I once was a very prideful human being but at the same time a people-pleaser. Before I became this person that wanted to see the good things in both life and people all I wanted was to fit in. The sense of belonging to society was my main goal. And just earlier this year I found out that my behavior was caused by my pain.
I was a wounded 13-year-old who wanted approval from everyone. I always did things that I thought people would like me more. I became rebellious of my parents and didn't want anything to do with their advice. I became someone I never thought I would. Because of my pain, I cost pain to others too. Hurt people, hurt people.
In my introduction I said that I was "born different" and I realized that I'm not after all. There are a lot of teenagers like me. Searching for approval.
I met a person who I didn't expect was going to be close to my heart. That person made me feel like I didn't need to do things for them to like me. And as an immature teenager, I then thought that "oh this love". I searched for love in the wrong places and got heartbroken. Instead of wanting this "love" for me to feel something, I ended up getting hurt again. I never thought that I would share this story with anyone but here I am sharing it. I thought I "fell in love" and yes I do consider what I had with that person as love, but not in a romantic way. I guess what I had with that person was a deep friendship and I ended up mistakenly assuming that it was something else. For two years I have been chasing that person all around and thinking that this was really "true love"
When I faced Jesus and surrender my all to Him I realized that the love I have been searching for was there with me all along. From the very start, He was there with me. My family was there for me. And I felt so guilty for having to think that no one loved me, no one valued me. He was and is my first love. He sees my pain and he doesn't belittle it. He knew that I was hurting and he was there trying to tell me that I mattered. That I was more valuable than anything else. He sent his son for me to be saved.
All I did was please other people and thought that they were the ones I needed approval from. But, no. The one who deserves my praise was him. I didn't need to get approval from anybody else but him.
His timing is perfect. Just when I thought I was nothing in this world he made me realize that I was someone. He turned me, a nobody into somebody.
I found people that cared and loved me. The people who were there from the very start. I just didn't look close enough. My family. I found my best friend, someone who I consider as my older sister @jongcl. When I thought that no one could understand me she was there. She made me realize that I wasn't who I think I was. I consider her as my life mentor. The person who I always run to when something goes wrong. I never knew that the circle of friends I needed was there from the very beginning. My tita's are the people I know will give the best advice. @jongcl, @sassycebuana,@eveeventure, @morenatravels . They are the people I know who I can always count on. I'm so glad and blessed to have such cool tita's. My family are the people who gave so much impact on my life I couldn't ask for more.
As I said before, God will use all kinds of things to reach out to us. And in my story, he used my hurts, problems, and people to let me know that he is there. I now know that for every problem I have, he is the solution.
The moral of the story is that there are people out there who love you and you may not realize who they are now, but they're there and most importantly He loves you very dearly. The only approval you need is from our Heavenly Father. And for me, the best things in life are the unexpected ones.
Kcwonders is an easy-going teenager who loves to write about the things she wonders about. In her blog, she shares her life experiences, and the lessons she learned along the way. Her goal is to spread positivity, motivation and hopefully inspire you guys on this platform. Reading and writing is something she loves to do on a daily just next to annoying her little sister.
If you love what she writes, it will mean much to her if you leave some love, upvote, and leave a comment. She loves to read your feedback's on her posts. You surely won't regret reading her content ❤
There is a lot of things going on in your life, and asking and thriving for approval is not bad at all. We thrive for approval because it is in our nature to seek for it. Being born differently is a gift. Our peculiarity and weirdness is what keeps us afloat from everyone, and being unique is good thing. There is a beauty in being different. As a read along your post, I get a vibes that you found yourself and continue thriving and building your story. Keep creating wonders KC (@kcwonders). Enjoy some !PIZZA
!discovery 20
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Thank you so much!!!<3
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