I was below the age of 10. I must have been 7 or 6, I can't be precise. My mum's line of business demanded that she does a lot of travelling. Most times, when she travels, I and my elder sister would be deposited in our grandparents compound, under the care of our grandmum and granddad, Mmamma and Papa as they were fondly called.
There were elder but equally young cousins staying with Mmamma and Papa as well. At the point of the incident narrated here, it was just two of them. Two female cousins to be precise. If you add my sister to these two, then we can say that we had 3 females and one naive boy who happened to be the youngest, staying with Mmamma and Papa.
My elder sister is barely two years older than I. One of my other two cousins was also few years older than my sister. The eldest of us was older than my sister with nothing less than five years.
The eldest was in her early teens and was already battling with puberty and the vices that do come with it. The second one was closely tagging along. They had a lot of secrets they will rather not share with my sister and me. Not only because we were young, but because we were too innocent to normalize some frivolities. Some of the things spoken with much levity today, was highly sacrilegious to us; thanks to the way I and my sister were bred. Mum was and is still a staunch disciplinarian.
You dare not mention, crushing on someone, boyfriend/girlfriend or any romantically linked phrases to us. It will quake the life out of us. we were taught to see those things as the highest height of evil. Some antics like; taking some naira notes from older people's pockets or purse, hoarding of foods and provisions from the eyes of parents/guardians etc, which is common among kids, was very far from us. So those our two cousins alienated us from their big girls convos. It didn't matter to us, especially to me, I was too self absorb to even notice.
Then, it happened that the younger of my two older cousins travelled to her hometown. Life must have been lonely for our eldest cousin, so she started becoming nice to us in the way she knows best. She started telling tales of my cousin that travelled. What she mentioned happened to be among the list of things we blacklisted. She said something about boyfriend, hugs, stealing and other related stuffs. She said that my cousin that travelled was entangled with those vices.
You know there is always this cold war between relatives. So I'm certain that she wanted to be in our good book against our other cousin. It could be due to the fact that we were obviously closer to the one that travelled than her. But she missed it. There are heights of hypocrisy our then pure and innocent hearts couldn't bear.
When my travelled cousin returned back from her jouney, we were once again deserted, our eldest cousin was all over her, hence their big girls conversation continued. But at some intervals, she'll sneak to come and give us updates on her partner's supposed antics. Even as kids, we could see through her hypocrisy. We knew that she was dangerous. I and my sister had a meeting where we agreed to spill the beans. The truth is we did that because we were closer to the person she was gossiping about. We liked her more.
After narrating the whole gossips to to her, as we agreed. She went ahead to confront our eldest cousin, the gossipmonger. That must have been the first time I saw the epitome of black lie. She totally denied with a lot of aggression. Grandma must have travelled, because I can't remember her character at the scenes of all the drama that ensued. What I do remember is that when the dust was raised by our eldest cousin, Grandpa was forced to come out. "What's happening"; he enquired.
I was bullied from speaking, our eldest cousin continued with her rantings, she swore by every possible thing on earth. She said that she knows nothing of what I and my sister spoke of.
I still remember her making this statement in self defence;
"If I ever said that, may I be knocked down by a vehicle any time I step out to the road"
Grandpa couldn't say a thing. He must have shared in my confusion. The old man gently dragged himself back to his closet.
I was shocked to my marrow. well she's close to forty now and she hasn't been knocked by even the breeze. Not that I wanted any of those things she uttered to come upon her. Though I was pained, I've caught myself praying severally that no evil befalls her. I was so pained so I had to do those prayers to be sure that I have forgiven her.
To hide their faces, as though they could delete the truth from our brains, we were threatened to apologise. Our cousin we were trying to save, mentioned that the supposed boyfriend is her paternal relative. Yet she couldn't reason that she didn't mention this guy to us, and there's no way we could have known about him, except the person she confided in did mentioned him to us. I'll let that slip for now. I know that it is not everyone that can use their brains.
She added that she'll invite the boy to come and hurt us except we tender an apology. We were given somewhat of an oath to recite.
It was something of this nature;
"I'm a mere talkative person. I confess before everyone today that there's no iota of truth in what I said. I lied. I am a liar. Please forgive my lying lips. I will never repeat such lies again. So help me God."
My sister quickly recited it. Afterwards she looked at me, scared of what will happen to me if I disobeyed. She begged me with tears to just recite those words, I tried to but I couldn't move past few words before bursting into a loud cry.
"But she said it, but she said said it....." I kept shouting. My sister cried more, she became even scared for me, but I didn't care. I was prepared for their worst. Luckily for me, they were nothing but empty barrels.
That was a defining moment for me.
That experience taught me that;
I'm naturally staunch, fearless and bold. I'm never scared to say my mind and I hate intimidations with so much passion. I fight with words with much gusto, especially when I know that I'm right. People mistake that for loving arguments. Maybe they're right, but that was my first moment of self realization. As helpless as I was, without any sense of security or protection, two older persons intimidations and a pleading elder sister couldn't get me to cower.
Experiences might have shaped me a bit, but I'm still very much like that.
Now tell me, ever had a childhood experience that became a defining moment for you?
You can share, I'll love to read.
Hello @mmykel! I laughed at some parts of your post but really admire your stand against any form of intimidation. I too detest intimidation and bullying.
Your gossipy cousin almost set your granny's house on fire that day. What a character! 😄Thankfully, some of the things we say don't come to pass or else what she wished upon herself could have happened.
The positive side to this story is, it helped you discover who you are - staunch, fearless and bold! I like that!
I believe that every writer, needs a reader like @kemmyb. I used to tell you that your ability to grasp and interprete write-ups is only equal to that of very few people I know of, well nothing has changed.
I'm always looking forward to your comments.
Thanks for stopping by.
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I loved reading this!
You brought us into your world, like every good writer can do! And you had me feeling the salaciousness of the gossip-telling, the confusion at the moment the lies were brought forth, and the fear when your sister started spilling tears.
I had to giggle when you said - your cousin was 40 now and not even a breeze knocked her over. LOLOL
well - I wonder how she feels now? If she ever thinks about the damage done - or the lies told or how she intimidated?
I'm not sure - but... I do know this...
you stood your ground that day and it indeed shaped you! :)
great post!
Thank you @dreemsteem for kind words. This made my day. She might not remember. I'm glad that I was able to forgive her. People most times don't realise what damage their little action can do to others.
it happens so quickly and sometimes is SUCH a big deal to us - and means nothing to them!
funny how that happens more often than we realize!!