bad side-effects.
Higs to you as well and I'm so glad that you found the answer and solutions that worked for you!

I know your story of depression - it makes me feel sad reading it again as I know how dark that would have been. So glad you are out the other side. xx

Thank you @riverflows, I just hope it helps someone, as many people are going through mental health issues following Covid and the lockdowns!

Blogging is something else that's helped me a lot as one has to focus and so it steers the mind to a better place. With depression somehow one can only see inwards, and it's not a pretty picture when you feel like that, it's just awful.

I'm immensely thankful to have come into the light again.💞

I hope it helps others too ... the more we have these conversations the better.

These are very helpful advices since it is from a point of view of some who struggled with it and got through it successfully. I'll bookmark this. Deppression especially has taken lives of people I know and I can't fully understand why they did it and how to help people on the edge. Thank you so much for sharing.

Thank you @bluepark, and I'm sorry to hear you've also lost people to suicide. There really is not much one can do except to just be for them.

I had no idea that you had been through this @lizelle, it is not the same to give an opinion from the outside, to that of the people who have suffered it.

Thank you for sharing your story, it is valuable for those who are going through a similar situation.

Thank you @mjvdc, I could never understand why people got depressed until it hit me. We can only try to help if we see others going through mental health issues.

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I still remember your story, it touched my heart, and I could feel the hard times you were going through. It's been a long battle, and not easy at all but I'm glad you're finally on the other side. You've fought hard to get where you are and now you live your life to the fullest and find blogging enjoyable. I'm sure your sharing will inspire others to keep going, even when things seem tough. ❤️

Thanks so much for this wonderful writing @lizelle !LADY

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Thank you for your wonderfully kind words @trangbaby, I do hope it gives someone going through mental health problems hope!
Thank you as well for the challenging questions this week, & the prize! I could not share any online dating story as we had nothing like that when I was young😅
Have a great week further xxx

Oh, the story of your brother's suicide is gut-wrenching.
I am so sorry.
No, you could not shake it off or snap out of it!!
Your advice is very good, @lizelle .
!LADY 😍🌺🤙

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It was an awful period, something that stays with one forever, but when I see his 2 beautiful daughters & their children, it's like having a link with him still, they feel the same.
Thank you for the awesome weekly topics, really makes one think & helps with writer's block💞

I can only imagine, @lizelle !!!
Yes, we provide at least two questions a week!
So please join us...
And have tokens every time you write an article.
You have 24.4LOH tokens already... wow!!! At 25, you can call on the !LADY command!
!LADY 😍🌺🤙

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I saw the tokens @silversaver888, I try to answer when I can, especially if the question is one I can relate to. I look forward to calling that command 😀
Thank you so very much 💞

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