The last time I played Divinity: Original Sin 2 was in co-op mode with my partner where I very quickly discovered that whilst co-op in the game is fun, the story only pays attention to the host and the one who talks to all the characters.
As such, I have nearly 88 hours of play time and not a single achievement and, to be honest, I don't really know what the hell even happened in the game or story because I wasn't the one talking to people. Whilst I didn't really enjoy the first Divinity: Original Sin because it felt like forced co-op even in single-player, at least I knew what was going on.
So, here I am, starting a new game of Divinity: Original Sin 2. A single-player game this time while my partner grinds away the last tier in Satisfactory 😆. And may you enjoy my story with me as I plod along in this magical new world. 🧙🔮
Meet Caelyra. Elven flinger of arrows and summoner of the otherworld, friend to animals, and general sneak-thief. A creature borne of nobility, she fell in with those who lurk in the back alleys and is now a master of both worlds, of the refined and the deviant.
She was hovering around one of the aforementioned back alleys, planning a heist on a cruel and ignorant neighbour, when suddenly! She got bonked on the head and fell unconscious.
Fractured dreams of magic and wizardry fluttered across her mind, broken by brief moments of pain that were sharp yet not quite sharp enough to take her from the great sleep.
All was taken by fog, her eyes fluttered, and the table beneath her rose up and threw her to the ground.
"This is not my back alley," she muttered beneath her breath, casting a quick glance around.
It looked like a dungeon. The boards beneath her swayed to and fro. A dungeon on a boat, then.
Tip-toeing around, she opened the door and noticed some livestock wandering around.
"Is that why I'm down here?" She wondered. "Am I to be eaten? How ironic."
Ironic because she was an elf and elves were well known to be the eaters of others. Fate was a funny little lady.
A sheep bolted over and kicked her in the shin.
"Get out!" It screamed. "This is my home! Out, out, out!"
"Fine, fine." Caelyra rolled her eyes and retreated through the door she had come through.
Just opposite the table she had lain on was a ladder. Apparently it was invisible before. She narrowed her eyes at it, then climbed through the trapdoor above.
Well-lit by a thousand candles, there were a dozen desks littered with parchment and several shelves filled with books. An apothecary machine sat in the corner.
"The room of a sly wizard, then?" she guessed. "That makes sense. What other creature would take me hostage and keep me in a dungeon?"
She ruffled through the papers on a desk, hoping to find some clue as to who had taken her, when...
"Oi!" A sharp voice rang out. "Get away from there, sorceror!"
There had been a woman in fancy robes observing her this whole time. The wizard who had taken her captive.
"I ain't no sorcerer." Caelyra snapped in her back-alley tones, before her nobility rose. "I am the great Caelyra of House Arisse and I demand to be freed."
"Hah!" The wizard chuckled. "We have an actual Prince captive, too. You're not special. You are a sorcerer and to keep you away from all the good people of the world we are taking you away."
"Away, where?"
"Away." The wizard smiled before turning away. "Feel free to explore the ship and meet your fellow captives. May as well make some friends with those you're destined to spend the rest of your life with, eh?"
"Is this because I can summon creatures from the otherworld? I'm a summoner, lady, not a sorcerer."
There was no response.
Rolling her eyes, Caelyra stomped out of the room and found herself face-to-face with a murder scene.
"Well, isn't that a nice welcome?" she smirked.
There was blood spattered across the walls and floors and two other wizard-people stood on either side of the blood-drenched door, pale and trembling.
"Someone get ripped to shreds, eh?" she asked the wizards. "Murdered? You don't know who did it?"
They tightened their grip on their respective weapons and glared at her.
"I'm an elf, you know. Let me chomp on his arm and I can tell you all you want to know."
"Blasphemmyyyyyy," hissed one of the wizards.
"Aww, come on. I'm hungry. Might as well be hungry and helpful!"
The wizards slammed the door, hiding most of the corpse from view, and resumed their silent guard.
"You wizards are so rude," sniffed Caelyra, pausing as the hint of ale touched her nose.
Whipping away from the rude wizards, she headed for the other door and ripped it open. Soft chatter rose up and the smell of beer and food grew stronger.
There were two other elves, some dwarves, a couple of anthropomorphic lizards, and humans, so many humans.
She tried to approach a group of small humans, crowding around some lady human, but they looked at her in fear and refused to speak. Sometimes she hated being an elf.
Ignoring the rude human children, she waltzed into the centre of the room where some dwarves were conspiring and stole one of their mugs of ale.
"Cheers," she said, taking a slurp. "What's happening?"
The dwarves gave her the side-eye then shuffled off together, leaving their ale behind.
"Thanks!" she shouted after them.
Suddenly, a loud yell broke out at the back of the ship. The rattle of weapons rang loud and clear. Curious, Caelyra jumped up and ran to the next room, bringing some ale with her to enjoy the show.
A group of wizards stood around a harmless old lady, brandishing their weapons at her.
"Murderer!" They screamed.
"Yes." She calmly responded.
"Cool." Caelyra said, draining the mug of all it's ale.
"Ah, you," the old woman said, peering at her. "You have to die, too, you know."
"Um, me?" Caelyra raised an eyebrow.
"Quick, kill the sorcerer!" One of the wizards yelled and stepped closer to the old woman.
Before the wizard could strike, the old woman clapped her hands and vanished into thin air. The ship buckled and lurched. Each and every candle exploded in a mass of flame.
Thunder boomed outside and the ship lurched again, flinging the wizards into the flames and leaving only Caelyra alive.
"Well," Caelyra muttered hurriedly to the corpses. "This has been riveting, but I really must dash."
Dodging the fires, racing up stairs and zooming up ladders, Caelyra ignored all the bodies around her and soon found the outside world.
A storm raged. Gusts of wind threw the ship every which way as lightning flashed across the sky, then a giant tentacle threw itself out of the ocean and smacked the ship with some green slime.
Caelyra watched, wide-eyed, as the green slime transformed into giant void-bugs.
"Well, that was unexpected," she said, wishing she hadn't spoken as the void-bugs whipped around and raced toward her.
A great fight ensued. Void-bugs sprung up from all around and came at her, desperate for her blood and flesh. Arrow after arrow was shot, totems and creatures from the otherworld were summoned, but, so what if she won? The ship was sinking!
Crash!
"Yeeeeeeeeeeeeet!" she screamed, as the ship cracked in half and sent her flying through the air.
Her body smashed into the water and all went black.
A gentle beam of sunlight caressed her face and she groaned. There was sand beneath her, the rush of the sea echoed all 'round, the chirp of seabirds...
Her eyes snapped open.
"I'm not dead."
She leapt to her feet.
"I'm alive!"
A fortress rose high from what appeared to be the centre of the island she had found herself on.
"I'm... on a prison island, aren't I?"
She grabbed a seashell and flung it, hard, into the ocean. It rebounded against an invisible shield. Of course it did. Caelyra fell back to the sand and groaned, louder than before.
This was just her luck, wasn't it?
Until next time,
Thanks for stopping by! 🧙🔮