I think the main things with it that I'm hating now are:
The god-awful sex scene.
There are two chapters that are zap quick and feel strange and cut-off even to me, as the writer re-reading. I can't imagine how a normal reader would feel about that.
Other than that... I guess it's okay! But I really work myself up sometimes, that's all...🙃
I don't remember the sex scene 🙃 but I never remember battle scenes either, mostly because I speed-read or skim anything too graphic for me. "Moonfall" is a great story. Don't sell yourself short!
It wasn't on my NaNoWriMo draft -- I wrote it, but refused to post it. OMG I JUST READ IT AGAIN AND I'M LAUGHING.
It's really terrible.
That's just the end of the scene -- the beginning is so much worse.
“I’ve been disappointed since this afternoon and everything has horrified me sinceabout then too, but I understand,” she murmured, closing her eyes and waiting for the mead to slowly disappear. “I bet you my aura is tasty, though. Can you taste auras?” She giggled.He paused for a moment, and then whispered, “I can taste you…”
I CAN TASTE YOU. really.
That's just the end... the beginning of the scene is even worse.
It won't let me edit my comment... so... replying to myself.
That's just the end of the scene -- the beginning is so much worse.
“I’ve been disappointed since this afternoon and everything has horrified me since about then too, but I understand,” she murmured, closing her eyes and waiting for the mead to slowly disappear. “I bet you my aura is tasty, though. Can you taste auras?” She giggled. He paused for a moment, and then whispered, “I can taste you…”
I think the main things with it that I'm hating now are:
The god-awful sex scene.
There are two chapters that are zap quick and feel strange and cut-off even to me, as the writer re-reading. I can't imagine how a normal reader would feel about that.
Other than that... I guess it's okay! But I really work myself up sometimes, that's all...🙃
I don't remember the sex scene 🙃 but I never remember battle scenes either, mostly because I speed-read or skim anything too graphic for me. "Moonfall" is a great story. Don't sell yourself short!
It wasn't on my NaNoWriMo draft -- I wrote it, but refused to post it. OMG I JUST READ IT AGAIN AND I'M LAUGHING.
It's really terrible.
That's just the end of the scene -- the beginning is so much worse.
I CAN TASTE YOU. really.
That's just the end... the beginning of the scene is even worse.
It won't let me edit my comment... so... replying to myself.
That's just the end of the scene -- the beginning is so much worse.
I CAN TASTE YOU. really.
Both excerpts are really much, much better than you think. :)