Hi all...I have decided to reactivate my account at ArtFinder and start selling my drawings and paintings. Throughout the years I have amassed a huge amount of work and I have been keeping them in folders. I used to dream that someday I could open a stall at an art bazaar, but alas, a dream is just a dream. As the years passed by, it never materialized.
I had an Etsy shop once, but that too was reactivated because I didn't see the point of maintaining the shop and paying for the quarterly listing fees.
Life Feels Meaningless....
Photo by Dollar Gill on Unsplash
For the past several years, since 2019 to be exact, I have been struggling with an intense feeling of emptiness. I have always felt that way for many, many years, but it had become intense before the start of the pandemic. I don't quite know how to describe it, but it feels like EVERY SINGLE thing in my life feels meaningless. I suspected that I was (still am) suffering from Persistent Depressive Disorder or dysthymia, but I had never been properly diagnosed. I don't talk about it with anyone; if I did, it was just a passing comment and nothing more. Writing about it here brought about a tremendous amount of shame. And talking about it feels pointless too.
So, out of this lingering feeling of meaningless, I quit making art gradually for the past few years. I closed my shops and stopped accepting commission work. I tried to make art, but it often ended up unfinished. I couldn't find the motivation to keep going because it felt so pointless. People said my art is brilliant, but I couldn't see anything great about it.
The feeling spills to other areas of my life too. I couldn't fully appreciate joyful occasions and preferred to coop up at home, avoiding interactions because I didn't have the energy to make small talk or smile.
I felt exhausted and irritable most of the time.
At its worse, I would suffer from frequent anxiety attacks, heart palpitations, sleeplessness, and weepiness. But thank God because I never have suicide ideation. Imagining it, yes, but never desire it.
I did get better. I was always able to bounce back after months of struggling. The fact that I could write here on Hive, make new art, and make plans to reopen my shop is testimony to that.
I don't know why I am putting this here. But I guess it's important to create awareness that mental struggle can be debilitating like any physical illness. I am not seeking anyone's attention or sympathy. I want to spread awareness about mental health issues. Treat someone who is struggling with compassion and understanding. Never shame someone who is struggling. They can never snap out of it at will or get cheered with toxic positivity. They can't just 'pray more', 'be more spiritual', 'connect more'. Healing journey is often complicated and takes a massive amount of courage.
Is anyone else here having similar struggles? Feel free to share your story under the comment below. I won't judge you, and I encourage everyone to be kind and compassionate towards one another.
Now back to the plan to reopen my ArtFinder shop. I contacted the support team this morning, and I got their return email saying they will look into it in the next few days. So, while waiting to access my shop, I flipped through one of my art folders. I haven't decided which ones will be put up for sale. I must spend some time reviewing my collection and choosing the best ones.
And here is the video of the flipped-through.
Some of the whimsical drawings I plan to put up for sale. What do you think of them?
That's it for now. If you read this far, thank you. I appreciate it so much! Kindly give me a follow if you like my content. I mostly write about making art, life musing, and our mundane yet charming family life here in Klang Valley, Malaysia.
Thank you for visiting and reading my post. I hope you like it!
My First NFT Collection – Stencil 2017 – Is Now Available On OpenSea
My Second NFT Collection – Oli Kawaii Verse – Is Now Available On OpenSea
You never be alone , we are here but somehow we always be alone . Some say i know how it feel , but even they know how it feel , you and me its not the same . Well , that how i feel went the zombieness attacking me and its do takes times to recover . Keep strong and keep going . What doesnt kill you , will make you stronger.
By the way , those artwork was awesome . :). I guess you also encourage me to start over again in making art
Ya betul. I don't expect anyone to give solutions. All we need is empathy, acceptance, and validation of our experiences. Jangan menghakimi sebarangan kalu enda tau cerita.
Begitu la tu . hoho..
Woah your NFT is adorable, thou. One of the talents I envy is artistic talent; haha, that makes you unique, guys. I am hoping that you find your great motivation to start and never get bored to art. Your great maker as I could see your works. 😍
Thank you so much for your kind words. I appreciate it a lot!
⋆ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘʟᴀᴄᴇ ғᴏʀ sᴏᴜᴛʜᴇᴀsᴛ ᴀsɪᴀɴ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ ᴏɴ ʜɪᴠᴇ
⋆ sᴜʙsᴄʀɪʙᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴀsᴇᴀɴ ʜɪᴠᴇ ᴄᴏᴍᴍᴜɴɪᴛʏ
⋆ ғᴏʟʟᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴇ ᴀsᴇᴀɴ ʜɪᴠᴇ ᴄᴏᴍᴍᴜɴɪᴛʏ ᴠᴏᴛɪɴɢ ᴛʀᴀɪʟ
⋆ ᴅᴇʟᴇɢᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ʟɪɴᴋs 25 ʜᴘ⇾50 ʜᴘ⇾100 ʜᴘ⇾500 ʜᴘ⇾1,000 ʜᴘ