The Insane Hat

I know a man who wears an insane hat. It comes out once a year during the weekend Biker festival.

I know an insane hat.

When I say, insane hat, I mean a hat that is insane. The hat talks to me and says stupid things to me, all day long.

"Hello Mr." said the hat

Of course, when the hat starts talking to you, you have to respond. Be polite and all that.

"Hello hat," I replied. "I hope it rains today."

"I don't," said that hat. "I'll get wet."

"I'll find shelter," I replied. "Don't worry."

"Who, in their right mind, hopes for rain?"

"We haven't had rain for a long time," I replied. "it'll be nice to freshen the air "

"It rained two weeks ago," said the hat.

"That's a long time ago," I said.

"Two weeks without rain is not a long time," said the hat. "I knew I shouldn't have come to England."

"Where were you before?" I asked.

"Somewhere else. Somewhere, where it didn't rain very much."

"Maybe, it'll say where you come from on the label."

I took the hat to read the label.

A passer by looked at me.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm looking to see where this hat comes from," I replied.

"Somewhere, where it doesn't rain much," replied the passer by.

"How did you know?" I asked.

"I had a hat too. It wouldn't shut up "

"Where is the hat now?" I asked

"I put it in a charity shop."

"You left your talking hat?" I asked.

"Yes, it was driving me crazy. I thought it would be best to let go."

"Don't you feel guilty about the hat? Just disposing it like that?"

"I didn't want to, but I was told it would be for the best. They were right. You should get rid of your hat too."

"I don't think I can," I said. "It talks way too much, but that wouldn't be a nice thing to do."

Then, to my surprise, she took the hat from my head. She then threw it onto the road in front of a car.

"Let's go and get a coffee."

"Ok, I replied."

The coffee was nice. Suddenly, everything made sense.

Freewrite task, prompt by @mariannewest

Insane Hat