The battlefield

in OnChainArt4 years ago

This make-up look done by me has a very good title :the battlefield. I wanted to depict the state in which most of us find ourselves to be when we deal with our own emotions, when we deal with people. Especially our loved ones.

battle4.jpg

There is always a struggle in admitting our emotional wounds. I had a very interesting talk with a client yesterday and she told me about a great book about childhood wounds and after I googled a little and read some excerpts I was amazed. I plan to buy this book, I have (sadly) found myself in one of those 5 types of people. I am sure you will too ( the book is by Lise Bourbeau and it's titled Ego. The greatest obstacle in healing the 5 wounds. In my native language Cele cinci rani care ne impiedica sa fim noi insine). There are basically 5 type of wounds =5 types of masks which we wear pretending to be what we are not as a defense mechanism in front of the wound. Amazing.

battle2.jpg

We are torn when we want to reveal our true self and this inner battle turns our relationships into battlefields. We fight for power, control, validation and we fail to admit to ourselves our issues. We avoid talking with our parents about stuff and we bottle it up. You see, our feelings of hatred, anger, almost always come from the bad dynamics of relationships with our parents. Of course that having a hard talk as an adult with your parent can be terrifying, but it's necessary in order to release yourself from all the anguish and stop being what you're not just to make mom or dad happy. We are adults, our body grows, but our inner child often remains trapped due to childhood trauma.

battle3.jpg

Often a traumatised parent will traumatize their children too without even realising, perpetuating a toxic environment lasting through generations. It took me 20 years since my parents divorced to finally make the courage to ask my mother uncomfortable questions. Calmly. Parents are not saints and they should be questioned for their wrong doings. Dad's next lol. Grandma as well.

battle5.jpg

It was liberating to finally hear apologies. I have been waiting 20 years for them! 20 years! It is too personal to reveal more, but I must tell you that things must be confronted, that issues have to be talked through. Things won't change if you don't change. Asking for an apology won't guarantee you that you'll receive it, but at least you've let your parent know they did a mistake and they better try to repair it. Somehow.

A battlefield can turn into a peaceful territory once you start to question yourself why you are how you are and stop blaming others. Answers and solutions come only after introspection and active behaviors towards changing the status quo. Few adults have the courage to go so deep inside. Sadly, too many pass on the battlefield to their children instead of healing themselves for the sake of future generations. Not all people are ready to take off their masks. Not all are ready to breathe the air of peace. I am sure that those who will manage to do the opposite of what they would normally do will alter the course of their life forever. From a battlefield to a comfortable place called "I have the right to be how I want to be".

battle1.jpg

Have a delightful day and toodle loo!

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As always, it is a pleasure to read to you @creativemary .

I agree with you. We carry generational trauma and pain that needs to be healed. Sometimes we have to heal those traumas of many generations to ourselves, so as not to transmit it to our children. Motherhood gave me two things that I never imagined could come without knowing them: the capacity to love madly, a love so deep that I never believed it existed; and the ability to recognize that I must heal for my daughters to grow up healthy. Because there will always be something to heal.

Your makeup describes the subject perfectly. It is beautiful how you paint a certain entropy on one side, and a certain order on the other, divided by the limit.

Hey! I agree with you, thinking of the well being of your children can be the greatest motivator in the world to change for the better. It will help so many people along the way.

That was precisely my point when I had done this make-up. To suggest order vs chaos.

Thank you for your lovely comment and I am sure you are a great mother!

Really beautiful and looks so lovely 😊

Thank you very much!

Oh
You have touched my soul with these words, I can not say more because I was speechless, I only have to say thank you.

Hey! This is a nice comment, thank you! I'm glad it inspired you

I pay attention to the face of sadness, with the theme that is being experienced at this time. and really looks what you have revealed. may always be patient and steadfast in the face of all this.

Hey! Thank you!

You're welcome

What a deep meaning behind your face painting! You touched on admitting our own faults to ourselves, and how difficult that is for us.

It wasn't until I sat down with my father to offer amends for my own behavior over the years that he opened up to me.

His only wish for me and my relationship with my own children, was not to make the same mistakes he did. I have to give myself some credit in this regard, though I make my own mistakes. And there are still times I find myself repeating the same ones.

👏👍🙂

Hey! Oh that is very powerful what you did with your father. Too many adults sit stuck in a wrong pattern of interacting with their parents and never make the courage of having a serious one on one talk with their parent as adults. It is sad to witness a child who is trapped in an adult body and never making the courage to speak their mind calmly. Some just fight with their parents, avoiding to talk the "hot issues". A sort of protecting mechanism. It's doing a lot of harm to personal relationships too to not solve issues with the parents.

I believe that the hard work an adul has to make to fix family issues will be a gift for their own family when they will have kids. A problem isn't solved by jusy mere passing of time, shutting down, being angry or avoid the whole issue by saying " they don't listen anyway", or "they are my parents, I can't hold them responsible" or "they won't get it, why bother" etc etc. Excuses are easily to be found when we have to deal with deep wounds.

I am happy that you've found the strenght of character to have the talk with your dad. It must have felt like a great victory to be able to finally let go to everything and speak your mind.

Solving this issue will help a lot of people to become better individuals and better parents as well when they will have kids of their own.

Thanks for reading this, I appreciate it! 😊🙏

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Wow! Great Mary.

Thank you Emilio!

Very deep thoughts. I believe the real courage for self developing is to face your doped template which is being mostly your parent's behaviors in your childhood. Because when you start to take down that template, you feel empty, nameless, lost or deficient. But then if you stay strong, I think you will re-invent yourself. It is a self that doesn't pose any doctrine on anything. It is a self, with just being as itself... And then I would call it "self being". Not isolated from the rest of the public of-course. It would be more like being a tree in a forest. A tree with it's own idiom.
Thanks again for bringing up such thoughts...

Hey! Oh I really liked your comment, you are right. Often people are too afraid of pulling out their mask created with the help of what society/parents told them to because of the fear of having nothing left after that. Rediscovering yourself is not easy, but it is worth the challenge

beauty, colorful and creative, congrats 👌

Hey! Thank you very much!

Que cool, esto es arte!

What a beautiful makeup I really congratulate you, I love your posts, you have a great personality and talent. 😍

Thank you very much!

This kind of art makes me think of microbiology.