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RE: A Case of the Pumpkins -- a five-minute #freewrite

in Freewriters • 5 years ago (edited)

Yes, I did publish it... and you did review it... and that whole kerfuffle happened.

No-one can find the original draft unless they go through blockchain records and see my edits: I deleted the content off every post. But I'm just embarrassed by the book.

Doesn't matter in the greater scheme of things I guess.

5 years ago in Freewriters by
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     5 years ago  

    I'm amazed that you're so embarrassed by this story! I love so many things about it!

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       5 years ago  

      I think the main things with it that I'm hating now are:

      The god-awful sex scene.
      There are two chapters that are zap quick and feel strange and cut-off even to me, as the writer re-reading. I can't imagine how a normal reader would feel about that.

      Other than that... I guess it's okay! But I really work myself up sometimes, that's all...🙃

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         5 years ago  

        I don't remember the sex scene 🙃 but I never remember battle scenes either, mostly because I speed-read or skim anything too graphic for me. "Moonfall" is a great story. Don't sell yourself short!

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           5 years ago (edited) 

          It wasn't on my NaNoWriMo draft -- I wrote it, but refused to post it. OMG I JUST READ IT AGAIN AND I'M LAUGHING.

          It's really terrible.

          hahaha.PNG

          That's just the end of the scene -- the beginning is so much worse.

          “I’ve been disappointed since this afternoon and everything has horrified me sinceabout then too, but I understand,” she murmured, closing her eyes and waiting for the mead to slowly disappear. “I bet you my aura is tasty, though. Can you taste auras?” She giggled.He paused for a moment, and then whispered, “I can taste you…”

          I CAN TASTE YOU. really.
          That's just the end... the beginning of the scene is even worse.

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             5 years ago (edited) 

            It won't let me edit my comment... so... replying to myself.

            That's just the end of the scene -- the beginning is so much worse.

            “I’ve been disappointed since this afternoon and everything has horrified me since about then too, but I understand,” she murmured, closing her eyes and waiting for the mead to slowly disappear. “I bet you my aura is tasty, though. Can you taste auras?” She giggled. He paused for a moment, and then whispered, “I can taste you…”

            I CAN TASTE YOU. really.

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               5 years ago  

              Both excerpts are really much, much better than you think. :)

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