"You're always writing, writing things that makes no sense, writing rubbish that people don't care about. Do you think your writing will take you anywhere? what am I even saying?
Who cares about your useless, uninteresting stories and write-ups anyway?"
Those words broke me 😣 and somehow still breaking me 😔.
I wish I could explain how I feel whenever I try to write, I wish I could wake up one day and realize the feelings are all gone.
I wish I could forget it and move on like it didn't happen but I'm not built that way, I'm not one to forget pain easily.
My name is Deborah, a very emotional fellow.
A few years ago, I was obsessed with writing and couldn't go a day without scribbling things on paper, whether it makes sense or not.
Wherever I went to (except the market), you'd always find me with a pen and book.
I also didn't hesitate to show my friends my write-ups, I was always happy to.
I wasn't on social media or had a phone yet so basically, I wrote for myself.
I had diaries and daily journals, I wrote every single thing that happened to me and around, I felt a certain kind of happiness doing that especially when I go back to read things I wrote earlier but today, all that is no more.
Today, I find it hard to get words together on paper, before I come up with a topic it takes days and when I finally find a convenient topic, it takes more than a week to write (like this one) and I currently have lots of unfinished writings. Why??
Maybe it's because of people I called friends or maybe it's just me.... I'll let you figure that out yourself 😌....
You're always writing, writing things that doesn't make sense, writing rubbish that people don't care about. Do you think your writing will take you anywhere? what am I even saying? who cares about your useless, uninteresting stories and write-ups anyway?
My best friend said this to my face some years back, I was stunned. How? why?
"Mariam, do you think so too?" I had to ask just to be sure, "yes! we only read it sometimes, sometimes we don't, I wonder why you bother sef as if you're the only one with brain that can hold pen. Just throw them away cause you'll never be worth it"
We had an argument and it escalated quickly.
I went back home, gathered everything I ever wrote, dairy, journals, stories and burnt them with tears, swearing I won't write things like that anymore.
Till now I still think that's the most horrible day of my life, the day I lost one of my passions.
One thing I didn't realize then is "I could prove them wrong" but I was always sucking up to people, seeking for their commendation, attention and acting according to their words. Even when my parents disciplined me for it, I didn't stop.
Looking back has made me realize how much I've missed, I stopped writing because two of God's creation said I wasn't worth it? or cause I believed I wasn't?
I'm a fan of Mark Manson and I read one of his articles some time back that encouraged me to start writing again, aside from my elder brother that's constantly on my neck 🙄. Well, that's a story for another day 😌
Even when the "friends" apologized and bought me a dairy, I still couldn't get their words off my head.
But this, I'll be sure to pull out of it.
Going through my Hive feed everyday, I see amazing people that inspires me, for now I'll make sure to write on random topics till i find my niche ☺️
My name is Deborah, still an emotional fellow but not a fool. We should learn to be kind and consider other people's feelings before saying certain things, verbal abuse causes emotional damage.
Don't say hurtful things to people, it lasts more than you can imagine, remember .... People would never forget how you made them feel. Recently a lady twitted she was shot in a train and some people made vile comments instead of calling for the necessary help, she died the next day, imagine getting those kind of thoughts before your death. Please emotional health matters ❤️
Thanks for reading till the end ☺️❤️
Love ❤️ and light 🕯️
Wow. Those were terrible words said to you. I felt relieved seeing that they later apologized with a thoughtful piece offering.
Kudos to you sticking to your passion again.
Thanks a lot😊
Congratulations @orah14! You have completed the following achievement on the Hive blockchain and have been rewarded with new badge(s):
Your next target is to reach 100 upvotes.
You can view your badges on your board and compare yourself to others in the Ranking
If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word
STOPCheck out the last post from @hivebuzz:
Support the HiveBuzz project. Vote for our proposal!