Hello Hiveians!
I'm on my 4th day of my 30-Day Blogging Challenge by @tegoshei and the topic for this day should be about my relationship or if I'm single, I'll discuss about single life. Wait. Who would discuss their single life? That's why I hated this topic. 😂
Story time.
Just a few months before quarantine, I met someone via a dating site. Now, before you'll react, I know what you feel because I'm also confused until now as to why I did what I did. Everything goes against my nature as a calculating and distrustful individual. I had almost all of my firsts with that person. I called it as an avalanche affair. Everything happened so fast that I had trouble keeping up. It was so overwhelming I almost shut down. That was one week of pure stimulus that rocks the very world I envisioned and started to build around me. It seems I'm in a speeding car with the person who made me feel both anxiety and adrenaline at the same time. And you and I both know where that speeding car was going. In a crash.
And then I was ghosted. Just like that.
One day, all you feel is this ray of sunshine and pure bliss that you don't care what the world thinks about you. All you care was the person beside you, holding your hand and smiling at you, making your stomach churn, forcing you to neglect all the thoughts of what would be the aftermath of that moment. The next day, everything feels cold. You left your shell because you were given assurances. And those assurances are gone with the whiff of the wind.
I was left with a bitter choice, go back to the ruined shell where I once was or stay in the cold where I could freeze waiting for the sun to shine again. If I'll choose the former, I wouldn't see the world the same. If I'll choose the later, I would be choosing the path to my own demise. Care to guess what I chose?
I was desensitized. Just like that.
Imelda Papin's Isang Linggong Pag-ibig would not be able to describe what happened. It was a mess. Everything went haywire. I couldn't care about the world around me because what happened inside my head was pure devastation. I realized it was never about that person, it was about me. It was about those first time sensations that I never thought would happen to me, but happened anyway. I realized that the person was irrelevant because it was about me and my feelings at that exact moment where the world I built collapsed in front of me. I never thought that all it takes is a complete stranger to make the bricks of my wall crumble and turn to dust.
There are things I could not divulge in this post as it is tantamount to betrayal. Betrayal of both trust and decency, if there's such a thing. What I can do is resort to metaphors and allusions to mask the inadequacy of words to describe what really happened. As I said, everything was a mess.
I hate to admit that "The Logician" ignored all the warning signs and red flags. I couldn't accept the fact the everything's going down a slippery slope. I couldn't accept that I didn't anticipate the risks I subjected myself into. Or I anticipated every risk, I just ignored them. To give you a little bit of context, I went to a place I didn't know exists in the middle of the night just to meet that person. My calculating self ignored the very idea that I could be robbed or anything worse could happen to me. That was pure insanity.
So, YES, I'm single and more guarded than ever. Happy?
I hate you @tegoshei for making me share this! No, I'm kidding. I really wanted to share this for a long time. This challenge is the perfect avenue for that.
Note: Allowed comments are only those that pertains the philosophy and psychology behind such acts. Nothing more, nothing less. 😂
Day 1: What's With the Username?
Day 2: Ten Interesting Facts About Me
Day 3: My Day in Detail: Working Under the New Normal Environment
Kim Ybañez
Welcome to Kim's small corner in Hive. He is a chemical engineer by profession, but a blogger by passion. He is a wanderlust and an adventure seeker. Join his quests as he visits secluded destinations, climbs mountains, tries new and exotic dishes, and explores his country (The Philippines) and the rest of the world even if he's still a poor corporate slave with tons of bills to pay and two siblings to support in college.
If you like his content, don't forget to upvote and leave a comment to show some love. You can also reblog if you want to. Also, don't forget to follow him to be updated with his latest posts.
I love you Kim!!! <3 I'm glad you didn't skip this topic. It must have been tough, but as you know, there's no other way to go but forward. ;) Who knows, you might meet someone who's good at drawing and diving.. aww.. Peace Kim! Padung pa ko mag.write sa ako Day 4.. haha :D
Kinsa man jud na ang kahibaw mudrawing ug diving ba? Introvert ni sha like me? Nagfree diving sa Leyte with the whale sharks? Nag Japan nya cute iyang photo na nagscraf? 😂
Basin lahi ni ba. Assuming lang ko?
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaa~!!! KIM!!! Yes... we're on the same page! hahaha xDD
Wala na jud koy idea asa na to sha. 😂
wala siya sa imong heart? lili-a daw Kim... hahaha
Uhmmm. So far? Wala man. 😂
I think friends mi sa Facebook pero wala naman koy Facebook so, nganga sa. Haha
aww... hahaha... btaw, asa na kaha to ang mga taw sauna... ikaw nlng, si Gail, Roger, Gillaine og Bien aq makit.an dri... si Mjan pd usahai... xD
Hahaha kaengon kog mo pass jud da. Well, people will always like that man jud but why do we care diba. Ang important malipayon but kaso wala nadayon?hahaha
Pero grabe ang mga words gipang gamit nimo kim. Naglisod kog sagang oi. Sana all..#tiktok. hahaha
Ipamukha jud na wala nadayon? Ganon? Well, it was never about the person. It was about the feeling. Char. Ingon ani jud ko basta love2x. Manggawas ang usa ka basket na vocabulary. 😂
Wal to gipamukha, na rhyme lang maong gidayon.hahaha
Bitaw nice oi, wa pakoy mga inana nga words. Kasabot ko gamay but di ko makahunahuna og gamit kay confused kos meaning if angay ba nakong gamiton.hahaha
Char2x ra na. Taka2x rako usahay. 😂
Mga words nga masagap sige tan-aw ug series. Gamiton dayon bisan wa kahibaw sa meaning. 😂
Shared to Twitter:
I was silently reading your entries and I really thought that you would skip this topic. 😁😁
But I can relate to that ghosting shtt. I've been ghosted twice and I know how it feels. Maka-bitter at first, but we'll realize nga naa man sad jud ta na-learn out of that experience which we can use and apply on our future relationships.
Di unta ko mo-comment tungod sa imong note sa last. Saon naka-relate man jud kos ghosting uy. Hehehhe
Hahaha! I was bothered by the ghosting at first, but I realized it was not really about the ghosting. I mean it happened so fast that I barely had attachment. What bothers me more was my reaction to the events before the ghosting. It was overwhelming for me even until now.
We'll really realize everything when it's done. We can't imagine how we did the things that we think we couldn't do. Ana jud siguro ng gugma ba, mawagtang ta sa sarili kadiyot. Hehehe
"Gugmang giatay. Di nako muusab." Says someone and will still do the same thing all over again. Kay nahigugma man. Pero careful na bitaw ko. 😂
Thank you for courageously pouring your heart out and baring your soul into this post. Tagos sa puso, well done. Love can make us do crazy things and there are no words to describe the pain of betrayal. It was indeed an avalanche.
I was never even sure it was love. 😂 Everything was so wrong in my eyes and yet it feels so addicting I had no chance to back off and recollect my steps. Maybe it was just because of the many firsts that happened to me. I don't know. Charot
Haha, what an experience though - so intense 😁 yay, we are off to lighter topics next
And I'll never feel the same about this challenge. I knew it would open some doors I locked, but not to this extent. I loved this challenge anyway. So, let's look forward to Day 5. Haha
That's life. We try new things, we make mistakes, we learn from them, then we move on. It was brave of you to share this experience.
The motherly buttons in me suddenly flashed red as soon as I read this. Nagworry ako. I'm just thankful nothing bad happened to you. I mean being ghosted was terrible but at least you did not get hurt physically.
That's mommy @romeskie! Nagworry din ako sa mga pinaggagawa ko noon. Pero alam ko na po paano kontrolin sarili ko. The ghosting part was just minor to me. It was my reactions when all of those happened that made me worry about myself. Hirap pala maging tanga pag pag-ibig na pinag-uusapan. 😂