I'd say acting is fair game from time to time. When some bloated type comes around, I don't have a problem faking a different style of behavior towards them - to a certain point. It's not genuine, though, and that's my "vengeance" so to speak. I rather have those conversations that you had with the women, honest interest, honest laughs. I work in service mostly, so I adapt superficially, but I don't connect on a deeper level like I would with someone that doesn't demand a special treatment for reasons of pride.
For sure, but there is a time and place. Some people think that "fake it til you make it" is a way to live life. But all they are doing is fooling themselves, trying to do things that are not "them".
Acting in any kind of service is often a performance. You don't have time nor heart space for genuine interactions and self preservation is necessary (I was a teacher and did hospitality til I was 30 too). Doesn't stop the genuineness breaking through in chosen moments though..
One of the things that make my kind of service special, and what is hence a base for my success, is that I try to be genuine with most. People feel that. We enjoy it, both sides. It has become something quite rare I think.