Middle of the road in a little town of six thousand called Marion, about a five hour drive inland from the Virginia coast. Pura and I stopped there for breakfast when we left Virginia Beach a few weeks ago en route back to Tennessee. Had it not been for a pair'0 jokes that got served at breakfast that morning, I'd be writing about something else right now.
We took off to Virginia Beach, Virginia the week of St. Patrick's Day, an eight hour drive from East Tennessee. Neither of us have been there and our lease expires here in August, we're shopping for a new roof to lease as you read this. We didn't plan on being back in the states this long, thought for sure planes would be in the air by now—so much for that!
Virgina Beach, Va. March 2021
Street art—the closest we got to beach life. From the moment we stepped foot in Virginia until the drive home three days later with windshield wipers flying at max speed left and right, it poured rain and never let up.
We booked our Air B&B stay about a month prior, no way we could've predicted the weather. We'll be relocating this summer and looking forward to getting back to a coastal city, figured we'd give Virginia Beach a shot. It's a nice place to visit. We're gonna check out Treasure Island, Florida, next month.
I suck at parking
But it was right on the beach! Only the boardwalk separated our balcony from the sand.
The empty boardwalk and empty sand. That was the view from our balcony. We were looking forward to some east coast sunrises—so much for that! So we stayed in, ordered take-out and stuff, and I rolled around in bed with a 10 for two days.
Watching Law & Order marathons, of course!
It had a little kitchenette, those are convenient. A refrigerator, too, we put our waters and leftovers in there. What else? Coffee pot! We brewed coffee in the coffee pot and washed our dishwasher safe coffee cups in the dishwasher.
London didn't have coffee pots in the room—instant coffee. Believe that shit?! Instant coffee. Yeah, right! They drink tea for breakfast in England, we weren't made aware of that until we woke up there the first morning. If you want good coffee in England, go to a Turkish market. I'm doing this because I ran outta shit to say about the Air B&B stay.
It had a toilet (the stay), I've never stayed somewhere that didn't. Probably three or four ceiling lights complete with light switches. A couch, dining table with four chairs, two wall-mount TV's and a roof that kept us out of the rain.
But we stopped at a joint called I don't remember in Marion, Virginia, for breakfast on our way home. No idea what it's called. Can't tell you what I ordered, either, nor what Pura ordered, and I never considered pictures because I didn't plan on documenting the trip. Refrigerator, rain.. not much to write about. That's when it got funny. I snapped this shot of the town theater across the street.
So now it's Monday, 17th of March, St. Patrick's Day, we stopped for breakfast. Both of us ordered a water, I think I ordered a coffee for myself as well. That's right, I did! They didn't have creamer. The restaurant staff is decked out in green with green skirts, hats, bright green beads around their necks, everyone's dressed appropriately for St. Patrick's Day—our waitress included.
"Ya'all ready to order?"
I looked across the table to Pura because I never order before her. "What'll ya have darlin?" She smiled while pointing at a green logo on Puras sweatshirt, "ok, you got your green on today, know what'yer havin?"
Pura ordered the such n such something salad probably, I don't remember, but whatever she ordered, it came with a bread and butter pickle. I linked that in case anyone tuned in is seeing bread and butter pickle for the first time. I thought everyone knew what those were and I never suspected a 5-star chef (my wife) who manages produce orders for a major food chain and everything else she loves about food not to know what a bread and butter pickle is—we call these Pura moments:
The bread and butter pickle, so does that mean the bread's already buttered?
Genuinely confused and compulsory, I pulled my eyes from the menu I was zeroed in on and stared across the table at her with every uncertain facial expression I could come up with on short notice as though a St. Patrick's Day fart suddenly infiltrated the restaurant. Our waitress, head to toe dressed in green didn't know what to say, she hesitated. Pura then proceeded with both hands to mimick the motion of spreading butter across a piece of bread:
I would like the bread and the pickle, please, just no butter if that's ok?
That's how long it took me to realize she has no idea wtf a bread and butter pickle is
'You realize it's a pickle, right? Bread and butter pickle is a flavored pickle, not a piece of bread.' She pointed back to the menu and turned toward the waitress lookin like a deer in headlights:
So this is a typo then?
Laugh Out Loud! I could no longer contain myself, I laughed out loud. Once I laughed, the waitress got the internal green light and also laughed out loud, Pura had no idea what we were laughing about. I explained in more detail how it's not bread at all and it's actually a flavored pickle, going as far to show her an image of a jar online from the store she manages in that stores brand name. We still laugh about that one. Alright, my turn.
"And how's about you, hun, know what you're havin? I see'yer purdy ladies got her green on but I don't see any on you, where's your green?" What I said was:
My eyeballs have covered me my whole life.
What I meant by that was, I have green eyes, the greenest green eyes you'll ever see—super green. They're not hazel or kinda green with other kinda green colors, either, they're green-green. Fun fact: Only 2% of the worlds population has green eyes.
I've used that one my whole life. If I wasn't wearing green on St. Patrick's Day and got called out for it, I'd always point to my eyes, "look! My eyes are green." But when I told the waitress that, she looked at me as though I spoke a foreign language. Either that or she's never heard someone use their green eyes to avoid being pinched on St. Patrick's Day. Something. Has to be that, no way she didn't hear me, she's standing less than two feet away. In her startled yet equally concerned voice, "excuse me?!?" I repeated myself.
My eyeballs have me covered my whole life.
That's how long it took Pura to hear wtf the waitress thought I said
Pura: LOL!!! "You know it doesn't sound like you're saying 'eyeballs' right??"
That's when I realized what the waitress thought I said, 'ha-ha-ha-ha!!!!' Oh fuck that's funny! Once Pura and I were both laughing out loud at myself, our waitress got the internal green light and hysterically laughed louder than both of us. All three of us laughed our asses off that morning all before she put in our order. She thought I said 'My balls have covered me my whole life.' ..Twice:
My eyeballs have covered me my whole life.
hahahahahaha, you are quite the story teller.
So your
ballseyeballs are green, cool 2% er.I just don't buy that pura had no idea what bread and butter pickles are, really? I guess she's from California?
So moving more coastal, yea I can see that being an advantage, I could never move too far from the coast, I'm a Jersey girl, love the ocean.
Bummer your trip got rained out, but at least you had that forgettable breakfast on your way home.
Enjoy the day!!
Well if it isn't my favorite farmer blockchain grandma, good afternoon ma'am.
And we've been together now since 2014, I had no idea. How funny is that? I'm glad you think I'm a good story teller, thank you, but all I had to do was repeat that one. Laugh Out Loud.
What's goin on at the farm this week?
Yes, coastal. Her work keeps making her these crazy offers though and it's beginning to make her question leaving. 'Don't trip, they'll transfer you wherever you wanna go and offer you the same promotions there.'
iheart seafood @farm-mom, "guilty!" You can't get any here. And as much I enjoy pedaling these trails, I prefer boardwalks. "Guilty."
Nice, come up with any ideas for that Hive sticker?
I have not.
It's simple, just the logo, "hive.blog" I think. That's it, that simple. I could tell you why I didn't work on it yesterday and might be able to today.
Thanks for the push.
sounds good, something like this? I think 2.75 x 2.75 inches is a good size
Something exactly like that. Even though I knew it would only take a few minutes to throw together, I still haven't had time to turn on the iPad. Thanks for the homework, is 2.75 normal?
You don't actually print them, right? Got any good leads? I see business card ads regularly, now that I've been mentioning stickers, Amazon and everyone else should be blowing me up and minute with sticker printing deals.
I just chose 2.75 x 2.75 that way if you wanted to buy your own 8.5 x 11 sticker paper you could print a sheet of 3 x 4 stickers on your own at home if you wanted to. So, yes, you could technically print them on your own if you wanted to.
But as far as companies that do it there are many of them but I have never ordered any custom stickers so I am not sure who offers the best prices, this place for example looks like charges about 26 cents per sticker https://bit.ly/3djbNFa
You could probably also go to like a Fedex/kinkos and give them the file and they could print them for you on the spot (not sure how much they would charge)
If you are cool with this design let me know and I will just put them on my website in a few different sizes.
Now checking it against my database of known compromised or unsafe domains.. you'll see another reply if it's in there. If not, it's likely safe to open.
For more information about risks involved in shortened URLs, read this article by Forbes.
This auto-reply (on posts) is throttled 1/10 to reduce spam but if it still bothers you reply "OFF FURL" (I'll still check previews against my database). In alternative reply REVIEW for manual review and whitelisting.
The coolest part about that design is I didn't design—perfect. Have you seen anyone on here printing stickers?
I'm gonna research that now, you lit enough fire. 2.75x2.75 is about exactly what I was thinking.
What's your website? So I go there and what? I'm so not tech savvy. I'm assuming when I find someone to print them I just send them to your website and they use the design from there? Am I overthinking this?
You're the best!
ah ok ;)
I am just putting the files on my website so you have an easy place to download them from and do whatever you want with them. Basically just save the image files to your pc and you can either print them yourself or upload them to a business website that will print them for you.
Here is the link to my website where the image files are
https://dksartwork.com/hive-blockchain-promotional-stickers/
Good luck!
Oh my Lordy Lord! 😂 the pickle part got me though. We DO NOT have BREAD AND BUTTER PICKLES. In South Africa. That must be a purely American thing!
The only thing that woulda been better then is a double date with you guys so the fellas could watch the ladies team up against the waitress.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm feeling a little low on my Vitamin C.
💖
Ha ha ha! I think I have a remedy for that!! 😜 BUT DID YOU GIVE PURA MY POACHED PEARS RECIPE??? Now that is the question!
Ooh, pears! That reminds me!
I plead the fifth.
Dammit! I love pears.. wait, what? Because 'American thing' worked with the pickles.
Lol Ball I'm thinking both literally and figuratively meaning*. I know why the waitress laughed, haha maybe she had the same thinking as mine
It's always fun to read your article :)
The room warm and nice view from balcony :))
Have I told you lately how much I appreciate these sweet responses of yours? Well, I do.
Funny, right? I didn't hear it when I said, of course. I knew what I was saying. Still didn't hear it the second time. I'm glad Pura was there or I would've never known what drew that cautiously terrified look from the waitress that morning.
💖
I've read this article and it's so...picaresque. I felt like actually being inside the story, living these things as you wrote them.
Great narrative and nice photography! I like the one with the bed in the room and the window close to the shore. What a feeling! I miss the seaside so much!
Thank you for offering such content, @dandays!
My pleasure regenerette! My autocorrect always wants to spLeL 'regenerate.'
Have a I got a deal for you, ready? I'll keep trying to make sure each piece is better than the last if you keep saying nice things, deal?
💖 Thank you.
I'll come by from time to time.
next week I might try my spine recovery with some AI therapy, but I'll visit :)
Improve the content anyway. One day, when I'm rich, I might reward you with a trip or something nice.
Hugggs!
With all that rain, good thing you could take shelter under your massive balls, that covered you your whole life.
Awe, this is so sweet. You didn't skim either!
.
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.
.
.
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I'm way down here
Watch that little fella when He gets back up his arm is Fugged. Bent backwards.
Good thing they bounce. Kids, that is.
What do you mean you don't know we drink tea for breakfast??!!! We drink tea for breakfast,for elevenses, for lunch, for tea!!!!
And that bread and butter pickle thing, nah, it must be an American thing, never heard of it!!!
I got that from Zoed, too, she's from South Africa. I'm pretty sure Pura's the only American never heard them.
Oh we absolutely know it's always tea time, we were just in the middle of coffee withdrawals when we learned coffee wasn't an option in the first hotel. Or the next.. or the stay, or the next stay. Funny. I love cultural adjustments, they're exciting and fun and can't be anticipated.
So we adjusted like you're supposed to when you're a guest in someone's house and traveled with a French press we got from Morrison's. Problem solved!
Sure wish it was tea time again.
A pair, eh? Well good to know you have 2 good of somethin'...😜
The pickle thing is definitely a good laugh, sorry Pura! Though I'm much more of a Kosher Dill gal, myself.
Well at least you said pair and not pear.
Can you believe she never heard of them? I been with her like 5 years now, totally threw me for a loop—curve ball.
Mwah Plants!
No, pear is for breakfast this morning. On sprouted grain toast with sunbutter. 😜
So you're on the move again looking for a place to possibly park your hat for a while. That's right, you don't wear hats.
Bread and butter pickles are the worst of the worst pickle on the planet, it's no wonder Pura never heard of them, the girl has good taste, in most cases that is.
Now the question I have is, has she ever had a jerking pickle.
I'm not sure if that's is how you spell that type of pickle but without autocorrect I'm in the dark.
Right, I could search jerking pickle and see what I come up with, maybe I've spelled it wrong.
Hang on!
I had a feeling I spelt it wrong, Jerk'n is the proper spelling.
Some really funny stuff, the kind of jokes that just come from ordinary circumstances when there is a misunderstanding and then all of a sudden the light goes on.
Happy home hunting!
Not sure which opener was my favorite part, the no hats one or the Pura has good taste one. Tie!
Good morning Sweed! Agreed, they're the worst pickles ever. We've been together about six years now so I'm easily thrown for a loop when it's something food that I'm familiar with and she's a deer in the headlights.
Thanks for finding the right splelink otherwise I woulda been:
I'm glad you liked this one man, thank you. Yeah parking always sounds good in theory. Dogs, settle down etc. Then I sit still for a minute and I'm 'what's on THAT mountain over there?'
!BEER
for you
!THANKYOU
"Y'all ain't from around here are ya?"
🤣🤣🤣
My granny and aunt always made their own pickles so I was exposed to bread and butter pickles early on, I'm with you, I thought everybody knew what they were.
There's a time and a place for instant coffee and that's never and in the trash....I'd drink tea for breakfast too if instant coffee was my only other option. That's usually what I do when I'm camping in the boonies, way less fuss and mess.
I knew there was a reason we got along. My driver's license says the same thing although there's some variance depending on who you ask.
Y'all got any requirements aside from a coastal city? Tybee Island, right outside Savannah, Georgia is where I'd be if I had to set up shop in an East Coast town.
Finally! Man I've been engaging with you like this cuz I didn't wanna be rude, not cuz I think you're cool or anything. Green eyes.. Duh!
No kidding about the instant. It's not that we didn't know how big tea is England, we just didn't know how not big coffee is. I bet less than half the markets there even sell coffee and there won't be more than one brand. Their tea section, different story, it looks like our coffee section at the market.
We do not actually and this is the first I'm hearing Tybee Island. And we both fell in love with Savannah when we were there, good lookin out! I'm on it.
It's so obvious. Even my virtual buddy (you) sees it. When I was getting a new ID, a dude in line gave me directions to another dmv, I said something about not being from here and he said "oh I know where ya from." Jus like that. I keep thinkin about that, like shit!! That's right when we got back, dude didn't just say I can tell or I know he said "oh I know where ya from."
Been that way ever since
Mine Too...
H U G E B A L L S . . !
So big I carry them in a sack... On my back.
A Ballsack Backpack...
I wonder what it would have sounded like if you simply had said...
"My
Eyeballs are green..?"Thanx for the the belly laugh on a way too long and exhausting day. (5 am Rayville, LA. / 6 pm Lake City, FL.)
Hey that's an AC/DC song!
My pleasure dude, thanks for keeping an eye on me. I would say thanks for the ballsack backpack picture but truth is it damaged my cornea and I only lie to people I love. 🤫ZzzZzz......
Walks away inconspicuously to a familiar whistled tune
You are a living autocorr6ect!
Is it obvious? It's obvious ain't it?? I knew it was, dammit!
i just did a post abot this very thing - gonna drive you batty from now on!
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