Over the last several days I've been watching a job in the factory taking shape. It's a truck chassis extension. Essentially the rear wheels, axle, tail shaft and differential are removed and the chassis rails are cut through breaking the truck in half. Those rails are extended with matching steel c-channel and welded back on before the extended tail shaft is re-fitted along with the back wheel assembly. It's a massive job requiring an engineering certificate for compliance so has to be very precise. I've enjoyed watching the process but today I got a little more hands on.
The job is about one hundred and ten hours worth of labour, so about $16,000 plus materials so time is of the essence; the client accepted the quote and that's what the company will be paid on completion, irrespective of how long the job actually takes. It's running behind so I jumped on the tools today to help one of the lads out and push the job along.
Working in the factory isn't my role but getting on the tools gave me a chance to learn a little, show the factory team that I'm not above getting my hands dirty and that I'm a team player. A win win situation really...But why do I feel like I lost?
I was in the factory for almost five hours working directly with a welder/fabricator fellow who has a vast knowledge of his trade, He used to make trains at his last job, has worked on the submarine project welding inside the hull and various other things but... He would have to be one of the most negative people I have met in a long, long time and that's not legit for a chap like me who usually steers well clear of negative people.
The negativity began the moment there was the smallest of issues, the drill bit biting into the burrs on the steel and stalling was enough to send the conversation spiralling downward into the negativity-abyss and it dragged me with it. Heaven forbid his gas cylinder ran out on his welder! After about thirty minutes I wanted to weld the guy's mouth shut with his own Mig-welder. I couldn't of course, so I endured hours and hours of negativity and right now I feel pretty drained because of it.
Usually I'd apply my phrase from above, the don't go, or stay, as long ethos but in this case I was somewhat captive. I couldn't escape. All I could do was try and steer the conversation to more positive topics and hope to keep them there...But no, it wasn't possible. Kill me now, I was thinking after the first hour.
Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears - Marcus Aurelius
It's easy to play the victim in life, especially these days where society, for some unknown reason, seems to promote it as a perfectly acceptable state of being. It's also easy to lay blame, to shift it away from oneself rather than take ownership and responsibility for one's own thoughts, attitudes and actions. I'm not sure, but I think people may like the feeling of empathy they get from others when they do so; maybe it's easier to blame and be negative than seek the solutions that will move one forward to better thoughts and a brighter future. I could be wrong though - I'm no expert.
What I know for sure is that I repel negativity, I just can't stand it and to have to work so closely with someone who was so completely negative brought me to a state of abject misery...I guess the only good thing is that I could go home and get back to normal; that chap has to live with himself and his negativity all the time, I was able to escape it.
I could have walked away, helped elsewhere, but I'm not one to shy away from a commitment; this job needed to be accelerated and I was able to help that happen so I did what I had to...But I'll try and avoid it next time, I just can't deal with the negativity...Or trust myself not to weld his mouth shut!
It was a funny day today. On one hand I helped a chap find clarity, take him from feeling miserable to feeling like there was light at the end of the dark tunnel he was/is in which I wrote about in my last post. On the other hand I spent a miserable five hours with an incredibly negative person whom, try as I might, I could not sway from the path of self-righteousness, victim mentality and extreme negativity. A weird sort of day.
Design and create your ideal life, don't live it by default - Tomorrow isn't promised so be humble and kind
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The image is mine not yours
Much the same - I can't be around negativity. I am learning to walk away and that is important.
Hey Eden, yes finding the ability, or making that choice, to walk away is very important. I'll do so no matter the person - Negativity is negativity. This scenario was really difficult for me as I was working side by side with the chap...I worked to break through the negativity barrier with him but I'm not sure if it worked.
It must be terrible to live with that sort of attitude, but then do they even realise they're like that? Probably not.
Yes, probably not - very few people recognise their own faults. It's important to take accountability for the mistakes we make so we can learn from them and not implement them over and over again.
Indeed Eden; ownership and responsibility and a few other elements underpin my life so I couldn't agree with you more.
Glad we're on the same page.
Drainers!!! Fuck em!
My brother is like that. When I meet him it is such a litany of everything being fucked and shit that I end up going home sometimes feeling like a wet sock
You need a mig-welder...I hear they have many and varied uses. 😉
HAhaha, and very effective!
Lip-welding is a fine art, difficult to learn, but once mastered one can persuade people to shut the fuck up quite effectively.
It is also one of those skills that can be monetised for other people without those skills. Set up yer stall!!
Haha, a good little money-spinner.
It will pay for itself in no time!
You wanted to weld his mouth with Mig-welder.
Omg, this part
Lol, it's not easy to do, but once the skill has been acquired it comes in really handy.
Mine too, I just honestly don't bother with him anymore. Negativity sucks, cut that shit out like a cancer!
It has to be done at times!
Hahaha the wet sock analogy made me laugh 🤣 I'm so sorry on your behalf.
I will live, once I dry out :OD
If you get trapped with him again, hijack the conversation, and tell him positive stories 🤣🤣🤣
Blow his mind with stories of rainbows and unicorns and boobs!
I mainly spoke about things that made him look at himself a little clearer, made him think inwardly. Time will tell if it worked. Probably not.
You can't force anyone to change, but you can try to keep them from having a chance to speak.
I've had a few attempt to force me to change...Didn't go so well for them.
That's their problem! Some people only learn through experience.
I'm guessing that is some people's comfort zone, but it certainly isn't fun for anyone around them, especially for long periods of time.
Must be a miserable life, living with only that sort of thing on the inside.
Exactly, comfort zone. People who do it, defer to the negative, probably have no clue they're doing it as it's so ingrained. It often takes an epiphany of some sorry to shake it loose but often that never comes. I guess we can be thankful we're not like that and do what we can to help those who are.
It's easy to play the victim in life, especially these days where society, for some unknown reason, seems to promote it as a perfectly acceptable state of being. It's also easy to lay blame, to shift it away from oneself rather than take ownership and responsibility for one's own thoughts, attitudes and actions.Unfortunately it seems that most of the society is like this. I have some relatives and friends who won't accept the possibility that the solutions to their problems are available at hand. They'd rather go on with the negative narration in their heads. Over the years it become clear to me that this kind of attitude is not about resolving the actual problem, as it would remove the object of interest from the mind, but somewhat about feeding from experiencing the negative emotion. For the mind it makes no difference. It can fuel itself from either positive or negative energy. Just so it happens, the negative is easier to use, and as you said, there's no need to take ownership and responsibility.
You summarise it really well here and I've nothing really to add I guess. I think people just feel a little overwhelmed by the prospect of turning things around and improving a situation - which takes hard work - so they stay in their little sphere of negativity for the comfort. It doesn't make much sense to me, but so many people do it.
In most cases it's not a conscious process. 95% of who we are to this day is made of the past experiences. Often times, just wanting to make a change isn't enough, as the subconscious machinery is working against it.
Yes, change requires the right attitude and actions.
Negativity is the biggest problem we all have to deal with, in our daily lives so I really appreciate the way you dealed with the situation.
Yes, you're right, it's easy to let it creep in but best not to allow it. Thanks for your comment.
Welders are a different creature, same goes to lathe operators. I go often to a really cool dude, incredible machine operator, to create small parts. He's not the negative type, but won't accept help and won't start working if there's people around. I find it funny, because I'm the same. Now I have to agree, there's nothing more harmfull than negativity. If I'd given ears to negativity I wouldn't have done the wild trips I've done. It's a relief when we develop a filter against those comments.
That's one of the tricks when negativity surrounds us, don't allow it to seep in. In happens of course, sometimes, but if we're aware of it and have some methods to repel it then we're doing ok.
Sounds like an awful time man, sucks! It's good that you were on the line with the staff though, I think that's awesome to see. I loved seeing my manager coming out to help us back in the day, shows that they are able to get shit done when they need to instead of sitting on their throne.
I suspect even boobs didn't work on this guy! Ugh, sounds a lot like my brother. Stay the fuck away from him that's for sure lol
Yep, I believe the fellow, and others who saw me getting my hands dirty, respected it and appreciated that I was happy to pitch in and help the job move along faster. It will pay dividends down the track for sure.
As for that negativity...It just about did my head in, but I also think he got some benefit from the time I was there. I hope.
Hello there,
I'm sorry you had your energy drained by this very negative person. I feel bad for him because he might not know how to actually shift his behavior. He might not even how much it is affecting him and others around him. Kudos to you for trying to steer the mood.
I believe negative feelings and emotions are somewhat necessary, but we must be aware when they become the norm in our minds. Negative feelings and emotions should be transited, not silenced or repressed, as they often are a valuable sign of something deeper going on. I hope this man can de some introspection in the near future to help himself see life with a clearer crystal.
Oh, the contradictions of existence! An interesting experience overall. You might know yourself and your capabilities a little more now, perhaps?
There's a lot of underlying factors to this fellow's attitude and I know (basically) what they are, I'm just not willing to write about them here. I feel sorry for him as he just doesn't have the skills he needs to see for himself and will languish in that negative space because of it. Sad really as he is a good chap overall.
I've spent most of my life learning hard lessons and applying them to my life and other people's and am a leader of people so have some clue how to do it, but sometimes things get the better if me, like those hours with this bloke. I learn new things all the time though and working with him had some positive effect on him I'm sure. We'll see as it moves forward huh?
Hoping for the best. Everyone would benefit from a lighter, more positive workplace.
Can I ask about your background in training to lead? Sounds ver interesting and I'd like to know a bit more.
I've been in jobs where I was put into positions of leadership from a reasonably young age, and in which getting it right really mattered. I was trained, sought my own further training and developed my skills to be better at what I did, a more complete leader. Later, in other jobs, I used those skills in business and with clients and, of course, worked to develop and deepen them even further.
I've worked hard to understand people, including myself, and to have the ability to see them, and their situations, with more clarity. Add in a few other skills and that leaves me able to better deal with people, lead them and help them gain some of the skills I have. It makes me a better manager and in my own life a much better individual. Mostly.
Thank you for your thorough answer. It's great that you've had the experience of leadership, and I think you might have always known the crucial differences between a true leader and a 'boss' figure. That's commendable!
I credit my father for helping to build the right foundation for me to build myself upon. He was a good man: Generous, kind, thoughtful, respetful, courteous and more. I'm not exactly like him, but my core values are based on his examples.
I learned, very early in life, that I have the ability to design and create myself the way I'd like to be and that's what I largely do. I've made mistakes (learned from them), had terrible experiences (learned from them) and have managed to find it in myself to rise (after falling) and take another step. I'm not the, stay down sort of fellow. It's this, and a million other things, that helps me be a better man and leader.
Thanks for your comment.
I was gonna comment on this post...
But it turned into a ramble.
So I Must...
Ramble On
You can see my Ramble here...
I snuggled down for a long winters
NAPread of a well crafted welding journey...One of your comments turned into a ramble? I hardly believe it...🤔