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With a simple search on the web we can get tips to make a couple relationship last in time and the flame of love be maintained. Some of the most frequent maxims are: respect each other (differences of opinions, interests), dedicate quality time (share an activity you both like, spend time alone) and maintain good communication, that is, that there is a space of trust to freely express thoughts and emotions. This is what today's article, communication in couples, contrary to what most people think, too much communication can be harmful.
Cada pareja es distinta y es algo más que la suma de las partes que la conforman. Por eso a veces podemos funcionar perfectamente bien con algún tipo de persona, y con otras no. Cuando finalmente ocurre el “Match” e iniciamos una relación de pareja, solemos aplicar las “reglas básicas” que dije en el párrafo anterior, y cualquier otra que hayamos aprendido a través de familiares y amigos.
Every couple is different and is more than the sum of its parts. That's why sometimes we can work perfectly well with some kind of person, and sometimes not. When the "match" finally occurs and we start a relationship, we usually apply the "ground rules" I said in the previous paragraph, and any others we have learned through family and friends
Específicamente con respecto a la comunicación, ciertamente es importante que exista un espacio en la pareja donde se pueda conversar sobre la relación (cómo se sienten, qué les gusta y que no) y sobre asuntos externos a la relación, por ejemplo, temas familiares, laborales, etc. Sin embargo, esta comunicación también puede extenderse de forma patológica al punto de que no se guarda nada dentro de uno y todo se deposita en la pareja, y de igual forma, se espera que la pareja cuente absolutamente todo sobre su vida, qué piensa en cada momento, con cuántas personas habló ese día etc.
Specifically with regard to communication, it is certainly important that there is a space in the couple where they can talk about the relationship (how they feel, what they like and don't like) and about issues outside the relationship, for example, family issues, work, etc. However, this communication can also extend in a pathological way to the point that nothing is kept inside you and everything is deposited in the other person, and in the same way, the person is expected to tell absolutely everything about his or her life, what he or she thinks at each moment, how many people he or she spoke to that day, etc.
Esto situación no puede simplificarse con el término celos, porque a veces no demandan que el novio/novia esposo/esposa/ cuente todo sobre sí mismos pero sí quieren ser escuchados/as todo el tiempo. Así, la pareja se vuelve un basurero emocional, un terapeuta, un psicólogo 24/7. Entonces, la persona que funciona en la relación como psicólogo termina cansándose porque es muy agotador cargar con los pensamientos, miedos, inseguridades de otras personas, de por sí cada quien tiene las suyas.
This situation cannot be simplified with the term jealousy, because sometimes they do not demand that the boyfriend/girlfriend husband/wife tell everything about themselves but they do want to be heard all the time. Thus, the couple becomes an emotional dustbin, a therapist, a 24/7 psychologist. Then, the person who functions in the relationship as a psychologist ends up getting tired because it is very exhausting to carry the thoughts, fears, insecurities of other people, each one has his own.
El apoyo, la empatía, la preocupación por el bienestar de otra persona son cosas fundamentales en una relación amorosa, pero abusar del espacio seguro puede dañarlo todo y acabar con el amor. En el caso de que lo necesitemos, podemos asistir a un psicólogo. Un profesional que sí está preparado para lidiar con nuestras “sombras” y que nos puede ayudar.
Support, empathy, concern for the well-being of another person are fundamental things in a love relationship, but abusing the safe space can damage everything and end the love. If we need it, we can see a psychologist. A professional who is prepared to deal with our "shadows" and who can help us.
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