MY CRAZY LITTLE COUSIN


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Have you ever been disgraced by a little child and still couldn't scold the child because he/she isn't wrong ?. I bet you wouldn't want to have that experience because it may just be the most embarrassing experience of your life.

I have this nephew, he is about 7 years old. He is very funny, clever and full of mischief. One amazing thing about him is he never forgets anything, not even the tiniest and most insignificant detail.

Everyone in the house tends to be careful around him because it is said that " anything you do or say might be used against you in Dube's court of law". Yes, I forgot to mention that his name is Dube, but I call him Nsobu which in our local dialect means "Trouble"

Everyone in the house has at one point in time been dealt with by this little kid.
Although Dube is just a little kid, I'm also very careful around him. I remember when he first dealt with me many years back when I went on a visit to his place.

That fateful day, I was having a discussion with his elder sister - my other cousin. We were talking about cars, and I told her how some people in the City I came from now used the type of car their father had as a taxi, and sometimes to collect trash . I was just explaining that there were quite a lot of rich people in the city where I came from.

The discourse wasn't even about his father's exact type of car , although it was the same brand. This boy heard all what I had said but pretended like he didn't hear anything.

When his dad came back from work, we all went to greet him, then this little boy told his dad that I said his car was only good for collecting trash or as a taxi, and that he should start using it as a taxi or to pack trash.

I was really shocked and embarrassed that day. He even looked at me and with his tiny voice, he had the guts to ask me if it wasn't what I had said. I couldn't utter a word, My uncle looked at me with so much disappointment and embarrassment. He didn't say anything too me, he just walked into the house.

My other cousins weren't surprised, they new what Dube could do, they laughed at me terribly and it even made me feel worse.

It was then I was first told this statement which they all lived by, "be careful of what you say or do in this house else it might be used against you in Dube's court of law".

That was one of the very many blows I had gotten from Dube but it was nothing compared to what others had received. His parents,- my aunt and her husband wasn't even spared, infact, they had even received more.

There was this time he embarrassed his parents in public. We were in a conference and they were teaching about morality and truthfulness. The teacher was talking about how it was bad to lie, he said liers are bad people and would one day be punished. This little boy raised his hand and said he wanted to say something. he stood up and said thus, "please sir, are you saying my parents are bad people and they would be punished, please I don't want them to be punished". He went further to say that whenever some people came to look for his dad at home, his dad would tell his other siblings to tell them that he wasn't around while he was upstairs watching TV. He also said that whenever his dad was talking on the phone, he would say that he was on his way to the office while he was sitting on the couch watching TV.

While has was talking, his dad who was sitting 2 rows away was looking at him, signalling that he should stop talking but he refused, he instead turned to him and said "Daddy why are you doing your eyes like that, don't worry, I won't let anyone punish you". It was then everyone realized who he his dad was and they began laughing at him.

The other time, it was his elder sister. She had just gotten a boyfriend and she was trying to keep it out of the knowledge of their parents, because they were against the idea of her having a boyfriend.
That fateful day, she had left her phone in the room while she was in the living room watching a movie with the rest of the family. Her phone rang and it happened that it was her boyfriend calling. Unfortunately, Dube was in her room while the phone rang, so he took the phone and made his way to the living room. As he got there, instead of him to hand the phone over to her directly without creating a scene. He said so loudly that everyone could hear clearly. "Sister, take your phone, someone named MY LOVING BOYFRIEND is calling you". Immediately his parents turned to him and asked "who did you say was calling her". It was at that moment everyone knew the house was going to be hot that night.

In the house we always had our devotion every morning. we all took turns to preach, teach and lead the prayers. One day, my aunt said that Dube should also be given the opportunity to lead the devotion too like everyone else, so he would learn.

The first day Dube was allowed to preach and teach, he ceased the opportunity to subtly express his displeasures concerning somethings that was happening in the house. He ceased the opportunity to tell everyone how bad we were and how everyone in the house always told one lie or the other.
He particularly attacked our parents. He told them that they were always fond of making promises and not fulfilling them and that it was a big sin. He cited examples of different times they had promised him different toys but didn't keep to their promise. At different intervals while he talked, He would ask the house "is it good to promise and fail ?", We all would chorus "No ooo". He told his parents that if they kept on making promises and not keeping to them, that they'd be punished. He then ceased the opportunity to subtly tell everyone what gift he wanted for his next birthday as he said it was a way to show love to our neighbors.

The ugliest of his mischief happened some months later when an uncle of ours came to see us. When we learnt that this man was around, we all went to greet him, and because Dube is the last child, he carried Dube on his thigh. He was playing with Dube and everyone was happy but Dube being the mischievous kid that he was, had to ruin everything.

Dube tapped him on his shoulder and asked "uncle, why do you not like brushing your teeth", he tried to evade the question but Dube didn't let him. He then answered "I always brush my teeth everyday", then he tried again to change the topic to something else but still Dube didn't let him, Dube then replied " If you brush your teeth everyday, then why is your mouth smelling ?, My teacher said we should make sure to brush our teeth twice everyday so our mouth wouldn't smell", I could see the embarrassment on this man's face. He didn't know what to do or say. He immediately pulled out his phone from his pocket and acted like someone had called him, then walked out of the room.

The craziest thing is that, even though this little boy causes this much embarrassments, we can't punish him because he is always saying the truth. We really didn't Know how to handle him so the only option we had was to act cautiously whenever he is around because like they say "anything you do or say would be used against you in Dube's court of law"

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Thanks for stopping by and reading my post. I hope you found it interesting. Do well to share your views and opinions in the comments section

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Such kids can be very annoying that if you want to discipline them and remember that they are just kids you will intend to avoid beating because they are still young lol.

Yea, I totally understand. It's just crazy. Thanks for stopping by

Dubem is a tough one at it's peak of a Truth he is saying the truth the very way he sees it just to tell him there is and should always be a limitation in all things.

Yea, but the truth is bitter

Indeed 🙏

Kids can be something else. Especially last Borns they are good at reporting. And one funny thing is that they won't even feel guilty about it

You're so correct. They never feel guilty at all and it's just funny

We forgive those guys

He must really have been embarrassed to have been talked to like that actually. If I am also in that shoe, I will feel bad also

I Love Dube😂😂😂
He is one of a kind🥰

YouYou ggave him the right name. Nsobu 😂😂😂😂

Wow Dube is a typical kid 😂, do you all in your house realize that the inclinations in that kid is a raw talent given to him by God, and should be nurtured? How I wish you people realize on time, thanks for sharing.

Hahaha this is what I call see finish 🤣

Hahaha, you can never cheat that kind of child 😅. She knows her right and is not scared to express herself. The part were she was going to save her parents from being punished made me laugh.