Did I say that right, Her Majesty with a capital H? I think that's how you say it. Magistrate, The Queen, that's what I call her, The Queen. Didn't even know there was a II after it until last week. Queen Elizabeth II; royal crown of the royal family, monarch CEO, Andrew's mother—her. Today's her funeral.
We leave for Paris tomorrow. I needed some cash. I hate cash but I hate it even more when I need it and don't have any. Where I'm from we tip drivers and bellhops and whoever else offers their services to make life easier. So I grabbed an umbrella and took off to the ATM while Pura stayed back. She's reading The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A Fuck right now under a blanket with the heater on cuz it's freezing in England in September!! I had the whole town to myself.
It's a ghost town out there. Like an afternoon in a Mormon town on a Sunday only worse. Even the ATM is in mourning.
But if you ever wanted to kneel in the middle of the street at lunch time and snap photos for your imaginary friends in virtual land, today's the day. Not a car in sight today that isn't parked.
So I got comfortable. Hung out with me for a minute on one of many open benches and looked at nothing. Then I sat on a different one. And a different one like musical chairs only different cuz the only music I hear are church bells in the distance but I don't think they ever stopped.
Then I started trippin like..
Am I even supposed to be out here?
They're gonna know I'm not from here if it's lockdown 2.0 right now and I'm the only one who didn't get the memo.
But the embassy didn't say shit!
They usually email me when trains are on strike or there's a terrorist threat or my visa's about to expire but all they said was businesses will be closed so plan ahead.
No one said anything about stay inside.
And if they smell weed and come here they'll think it's me for sure cuz I'm the only one out here and I'm smoking a joint.
I gotta get outta here. I'm probably not supposed to be out here and they're watching me. They knew I needed the ATM, I bet that's why it didn't work, they've been watching me the whole time.
Damn this is some good weed!
Church bells are still ringing. I think those are church bells.
I need something to drink.
What if those aren't church bells and they're sirens and they're coming to get me?! I'm outta here, I got a plane to catch in the morning.