I don't ask for much from my friends, I just don't feel right doing that because I like being independent but also don't want to impose on anyone. I like them to be honest though, engaging and interesting - don't we all want that from our friends? I also want them to feel able to open up to me, to trust me to some degree, and to ask of me when they have a need because I'm generous and helpful and value my friends enough that I'd do a great deal for them.
But I don't ask that they do that, I just like my friends to be like that and if they're not...well, they tend to drift out of my small and valued friends group and into the less important acquaintance group so it becomes a moot point.
A little while back a friend of mine announced she was going to take up a new hobby, making sourdough bread. I thought it was awesome because I love sourdough bread despite only being able to consume small amounts (far too many carbs in bread). Of course, I encouraged her but didn't ask her for any; that's just not my way. But did I want some? Yes.
A few days ago my phone went ping and on checking the message saw it was that friend asking if I was home that afternoon. I was and said so and about an hour later my doorbell went ping pong and there she was. (My doorbell doesn't actually go ping pong but you get the idea.)
She had in hand a little wrapped packet and I knew instinctively what it was. Fuck yeah, it's sourdough bread, is what I wanted to say but I curbed my enthusiasm and let her present me with her gift. I was very grateful, invited her in and over coffee chatted about her sourdough bread-making process and other things.
I have a group around me of like-minded people who grow, farm and make their own things like fresh produce, eggs, meat, jams, honey, relish and preserves, cakes and biscuits to name just a few; these are swapped between us. We exchange services and skills also; my input is fresh-grown produce from my garden and meat I've shot while out hunting: Venison, kangaroo, wild boar and the like.
There's always something for something, a barter system so to speak, but we also give gifts just because we want to, we do nice things for others because they may need it or not; it's called generosity, and that's what my friend did for me the other day with the bread.
It was a sweet gesture and I was very humbled to receive her very first non-trial loaf of sourdough bread which tasted quite spectacular...I mean the small bit I actually had. I'm looking forward to some more which I know will come.
Have you ever operated on a barter system? It's quote rare these days although I now it happens. If you have (or still do) feel free to tell me about it if you'd like to in the comments below.
Design and create your ideal life, tomorrow isn't promised - galenkp
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That bread looks so good I thought for a moment I could smell it lol. Doesn't help that it's getting close to dinner time. We do have a decent group of folks who trade goods and services around here. It is of enormous benefit. I trade eggs of course, but also handspun yarn and handwoven items for meat, fruits and plants. I traded a few handwoven towels for a mini split a/c install, which was a tremendous help. I now have the guys number on speed dial for electrical and a/c issues lol. Works out well most times.
If one can find a nice group of people and trust their products and then generally I think it works really well for sure. Anything that has value or purpose can be traded and I think there should be more of it.
Sourdough bread is really popular here. A lot of guys get into making it apparently! :D
Yeah, same here too...they all have man-buns in their hair.
I do quite a bit with my neighbors. Way back in the old days it was done out on the road amongst us truckers.
Yep I'd have thought you'd be this way inclined, makes sense and is legit.
Barter is a great system, very self sustainable and also encourages everyone to skill up so we don't lose out. It's also a great way to build relationships, an act of kindness that will be returned in another form
That's right. It's something I was brought up with so it's ingrained and we're always looking for ways to make it better, find new people we trust and all.
I regularly barter food with my partner's parents who live near us. When we make some cakes, pastas, lasagna, we always announce that we are going to make something and set aside portions for them.
And also, when they make some lunch that includes stews and cooked dishes or some meat that requires long processing, we always get portions for us. it's almost a daily exchange.
As for other types of exchanges, I remember one, when I made a filing cabinet for a friend who is a dentist, for her office.
Not long after that, I had a free dental treatment.
I like the concept of swapping things for many reasons, not least of which is that people get the chance to show generosity and the willingness to share - these things are lacking in the world.
In our case, it's more about practicality. To avoid cooking in two places (the amount of electricity, water, food), we exchange the food we prepare.
various humanitarian actions, financial aid to those who need it the most, giving extra clothes to those who will use them, helping the elderly, would be sharing from the heart.
Ah ok, not generosity, practicality.
Sourdough bread is big far the best, you can use whole flour which would be better than 00 one, we used to do pizza with the same dough
I agree on the never ask, if it's a good friendship you don't need to ask, gentle acts will come, and too much asks sounds annoying or exploiting
I don't do barter, even if I wanted it's hard because I'm in apartment on upper floor so no space to farm something or keep chickens and such, AFAIK no one of my colleagues does, maybe more outside the city, in the countryside between farmers
Sourdough pizza sounds good, I'm not sure if I've had that but maybe I have and didn't know.
Something we grew up with giving/receiving, it totally exploded during our 2021 riots and covid lockdowns.
You had flour I had eggs, yup WhatsApp became the tool to barter throughout the Amanzimtoti riots and lockdowns.
It has since gone further with clothing, blankets, nappies, medicines, perhaps people now simply give out of good habit into community in much need.
Riots, fires going through many homes, floods, cold no matter the reason, for humans and animals.
When younger food, later between families clothing normally, this has now spilled out into caring communities, you make/meet some great people along the way.
Yep, there's a other be edit if the system for sure, it spreads things around, evens out the items some may have in excess or be lacking. A good system indeed.
No one minds assisting those in need, to barter has been around a long time. It's high crime simply taking, that makes me boil.
Oh yeah, the take ethos is something I don't like much...selfish.
Living here you have to develop 'eyes in the back of your head', keep safe at all times to the best of your ability.
And I find yet another few ways we are similar. I enjoy doing nice things for people and feel a little guilt when they return the favour. It is a nice connection but I pride myself on being low maintenance and don’t demand mental bandwidth.
On the barter system, I have found that it is still alive and well in the context of small town business. With my business, I often exchange services with other businesses like doing a promotion for them in exchange for a round of golf for example. The odd cash deal is good too because I can discount nicely and share a bit of bonus cash with my guys. Plus, you are exchanging services at full retail value so you can stack them up for the value and know you are actually only spending cost of goods sold which is much lower in services.
Man that sour dough looks tasty. I will take your carbs!
It just feels good to do something nice now and then and it's a win-win scenario when one barters things.
There's a lot to be said for the barter system, so many benefits, not least of which is how value of an item/service is perceived and how it's reciprocated. It removes the financial and focuses on the need of the thing or removes "value" altogether making the transaction much nicer.
My brother loves to make sourdough bread. It's not perfect yet, but it's delicious anyway! That looks really good.
In Argentina, bartering was quite common at one time, especially when there was a crisis, but always from an economic point of view. Here, I mainly barter with my neighbour, exchanging homemade products that she makes for others that we make in the family. It's very nice.
I think it can be quite tricky to make sourdough bread well but once it's learned and mastered it gets easier.
I have tried several things made with that dough and they are much better and healthier, except of course for the carbohydrates. It has a different flavour.
My younger sister has been making this bread over the last year. I gave her some bread making set, tools so-to-speak and she promised me a loaf one day. She showed up with one at my birthday last January. It was so beautiful! I got home and cut it, It was totally delish, but for some reason, even though it wasn't burnt at all, the very bottom crust was so hard you could barely cut it with a knife! LOL.... so I cut it off and the rest was perfect. Yum !
I have never bartered for much of anything I can remember. I may have fed a few people that helped my husband with several things and back in the day, I was a pretty darned good cook. I don't know it that counts.
That counts, your cooking skills for services rendered; that's a barter for sure.
As for the base on the sourdough, not sure why that happened but shouldn't have I think. I mean, the bottom crust is always going to be more tough I guess, being on the pan and all, but not able to be cut? Seems excessive.
Excuse me, I have the same global knife, and I want it back.
I need it for now, will return it later.
My back awaits it :p
One must have a back up.
We do have two sets of kitchen knives. The global, and well, whatever the other ones are. The other ones have a brilliant knife holder though.
I have one of those magnetic boards for storage, it works really well.
But why not stabbed dude?
There's something called "trueque" here. It describes a direct barter, where you give something and receive something more or less equivalent. It works somewhat fine, but being an idealist stemmed on Anarchism theories and on top of that privileged here, I prefer to give without expectations of receiving. I'm not sure if it's a a universal law, but whenever I do that, things come back to me tenfold. Not only in money, but in many different ways. Support, products, conversations, hugs, it always seems that the more I give, the more I receive.
It's a community thing. Like it's supposed to be. It's a way to thrive all together, taking care of each other.
That bread looks really good. She got the right moment to throw it in the oven, it broke nicely. If she'd like to improve it - higher starting temperature, steaming if possible (if not, sprinkling water on the top just before throwing it in), so she gets a little more caramelization of the starches. High temperature baking gives the bread a lot more aroma and flavor, especially when letting it sit for a couple of days. I'm doing experiments on that these days, as a new challenge for the baker boys, so they don't fall asleep in routine.
Giving without the expectation of receiving is great for "giving" for sure. We like to foster a healthy barter system to share resources and skills within a group of like-minded people with the object being self-reliance within the group. of course, things/services are given with nothing in return as well.
I used to be able to help my friend with computer stuff and then he would help me with home stuff. Then he became friends with a guy who has more time on his hands right now and he talks to him most of the time about computer stuff. I'd be more than happy to help, but it's just the way it is. I try to not ask him as much building stuff, because it feels lopsided to me now.
Yeah, lopsided bartering doesn't work.
He might not feel the same way about it, but I do, so I don't want to take advantage...
Exactly.
Totally get that you value honest, meaningful connections without forcing expectations. It’s a great way to keep your circle genuine and strong. I really respect that.
Yep, small circles of friends often relates to better friends and less stress and hassles.
It's the little things that makes the difference.. knowing when to come in without been asked and also reciprocating kindness. She did well bring some of it for you.
Indeed, I agree.
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STOPYes, the barter system is good. The bread was good, not so much with coffee, it's not that sort of bread.