What ignites your being? What expands your healing grounds far beyond where your pain is standing? What aligns you and what you are here for?
Pain is here and she is gorgeous. Her shiny strands of unsolicited memories cascade with the lengths of my flowing hair. She has embedded herself into my core and has a hold of the steering wheel with a blindfold on.
How do I tell her to leave when I can't take my eyes off her?
The glow of my traumatised soul sits in the same room with the darkness surrounding it. The strength to carve smiles on a hardened face and brew warm fuzzy feelings from the depths of my distilled chaos reigns here.
Can you see my undying dim light fighting to rekindle my fierce?
The morning sun clenches on my new day's ticking seconds until it is not. The afternoon light takes over the shift and overworks herself to ready me for the coming night and how to handle my shadows with ease.
Where do they teach how to live?
Echoes of harmonized wild melodies hover around my unstable overthinking mind to keep me from going over the edge. There are times I find myself humming in an attempt to escape the enticing easier ways out.
How do you breathe whilst still drowning?
Time is said to mend everything but it is as normal for my human to heal just as it is for mother earth. Like her, I have withstood storms and nourished my soil with blood and sweat. My crust long embodied the scars that have made my mosaic.
Do you agree that we are art?
Like the rains cleanse the earth, my sins await my redemption through these pouring tears. I have repented severely and sought forgiveness enough times but I am still bearing the shame of what I have done.
Will I ever forgive myself?
This is a free write of sorts that popped up in my mind at 3 am. I am not sure how it will be received by you who is taking the time to read it. I am trying to grieve without getting lost in the mayhem of loss and learning to exude light even while still stuck in the dark.
wambuku w. ...art by Sarah Riches.
I don't know how your 3am musings are received by others @tezmel, but I received this with gratitude and awe as you share your vulnerability, tenderness and courage. Thank you sister ♥️