Growing up my father told me that religion is a priority. I was told that any man who lived without believing in God would always amount to nothing in the open sea of life. He convinced me and my brothers to always pray and go to church. I clearly remember how he always stressed the topic of going to church. How he always woke us up early in the morning to go to church, how he scolded us whenever we felt lazy to go. Going to church was really a nice experience, especially when I am with brothers. It was never boring with them.
When I got into the university at the age of 17, I made sure I attended church every Sunday. In fact I always felt empty whenever I was unable to attend. That culture of going to church no matter what was now part of my body and mind. In my second year in the university, I got into a relationship and it made everything worse, my girlfriend would always drag me to church even in the evening, in fact she turned me into a dedicated catholic. I got so Close to church but I was miles away from God.
In my third year in the university, I lost my roommate to a gun attack and it changed my life forever. After that moment I realized that not everyone that goes to church matters in life. My girlfriend left me after the ugly experience, sending me into a deep ocean of depression where I gave up on everything. All my friends deserted me, even the ones I made in church. I almost gave up on life itself. But then I began to understand that a man has only two companions in this life, himself and his chi(personal God). Last week I went to church with my family for the first time in a year and I had a massive panic attack. I felt so troubled the moment I stepped foot into the auditorium. The noise from the praise and worship triggered the attack, so I had to leave immediately.
In my country today, religion and tribalism is the mother giving birth to separation, corruption, hatred, tribal and religious wars, amongst every single community in Nigeria. Religious leaders have exploited the God loving nature of Nigerians, using religious black mail to build factions in the society. In fact most big and popular churches in Nigeria use churches as businesses, generating billions of naira per year, buh the communities around still toil and suffer. They build schools with people's tithe and offerings, charging and collecting millions as school fees from those same church members who toil and suffer to make ends meet. It's really quite unfortunate.
I know you're thinking I have changed my mind totally about God🤔😂. But you're wrong because I do believe in him even better than before. I just don't believe in the concept of going to church without a purpose. And that's why I have made up my mind to groom my children with this wisdom I have gathered through ugly and painful experiences.