I’ve been in several situations that exacerbate my fear. There’s a time when I got electrocuted by an open wire that resulted in my ‘lowkey’ phobia of anything that deals with electricity. I also have this fear of totally expressing myself because I got bullied in my early childhood.
According to psychology, fear is a normal human instinct. This emotion protects us from possible dangers we might encounter. Sometimes, fear comes from what we've been through, like I said above, to warn us and keep us from going through bad things.
As an individual who’s in the daily struggle of fighting himself, I am doing something to alleviate this uncomfortable feeling because I know that being consumed by fear will affect me at some point.
Recently, I’ve been trapped in a situation where I feared of losing someone. My fear of losing him is not a result of an awful situation, but a result of my deep affection and attachment. This is different from the examples mentioned earlier, and I also don’t know why it's like that. Maybe they’re correct that when the heart takes control, you will not know what will happen or you will not understand the whole situation.
I recently had a relationship where I was afraid to take action against my partner. Despite having an issue, I’ll just let my mouth shut and do nothing about it. I am scared that I might be the reason for the faltering of our relationship. This irrational fear lasted over the duration of our 'romance', but I just kept on gaslighting myself that everything was okay and I was just overthinking. I am so dumb for doing that, but I think that’s what happens when you’re in love with someone; you keep on patiently closing your eyes because you believe that understanding, accepting, and pain are part of love.
However, he did something that became my turning point to overcome my fear of losing him. It's ironic that he’s also the one who pushed me to face this fear and end what we have. Although there’s still a fear that my decision might be wrong, I still proceed because I finally realized that I am already consumed by fear, and that emotion is just the reason why I am staying in this relationship.
It's been more than a month since I decided to part ways with him. There were a lot of sleepless nights, mental breakdowns, and tears, but here I am, not yet fully healed. I am not anticipating this, so I am quite sure that this is not the reason why I am fearing leaving him. I'm afraid because I thought he was the only person in this world who can accept my flaws and if I let him go, no one would ever love me. Maybe this thinking can be rooted in my low self-esteem and low self-worth, which I am trying to improve right now.
I think about messaging him sometimes, especially late at night, because I'm afraid he'll forget what we had and what he'd done to me. It feels unfair that the one who hurt you is the one who can easily move on and forget, while their victim was left miserable and traumatized. But I know that this is just a phase and it will fade soon.
I am distracting myself by writing and sharing my thoughts here on Hive. My academic activities also played a big factor in helping me shift my negative emotions into a more productive endeavor.My friends that I met online and on personal, also help me to cope with a sudden jolt of sadness.
Overcoming my fears isn’t easy. But I knew that once I overcame it, I would be one step ahead of my old self. It will just require a bit of courage and on my case, a bit of self respect, to do it.
Fear isn't anything good... there's so much to lose from being afraid...most of us have been through so much and this things have shapened us to be who we are today...fear of the unknown, fear of being a disappointment, fear of not being able to find love...they're so many fears and it just keeps holding us down and stopping us from moving forward..
I don't know how you must have felt...being afraid of loosing the one you thought was your ride or die...I'm glad you did actually let him go so you'll be able to face your fears and maybe overcome them ..
Thanks for sharing ❤️
Thank you for your comment :)). Yeah, I agree with you that fear holds us down. I am currently experiencing this, to be honest, hahaha. Someone is asking for my consent if we can have a romantic relationship but I always refuse since I fear that this relationship might fail again.
Thank you for checking out my blog :))
I admire your courage friend, most people will not take that bold step you took, instead they continue suffering Even till death do them part. But I for one I always advice people around me (NOTHING IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR PHYSICAL AND MENTAL HEALTH) If you see things going in a direction it shouldn't, be bold enough to approach the other person, if they hurt you more while trying just move on
I really hope and pray the universe will bring you someone more caring, understanding and loving. And when it does, don't channel any hurt towards them instead send a billion love to them every moment you could and should... Thanks for sharing ✌️❤️
Thank you @khingstan, I appreciate your comment. You're indeed correct that our own physical and mental health is more important than anything else.
I am asking the universe to be patient with me, with my slow process. I know there's a perfect time in everything :))
The universe is sure going to hear you, she's awesome and patient too, just keep radiating the right energy 😇😇
Wow... One of the hardest things we have to do in life is telling ourselves the truth. Because most of the time, it is not usually what we want to hear. But that is actually the first step we are to take if we want to be free and be our own individuals.
I'm sure the decision was not an easy one for you to make, but you found the strength. And that is commendable. And as time goes on, you will get stronger and that fear, though it may never go, but it will have no hold over you anymore.
Thank you for sharing this with us.
As they say, the truth hurts. But that's the bitter pill we should take to learn something in life.
The decision isn't easy but I got the courage to face it, and I am thankful for myself for that.
Thank you for checking out my blog :))
Its a pleasure reading through your awesome and heart touching post, I really attest to the fact that the ones responsible for inflicting the pain are the ones that move on with ease and without regrets or pain. Its really disheartening, but thank God you are able to take that bold step and I urge you to continue to walk in the light of your path..
Thank you @ovey10 for appreciating my work. I am having second thoughts if I will publish this one since I am not comfortable sharing my personal life and feeling in public hahaha. But I believe this will help me heal faster :))
Oh Blessed 💜, a lot of times it's like that when you don't actually feel comfortable sharing your personal life publicly I don't think it's a crime if you keep mute about it but the truth is that it teaches and enlightens your listeners, probably for those that are ready to learn and not criticize.
Bt it's very important you don't keep quiet when issues are beginning to bit your imaginations, it is very dangerous to keep quiet, look for a genuine friend and share it with him or her. A problem shared in most cases is half solved, I believe you will stand tall again, infact you will come back to laugh at all of this scenes when it becomes your past. It use to be like this from the beginning but little more energy, confidence and believe will carry you through...
Its. Pleasure🙏🙏💙
Do have a nice day 🙏🙏
I might not fully understand the depths of your pains but I know little of what heart break looks like, most especially when you're the one that loves most. I have learnt a lot from your experience, I happen to be the direct opposite of you in relationships. Little misunderstanding and am already long gone. I know your goodness turned out to hurt you but seriously I want to learn to endure with my partner like you. There's no perfect human being on earth, we customize them to what we want, nevertheless if they refuse change then we have no option than to move on.
I wish I already left him upon seeing the signs. But yeah, sht happens and some life lesson are learned in a hardway
It is going to be fine soon okay? And honestly I respect your endurance. 🥰
It's truly not easy to overcome fear, that's why we all need courage.
Truth is we are all scared of ken thing or the other in life.
Please if you know your relationship with your ex will affect you negatively, I know it's really hard, but it's worth it if you don't text back. You'll definitely meet someone who loves you and appreciated you, that someone may still be your ex and he might be someone else, buy please don't force things that don't want to work.
I hope your examinations results come out beautiful.
This is an awesome post.
Yep, I am keeping myself from not texting this person. Despite the fact that I kinda miss him, I just distract myself with other things.
I am doing good with my academics, thankfully :))
Thank you very much for reading my blog ❤️
Hmmmmm, I feel your pain,I understand everything you stated in this post because I am also in love with someone and I know what love can make one do and your fears are understood, at first it was the fear of anything that has to do with electricity...
I think you have been patient and tolerating a lot and I think your subconsciousness is tired of everything, the relationship you are trying so hard to protect by staying quiet and tolerant is actually affecting you because there is no changes, it is normal for you to take the next step if he doesn't change, he pushed you to overcome your fears...
Him accepting you flaws is indeed a beautiful thing but if you found someone like him before you will surely see someone better than him in the future...
If he loves you deeply he should have made every effort to get you back because he loves you but it's vice versa...
I really understand all your emotions but you just need time to heal and that Is why hive is a good distraction... Weldone dear ❤️...
Take care...
I love this write up..will sure to follow you up for more 🤍
Wow, I really appreciate your long and sensible comment ❤️
Indeed. That's what I am holding on these days to comfort myself.
I can't agree more. No matter what, if he's sincere, he should have done something about it.
Heheh you are indeed correct dear,I really enjoyed reading it ❤️
It's true enough that everyone has their own fears, battles and anxieties to conquer. It doesn't matter how long before you overcome it, but it matters how much effort you put into it to fight it. I'm just afraid that the you become used to living with that fear. I hope you really not.
Buti nalang I am aware with that fear. Because most people don't and they kept on denying it until they get used to it and think it's normal. Laban lang palagi hahaha
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Thank you :)))
You're welcome @cli4d! Have a nice day 😊👍
I am glad you realize that you worth more.
Fear is bad. But inability to face your fears is worse.
We all have our fears, no doubt.
Personally, nothing really mess up with my self esteem some call it pride.
But, hey girl … I wish you heal perfectly well. Mental breakdown can affect a lot. ❤️❤️
Pride isn't bad as long as in moderation hahaha. I wish I also have pride so no one can belittle me.
Thank you for checking out my blog :))
If you are compactible with the person you talked about, then fears of loosing him shouldn't be a problem. What you need do now is apology if the wrong was on your side but if not talk to your partner if the wrong was on his side too. My partner was like that when we had some misunderstanding which is bound to occur in any relationship, I spend less of time chatting with her but I drop messages for her and reply as late as possible. She loved me too but later on I will tell her her wrongs. And we back again. Thanks for sharing.
I kept on trying my best to communicate with him. But it just he keeps on gaslighting and manipulating the situation so I can I will be the one wrong.
I agree that misunderstanding can always occur in relationships and talking about is one of the solutions.
Hi @cli4d
I'm so sorry you are going through this and I understand as I've been in that situation before. You need to realise that it's not worth keeping a relationship that clearly wasn't working for you (if you're honest about it) just for the sake of not being alone. Every person deserves to be able to be heard in a partnership and it seems like your fears of rejection were overpowering your need to stand up for yourself. This happens more than you might believe in relationships but it sounds like you are healing. Take it one day at a time, you'll get there and things will seem ok again.
Thank you @emma-h for your kind words. I agree with you, and maybe they are some things that need to be learned the hard way before you realized something.
I am doing good. There are occasional setbacks but I know that I am okay compared to back then :))
Is this a personal experience? I think we're on the same page. I can relate unfortunately.
Yep, personal experience hahaha kaya it sucks.
The presence of fear in our life is not to make us weak but it makes us a new person, bolder and wiser once we get through to it.
I witnessed a relationship that's like this before. My friend had gone through a lot just to make their relationship still intact but later on I just gave him advices and I'm glad that he listened. Ending their relationship for good. Even if he loves her girl more than himself, he feared of losing her but he has to for his sake also.
After that he's okay now. No more pain.
You're a strong person and I'm truly motivated from you. I wish you all the good luck for coming moment's of your life :)
Thank you @eshacheema786. I truly appreciate your kind comment :))