Photo of my property, taken with the camera of my Xiaomi Redi Note 8 cell phone. Margarita Island, Venezuela.
"Holding anger and resentment is the same
as taking poison and waiting for the other person to die."
(Malachy McCourt)
Before relating my experience with anger management, I want to thank you for this new opportunity to share with the beautiful ladies of Hive, after almost a month of absence. Those were days in which I was doing a thousand activities, such as repairing the leaks in my house, repairing my laptop and my son's PC, which were damaged almost at the same time, and taking my son to a vacation camp every day. All of this took up my whole day.
The days were exhausting, but the end result was worth it because when these heavy rains started, for the first time in a long time, I can say that I enjoyed the sound of them falling from the sky.
On the other hand, I want to extend the invitation to participate in this new challenge to my friends @belkisa758, @slwzl, and @zhanavic69. You have until the 20th of this month to participate and tell us about your experiences with anger management. Here is the link, so you can find out more.
What makes me angry and how can I manage my anger?
Since I read this question a couple of days ago, I have had different thoughts about it. The first thing I thought of was the Alice of the present. I am a person who does not get angry easily and I tend to let things go. Arguing generates an energy drain and tends to darken the soul. And even more so when the arguments are over nonsense, ego fights or opposing points of view where each one feels the imperious need to "win" the argument.
The Alicia of several years ago (before becoming a mother), was a little phosphorite that at the slightest provocation got angry and said many things, product of anger, and then ended up crying. An absurd melodrama.
The Alicia of a couple of years ago, I was the "victim of others" because I thought that everything was against me and that nobody wanted to help me. That I helped others and that was not reciprocated. That hurt me deeply, but I kept helping whoever needed it. I endured quietly and with tears in my eyes, the storms of insults that my sister, who seemed to rejoice in her cruelty, could throw at me. For her, perfection was in her children and in herself. Whatever I did, it was simply wrong.
Finally I return to the Alicia of the present. The one who decided to walk away from everything negative, grateful for the learning she had acquired, but shrugging her shoulders and turning her back on destructive criticism. I don't hold grudges at all; it's just that I am no longer affected by this type of situations or people that don't add anything positive to my life.
I have learned to give thanks every day for all the moments I have lived, for having a roof over my head and food to eat, for seeing how big and healthy my son is, for how intelligent he is. What's more, what's left over, the harmful people I have kept away from me, no matter how much love I may have for them. The affection will remain, but sometimes you have to put some distance and go on with your life.
The funny thing is that when you disappear from the map, they start looking for you and inviting you here and there, but I have learned to avoid them. That I didn't hear the call, that I was watching a movie and had my cell phone on silent or whatever.
My favorite snack
If there is one thing that fascinates me, it is the little fingers of mozzarella spread with tomato sauce (it is not Ketchup), it is made with peeled tomatoes boiled and then cut into small pieces. What I make with this is a sauce identical to the Neapolitan sauce, only a little thicker and I add a little bit of pepper.
As for the little fingers of mozzarella, they are strips of cheese dipped in flour, egg and breadcrumbs. It is necessary to repeat twice this process of passing it through the flour, the egg and the bread so that it seals well and does not come off when frying. It is good to add salt and pepper to the wheat flour. Fry it and you get this delicious snack ideal for a Friday night.
Another snack that fascinates me is mullet roe. These are a delicacy that is usually accompanied with a cold beer. The flavor of the mullet roe is salty, a little strong. Its cost is not cheap and it is only available in bodegones. That is why it is not one of my usual snacks. My brother, who is a regular consumer, told me that if you use a grater and put it in the pasta, its flavor will be similar to pecorino cheese. It really is something worth tasting.
This has been my participation to the challenge #95 of the Ladies Of Hive Community.
The text is completely of my authorship.
The photographs are my own, taken in different moments of my life, in the paradisiacal beaches of my beloved Margarita Island. The photo of my son, is current, taken in the last vacation camp he attended in Caracas, Venezuela.
Español
"Aguantar la ira y el resentimiento es lo mismo
que tomar veneno y esperar a que la otra persona muera".
(Malachy McCourt)
Antes de relatar mi experiencia en cuanto al manejo de la ira, quiero agradecer esta nueva oportunidad de compartir con las bellas damas de Hive, después de casi un mes de ausencia. Fueron días en los que estuve haciendo mil actividades, como reparar las filtraciones de mi casa, reparando mi laptop y la PC de mi hijo, que se nos dañaron casi al mismo tiempo y llevar a diario a mi hijo a un campamento vacacional. Todo esto me quitaba todo el día.
Los días fueron extenuantes, pero el resultado final valió la pena porque cuando iniciaron estas lluvias fuertes, por primera vez en mucho tiempo, puedo decir que disfruté de su sonido al caer desde el cielo.
Por otro lado, quiero extender la invitación a participar en este nuevo reto a mis amigas @belkisa758, @slwzl, y @zhanavic69. Tienen hasta el día 20 del mes en curso para participar y contarnos sus experiencias en cuanto al manejo de la ira. Acá les dejo el link, para que se enteren mejor.
¿Qué es lo que me hace enfadar y cómo puedo manejar mi ira?
Desde que leí esta pregunta hace un par de días, he tenido distintos pensamientos al respecto. Lo primero que pensé fue en la Alicia del presente. Soy una persona que no me enojo con facilidad y suelo dejar pasar las cosas. Discutir genera un desgaste energético y tiene a oscurecer el alma. Y más cuando las discusiones son por tonterías, por luchas de ego o puntos de vista opuestos en donde cada uno siente la imperiosa necesidad de "ganar" la discusión.
La Alicia de hace varios años (antes de ser mamá), era un fosforito que a la menor provocación se enojaba y decía muchas cosas, producto de a ira, para luego terminar llorando. Todo un melodrama absurdo.
La Alicia de hace un par de años, era la "víctima de los demás" porque pensaba que todo era en mi contra y que nadie quería ayudarme. Que yo ayudaba a los demás y eso no era recíproco. Eso me dolía profundamente, pero seguía ayudando a quien lo necesitara. Aguantaba callada y con lágrimas en los ojos, las tormentas de insultos que pudiese lanzarme mi hermana quien parecía regocijarse en su crueldad. Para ella, la perfección estaba en sus hijos y en ella misma. Yo simplemente hiciese lo que hiciese, estaba mal hecho.
Finalmente vuelvo a la Alicia del presente. La que decidió alejarse de todo lo negativo, agradeciendo el aprendizaje adquirido, pero alzando los hombros y dando la espalda a las críticas destructivas. No guardo rencor en absoluto; simplemente que ya dejó de afectarme este tipo de situaciones o personas que no suman nada positivo a mi vida.
He aprendido a dar gracias cada día por todos los momentos vividos, por tener un techo y comida, por ver lo grande y saludable que está mi hijo, por lo inteligente que es. Lo de más, lo que resta, las personas nocivas las he alejado de mí, por mucho cariño que pueda tenerles. El cariño va a seguir estando, pero a veces hay que poner distancia y seguir con nuestra vida.
Lo gracioso es que cuando desapareces del mapa, te empiezan a buscar y a invitar para acá y para allá, pero he aprendido a esquivarlas. Que no escuché la llamada, que estaba viendo una peli y tenía el celular en silencio o cualquier otra cosa.
Mi merienda favorita
Si hay algo que me fascina son los deditos de mozzarella untados con salsa de tomate (no es Ketchup), es hecha con tomates pelados puestos a hervir, luego cortado en trocitos. Lo que hago con esto, es una salsa idéntica a la napolitana, solo que un poco más espesa y que yo le agrego un poquito de pimienta.
En cuanto a los deditos de mozzarella, son tiras de queso pasadas por harina de trigo, huevo y pan rallado. Se debe repetir dos veces esto de pasarlo por la harina, el huevo y el pan para que selle bien y no se desprenda al momento de freír. La harina de trigo es bueno echarle sal y pimienta. Se fríen y se obtiene este delicioso snack ideal para un viernes en la noche.
Otro snack que me fascina, son las huevas de lisa. Estas son un exquisitez que suele acompañarse con una cerveza bien fría. El sabor de las huevas de lisa, es salado, un poco fuerte. Su costo no es económico y se consigue solo en bodegones. Por eso, no es uno de mis pasabocas usual. Un dato que me dio mi hermano, quien sí es su consumidor regular, me dijo que si se usa un rallador y se coloca en la pasta, su sabor será similar al queso pecorino. Realmente es algo digno de degustar.
Esta ha sido mi participación al reto #95 de la Comunidad Ladies Of Hive.
El texto es completamente de mi autoría.
Las fotografías son de mi propiedad tomadas en distintos momentos de mi vida, en las paradisíacas playas de mi amada Isla de Margarita. La foto de mi hijo, es actual, tomada en el último campamento vacacional al que asistió en Caracas, Venezuela.
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Ser un fosforito en el pasado, hay que ver como aprendemos y cambiamos con el tiempo y más cuando somos mamás. Una semana de éxitos @purrix
Así es. Comenzamos a cambiar desde el momento en que nos convertimos en mamás y lo mejor es que entendemos a nuestras madres. Un abrazo para ti, amiguita 🌼
Most excellent @purrix, and it's extremely difficult to get oneself to leave familiarity behind, along with loved ones. But as you found out, it can mean so much for your sanity, and allow you to develop a serene sense of fulfilment.
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Absolutely. And yes, it took me years of tears of sadness and the hope that someday he would realize his mistake. He realized it on my birthday and wrote me something very nice, but that feeling only lasted a couple of weeks.
Hello Alice, thank you for sharing what has been Alicia of years ago and how she is today :) It is so nice to read that you have found your peace by becoming more positive and grateful of life and moving away from and shrugging off the negative chatters around you :)
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Thanks to you for taking the time to read me ;)
My mom used to say that what we can't change, we should let it continue on its way and step aside.
I have a lot to be thankful for because even from negative experiences we learn and sometimes we have to hit the bottom, because it is always the most apt ground to jump. ✨🌞✨
Your Mom is very smart and thank you for sharing what she said. She's absolutely right. Accepting and stepping aside is the best way to deal with things that we can't control or change.
And I totally agree with you, we learn most from those painful experiences and they propel us to do better.
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Wonderful blog @purrix, that phrase you've quoted is so very true, an important lesson to share with our loved ones! There are so many people walking around with hurt feelings and repressed anger which only harms themselves.
I think we're all drama queens at some stage in our youth not so 😉
Congratulations on winning the LOH contest 👌