Thai Curry Equals No Worries
Yesterday turned out to be a bit of a strange day, as a friend who has struggled with depression all their life reached out to me in a state of severe emotional turmoil after being browbeaten by one of his obnoxious siblings. This might sound like one of those situations where you might think I should have said, “just grow a pair and tell your idiot brother to stick it up his jumper.”
Anyone who has suffered from clinical depression rather than circumstantial depression - by which I mean depression that is based upon a particular circumstance like breaking up with a partner, losing a beloved pet, or even a close relative dying - will understand how dangerous it is to facilitate the clinically depressed in blaming themselves any more than they already do.
Clinical depression is a state of mind that can last decades, a condition where there is no rhyme or reason why you wake up every day wishing you weren’t alive! The stigma attached to this disease often leads people, especially young males who are conditioned to hide their emotions from an early age, to keep it bottled up and eventually take their own life.
I have been in various states of clinical depression all of my life, and so I recognised what my friend needed. Someone to listen, chat about normal stuff, and show that they care. My way of doing this was to make my speciality dish… Red Thai Curry.
The worst thing you can do when someone is in an awful state of mental health is to judge them. Believe me, if you can’t find the compassion to leave your ego aside and offer a friendly ear, a shoulder to cry on, or even silent company without trying to advise, think about why you need to tell them how it is!
Because I guarantee that any judgement you put on them, they will already have thought 100 times worse of themselves habitually, and you only reinforce those voices of self-loathing.
Good Food Feeds the Soul
I truly believe that this is true, and despite my friend’s piss-taking as I cooked (banter is the way Liverpudlian males show our friendship) …
“You’ll make someone a good housewife one day” my friend said as I chopped the veg.
I knew as we sat down to binge-watch a few episodes of Rick and Morty that the worst was over for him.After a few Gin fruit concoctions I made, we were soon waxing philosophical about the state of our woeful government, LFC’s chances to win the league this year and how Manchester City Football Club stole the league from us last season… and slowly but surely everything was right with the world.
It doesn’t always take a heart to heart, although sometimes this can help. Often, the best thing you can do for someone suffering a clinical depression crisis is simply be there for them and bring them back to the mundane banter that you usually share as friends.
Comfort Food is Self-Care to Share
The basis of a friendship for me is to share the good with the bad. To be there for my friends through their joys and hardships, and this extends to sharing comfort food. After all, even in certain medieval cultures, there was an unwritten rule that you offered the weary traveller a meal and hospitality.
Thai curry might seem like a strange choice for a pasty-skinned Brit, but as I travelled for 6 months in Thailand, Malaysia and Indonesia, I picked up a few tricks.
A good curry enlivens the senses, warms the stomach and I’ve found raises the mood.
Food is Always Better Shared
As I’m far from well off financially, this was the best way I could think of to help my friend forget the unrealistic expectations that some of his family places upon him when he is nearing that point of crisis. Family are so often driven by sibling rivalries and parental conditioning, but a friend can (and should) see the realities of a person’s situation from the outside.
And it is no hardship for me to show I care by sharing my understanding of what my friend was going through by listening without advice or judgement, and making him a hearty meal as he’d confessed he’d only been eating once per day for the last week.
I think the world would be a much better place if more people understood that ancient practice of offering food and companionship without expectations of anything in return. The law of karma has proven to me time and time again that these random acts of kindness reverberate out into the world anyway, reflecting back on you when you find yourself in a dark place.
My Red Thai Curry 'Depression Busting' Recipe
Ingredients
• 500g of Broccoli
• ½ cup of peas
• 1 large carrot finely chopped
• 1 large potato roughly chopped
• 1 lime
• 1 can of coconut milk
• Thai basil
• 2 tablespoons of Thai red curry paste (I use store-bought in the UK as all of the ingredients to make it fresh are so hard to find)
• 1 tablespoon coconut oil & 1 tablespoon butter
• 1 Tbsp fish sauce
• ½ teaspoon coconut sugar or brown sugar
• ½ cup water optional
• 1 cup of jasmine rice
Instructions
Chop the tougher ingredients like the carrots and potato into small chunks then parboil for ten minutes.
If you're serving this curry alongside sticky jasmine rice, then you'll want to start cooking this immediately so it can cook while the rest of the recipe is prepared. Add one teaspoon of sugar to the pan and add double the amount of water to rice ratio. Boil on a low setting until the rice has just a little bite and then run under a cold tap.
Next, prepare your vegetables. Slice the broccoli, carrots and potatoes. You can cut them into pieces as thin/thick as you prefer – though remember that this will affect their cooking time.
Parboil the carrots and potatoes in a small saucepan for ten minutes.
In a large pan, heat up the coconut oil and butter plus the red curry paste for a minute, mixing them lightly. Then add all the soft vegetables. Stir fry the veggies for 3-4 minutes to begin to soften them. Then add the coconut milk and add the remainder of the ingredients (carrots and sweet potatoes) and cook for a further 5 minutes until all the veg has softened.
Taste the curry and adjust any ingredients if needed – add a little extra curry paste if preferred, lime juice for extra tang, coconut sugar for sweetness, fish sauce for saltiness etc.
Finally, just before serving throw in the Thai basil at the last minute.
Once ready, remove from heat and serve alongside the jasmine rice – enjoy!
Thanks for reading, and remember to practice kindness for kindness' sake 🙂🌿
For the best experience view this post on Liketu
Click banner to visit the community page
Find us on twitter by clicking the banner above.
Interested in trading, buying or selling crypto?
Sign up to Bittrex: https://bittrex.com/account/register?referralCode=3X3-FEG-WJE
Sign up to Coinbase: https://www.coinbase.com/join/joyce_pa
Sign up to Swissborg app to instantly buy crypto: https://join.swissborg.com/r/rowanKC4M
Use my referral link to sign up for Crypto.com and we both get $25 USD: https://crypto.com/app/vk6qzgsu98
If You Have Found Value From this Post and Want to tip extra, Crypto Donations Are Welcomed:
►Donate Ether and ERC20 Tokens: 0x32321615174AF3Da6074Cf79DED8269cA7a8eB24
►Donate Bitcoin: bc1q8wutj8u6ush7s8mucphfxf7gzrexeywmuqm8g3
►Donate Bitcoin Cash: qzt7c0czw0q988h93jvcz2rq5gy0s3h9pg2pk700ev
►Donate Litecoin: Lfsnz3pbT5V9N6WWGRaBsgKs9EvFeqzcPm
►Donate BNB: bnb1xeu94exteel9w3g8g44e6g595kvrqlgzm0crq4
►Donate Monero: 49PovXGcM9Y7JYeRJ35W9xZGrdivvLaMbVtGc3WDv6amCm5wqA854SvJNWxaEqjTz18K5YVPj5D6619C3bvNHsrG7oD1whb
►Donate Tezos: tz1SJUkpeznKE6bEhbX81YFdUQS5BprA4ot8
►Donate XRP: r35quYTThThN7yNvkJxyhLFAPyju3tsT35
Excellent article. Not only is the recipe nice, but your understanding, caring, and sharing to help others is commendable. I believe that you truly can't help someone else unless you know the depths of what the person is experiencing.
Thanks for sharing.
Take care and have a good rest of your week.
Read from LN
!LUV
!LADY
You've got it exactly right with this statement @justclickindiva
And it's something I've dealt with all my life, particularly from the male members of my family when I've been suffering a clinical depression crisis - all they wanted to do as tell me how to sort myself out, with no idea how close I was to the edge, yet they judged me as not wanting to be helped because of their lack of understanding.
All of that type of behaviour is complete ego-based thinking. It is a fact that someone can only understand that level of inexplicable despair if they've gone through it. With clinical depression there is no reason why you're at suicidal depths of feeling, and on it goes sometimes for years, and the best thing friends did for me, and what I now do for my friend, is to be there... no judgement, no advice (unless they ask) and just kindness without expectation.
Not all families are judgemental, but there is usually at least one person in a familiy who is like that.
Anyway, thanks for the token tips, and for recognising the truth at the heart of my article. Lol, it wasn't really about food to be honest, more about compassion 😂
!LUV
@raj808(1/3) gave you LUV.
tools | wallet | discord | community | <><
HiveBuzz.me NFT for Peace
You're welcome, and that's why they call it "comfort food". :)
View or trade
LOHtokens.@justclickindiva, you successfully shared 0.1000 LOH with @raj808 and you earned 0.1000 LOH as tips. (4/9 calls)
Use !LADY command to share LOH! More details available in this post.
@justclickindiva(4/5) gave you LUV.
tools | wallet | discord | community | <><
HiveBuzz.me NFT for Peace
Have I ever told you that I like you Raj? You are just beyond a beautiful soul. So many people just need a dose of care and acceptance, and the listening part is the best balm. Also curry, because curry is beyond therapeutic.
"Pickle Rick!", mixed drinks, and some Thai curry sounds amazing, I'm glad your friend has you😊
Thank you for such wonderful compliments @generikat and I like you too. From reading your blogs, and all I've seen you talk about your love of nature, I feel we're kindred spirits my friend 🙂
I guess that I learned early in life, partly through having overbearing and often judgemental family members, both how unhappy they were, and how unhappy they made many of the people around them.
I think the world is far too full of judgemental people, who solve nothing through that behaviour and ultimately cause damage. Anyway, after recognising my tendency to judge at a certain point in my life, it just clicked that it was such a pointless waste of energy in a finite life, and that drive to evaluate based upon my preconceptions slowly evaporated.
It felt like magic if I'm honest, like a psychological sigh that released a heavy painful weight.
Lol, that is some deep and meaningful stuff 😂
Anyway, ever since letting go of that part of myself I've only found friends of a similar mindset, and if a friend is depressed then, as you said, care and acceptance is the only thing that makes sense to me.
Ha ha and of course...
Making me feel very hungry for Thai curry - thank you for the recipe 😁
Ha ha, good stuff.
Make it up, I promise you won't be disappointed. The only warning I'd give is that 2 tablespoons of Red Thai Curry Paste does make a spicy version for the western palette.
The Thai people would say two tablespoons is weak, but I find it just on the edge of what I can take. Warming to be sure 😂
The spicier the better in general for me so long as the individual flavours are still discernible :-) !
Ha ha, maybe you might want to throw extra whole chilis in then like they do in Thailand.
I remember having a red curry in Chaing Mai in a restaurant, and the waitress said "do you want the tourist version" and I was like "no bring me what the locals have"... it had 6 small whole Thai chilis in it and by the time I finished the bowl the sweat was pouring off me, the locals were laughing but I got a round of applause 😂
But I have to admit, it was 100% beyond my comfort zone.
I miss the birds eye chillis from Asia - I used them all the time in Vietnam but here in Mexico I'm still searching for them. 🌶
They're a little hot for me. But I do love Mexican food and enjoy making my own Salsa and sometimes ceviche, although it is hard to get fish fresh enough here in the UK 😒
But I have found this:
Which adds that authentic smokey spice to my salsa and burritos 🙂
Hi @raj808,
Thank you for participating in the #teamuk curated tag. We have upvoted your quality content.
For more information visit our discord https://discord.gg/8CVx2Am
I want to have a taste of this already, I could tell it was delicious and comforting as you've learnt about it.
I've never thought a meal could have these abilities 😅 I think most of our meals should have these abilities and not just Red Thai curry 🤔
You're kind and passionate enough to know that your friend needs a listening ear and heart to heart talk... So comforting of you ❤️
Read from LN
Yeah, I guess people underestimate the power of food to help heal, especially mental health, mainly I think because good food might take you back to happy memories etc.
Anyway, I'm glad my pictures inspired you to want to taste it... and maybe one day make it yourself. I promise its worth it if you like curry 😃
Someone wise once told me it costs nothing to be kind 😃
Sure, I would love to make it myself someday... Curry taste good to me 😊
That wise someone was very right!
So true, they just want an ear that listens.. true friendship!
This <3
Would you believe it when I say I never made a curry in my life haha. It's true :) I haven't.. Maybe I should try it!
Anyway, wishing you the best day today!!!!
!CTP
You get it completely about the judgement thing. For me, after I recognised my tendency to judge at a certain point in my life, it just clicked that it was such a pointless waste of energy in a finite life.
Then that drive to evaluate based on my preconceptions slowly evaporated. It felt like magic if I’m honest, like a psychological sigh that released a heavy painful weight.
Awww, that is crazy talk? 😉
If you can find an Asian supermarket or store somewhere near where you are, buy the paste and it is super easy if you use the pre-made paste. I think my recipe is a good start, and an easy curry to make for your first ever curry.... hint hint, nudge nudge 😂
When I was in Thailand I learned how to do the whole lot from scratch, but making the paste is the most difficult part... especially with a mortar and pestle 😂
It is scientifically true: a good, nutritious, full-of-flavor meal makes our brains produce dopamine, which essentially creates a nice feeling.
Yeah m8 I know that to be true as well. But also I think in the case of mental health making someone some good hearty food also has a settling effect.
When someone is isolated, that sitting at a table chatting thing helps in a subtle but profound way.
Thanks for checking out my blog @mrprofessordaily
It has been a while since we chatted, I still remember seeing your epic bike adventures back in the day on steem.
Great that you were there for him Raj. Due to the policies and actions of the governments, they are causing massiving mental health issues amongst the population which is a serious issue.
I agree wholeheartedly with everything you've just said!
I can't help but get political now, especially this government we have in the UK now are purposely underfunding the NHS making it very often impossible to get the help you need if CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) doesn't work for you.
They literally won't let you get talking (gestalt counselling) therapy without going through CBT, I tried just after the pandemic explaining that I'd had 'talking therapy' before and it had helped me greatly, and I basically wanted to get on the waiting list for that type of therapy. The person said they needed to talk to their manager, then came back on the line and flat out said NO, you have to go to this group CBT therapy before we'll even consider you for talking therapy.
I got pretty mad and basically said to the woman, I know this isn't your fault, but CBT has not helped me twice in the past, and you should be able to see that on your computer records... and I was like "what if I was feeling suicidal?" I'm not by the way. But I asked her to communicate to her manager that it was a failure of duty of care what they had done, because I wasn't going to go to group CBT so basically their message to me was fck off or do this therapy that has been documented as not being suitable for me.
Anyway, this is why I take the time to regularly invite my friend over for drinks and food because he's severely depressed at the moment, and I've been there myself.
Thanks for reading mypathtofire, and for your meaningful comment 😃
Thanks for explaining the situation Raj. It's good to know there are some good people out there who recognise the importance of mental health and react in such a great way. Good luck with your battles with the nhs, im glad I dont have to deal with them, it sounds awful.
IF you give me that plate of food, yeah I would share it, with myself only! 😁 But I would share the Gin though.
Well done with helping your friend, it is also important that you did it at the right moment and you showed that you care, we all have our "low moments" and a simple gesture can help a lot in the long run.
Voted on ListNerds!
Ha ha, can't blame you there as it is as tasty as it looks 😃
It looks absolutely delicious, with lots of vegetables, curry to me seems too difficult to make but when I look at your recipe it looks manageable, I must try that, thank you!
I see what you mean about being clinically depressed, not myself, luckily, but my best friend has been suffering for a couple of decades. She refuses to see anyone, so the last time I saw her face-to-face was over 10 years ago. And I mean we are "best friends" to each other.
So it's great to hear that your friend has great company, sharing a great evening, beating treated with your delicious food! Thank you for sharing the story and the amazing recipe!
Yeah, the curry yes was super tasty and with pre-bought paste it isn't that hard to be honest 😀
I know how that goes, but not quite as severe. The same friend who I cooked for and cheered up disappears (basically locking himself in his flat) for months sometimes. I've also ended living hermit-like for 6 months once before when my depression was much worse.
Thanks m8, I don't see it as any chore to do kindnesses like this just for kindness' sake. I honestly think that if a lot more people judged less and replaced that urge with kindness we'd live in a much different, and better, world.
Anyway, I'm a hippie at heart lol
Looks delicious 😋😋
Thanks chanmaly, yes it was super tasty and I'm going to share another food photography blog today as I went to lovely pub/restaurant yesterday 😀
I relish reading this blog so much! I even wish I could go back to medieval period where I was a lone traveller, at the end of day, I, being both hungry and exhausted, had to enter a stranger's home for help. The kindhearted owner offered me a glass of Gin fruit concoctions and Red Thai Curry along jasmine rice which was too yummy. I was deeply grateful and thanked him a lot. All of sudden, I recognized the owner was nobody else but you--our Hive Poem Star!
Yeah, so happy for your friend to have you in UK; so wonderful for us to have you in Hive! I always believe that friend's value is truly above rubies(from J.K.Rowling).
By the way, I am rather puzzled. I doubt why and how you run down the cold tap when the rice has a little bite？Just for cooling rice down quickly？I have no idea.
Another is how to understand "just grow a pair and tell your idiot brother to stick it up his jumper” correctly？Could you please explain them for me？
Thank you for your great writing which warms my heart! Just as one of your replies saying, it wasn't really about food, but more about compassion or empathy.
Hi @kaixin
Yes, it is to cool it down quickly so I can throw it in the fridge and it becomes sticky quicker that way 🙂
I find Tahi curry so much better with sweet sticky Jasmin rice, but that is just my preference 😂