So today's topic is compression, today's averages, and others. We often make the mistake of comparing ourselves to others, thinking that the other person is doing very well, or even extremely well, or less so, and we start looking at their status and achievements. But we don't look at ourselves. We don't see that they worked hard, but we didn't, and we always wonder why they're winning. Why does he have everything? Why don't we work hard and try all these other solutions? That's why it's so common these days that we look at each other and are jealous of them and compare ourselves to others, which is absolutely wrong. We shouldn't compare ourselves to anyone. Everyone is in their own place; he can't do my work, and I can't do his. It's a simple matter.
A major problem with comparison is that even if you celebrate a moment or a moment where you say, "My day was great, I worked so hard today. I earned such a good income today," we start thinking, "My friend, the other person has more of a moment, and if they hadn't enjoyed it, it would have been ruined." Or we think, "Our small achievement isn't very good. We're not happy about it." But even if we do a good deed today and don't complement it with others, we'll be doing something very wrong. If we keep complimenting others and thinking only about others, we'll run into a serious problem. Here, we won't celebrate ourselves one-on-one. Even then, we'll think that others' achievements are greater. We have more work to do than we do.
If you think these problems only affect working people or adults, you're wrong. They're mostly found in businesspeople, students, and teenagers because their brains are in a very developing stage, so they haven't developed that much. That's why people think the other person has a nice pencil and a nice bag. Why don't I have one? They fight at home, saying he wants it. And this thing that happens by imitation—if the other person has it, then why don't I have it? This thing is most prevalent, and we say that if he has it, then why don't I have it? If he has it, then we can support him. We cannot do it because not everyone has everything. Many people do not have much. But even then you should survive. We forget this thing.
The worst part is this. We lose ourselves while doing all this. We forget what we are and at whose table we are. Everyone's reality is different. Everyone is in a different race. Everyone has to go to a different place. Someone's starting point is different. Someone's timing is different. Someone's privilege is different. Everyone has their own lifestyle. Everyone lacks one thing or another, and someone has money, but there is no peace in his house. I have peace, but he does not have money. If we keep seeing that their house has more of this and ours has more of that, we won't be happy either. Look at what we have. Always compare yourself to yourself; never complain about yourself to anyone else. That would be a very wrong thing.
In all these things, it is not only the children who are at fault for making these comparisons. The elders also teach all this. They say that if his result is better, then what is the use of this? Why is it of any use to you? So if from the beginning you see that the other person's children are good and our children are bad, then the child will learn the same song. If you do this thing today, your result is bad, but you can do it better next time. If you will not make fun of anyone, if you will not taunt anyone, then that child will understand that in my mind you are happy with me, and you will show this thing that you Then, as they grow up, they'll follow others' example, but this is wrong. If you teach them from the beginning to be content with what they have, if they can achieve more, then do so, but don't try to emulate anyone else.
Always be competitive in life, but why compare? What happens in competition is that you don't compare yourselves to each other. You're pitted against each other. You see that the other person shouldn't be superior to you. It's the same with me. You'll find competition in that. There's a big difference between comparison and competition. But it's a very wrong thing. Competition is a very good thing. Always be competitive with each other. If the person in front of you has done a good job, you say, "I can do it too." Competition will benefit you, but comparison won't benefit you. You'll feel like a jailer. Don't have a question within yourself: "Can't I do this?" Or "I can't stand this." These kinds of doubts may arise, but competition is a very good thing that will take you forward.
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I learn this lesson after many years when I was a child I was a victim of high comparison from my grandmother and as an adult I use to compare myself with others a lot and I always exit and feel like a biggest loser. After years of therapy I'm trying to not compare myself with others anymore or not in a negative way.