A look into the daily life of a depressed teenager. (Author Notes at the end.)
I Function
I don’t live. I function.
I wake up.
I force myself to look at the time.
I’m only 1 hour late to school.
Too bad.
I go to the fridge for leftovers.
I encounter an angry father by the fridge.
I tell him, I’m late the school.
Better not go.
He lists out the reasons I should go.
I don’t blame him. He’s been supportive.
I don’t listen. I function.
I go to school.
I force myself on the way.
I was asked why I was late?
I don’t give excuses. I function.
It’s exhausting.
I encounter a surprise quiz.
I don’t answer. I function.
In the break. I was asked why I’m not playing like I used to.
They’re being supportive.
I don’t play. I function.
I go back home.
Finally,
I’m exhausted.
I connect to the internet.
I chat with fellow gamers.
I don’t play games. I chat.
I was asked why I don’t play games anymore.
They're being supportive.
I give excuses.
I chat with the gamers.
They all go to sleep.
I realize I should sleep too.
I go to bed.
I don’t sleep. I function.
[The End]
Author Notes
I Function, is the feeling I have when I do things I don't want to when I have to. I don't feel like I'm living, just doing what I'm supposed to do as a machine.
Luckily, I only need to do that a few minutes in a while, in my life, or it would've been a slow suicide process.
That last point is what I tried to capture in this story: "Depression is a slow suicide process," and I think we all should seek help.
This is an idea that was sparked while writing another story of mine. It was simple so I finished this one before going back to the other story I've been writing. So, I hope you enjoyed reading it.
- This story is also on Read.cash.
- The story's cover was made in Canva using this Gun photo.
I Function by @ahmadmanga is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0
Many people "function" eight or more hours per day in their workplaces.
You are lucky/fortunate with that. Many people do things that they do not like to do every day. They have to do this (or at least this is what/how they feel) to make a living. Many people live almost their complete/entire life like this.
I know I'm lucky. I can't imagine working on something I have zero joy in. (Thouygh I'm confident in my ability to create joy if needed, and that's probably why I only feel like this a few minutes at a time.)
It saddens me that "functioning" is the only option for many people in life... It's also worse if you're already dealing with a mental illness.
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