There are so many similarities between Smallsteps and I, that I feel sorry for her. However, this morning while we were making some puzzles, I realized that in one way she is quite different.
She really enjoys putting the puzzles together, but once done, she has no sentiment toward keeping them. For example, we spent about an hour building one but once we were finished, she took a moment to admire it, gave me a high five, grabbed the box and disassembled it, heading to her room for the next.
I think that when I was a kid, I would have had some attachment to the finished product, because of the work put into it. A sunk-cost fallacy perhaps, as essentially what I had built was worthless.
This is something I will keep an eye on as she ages, as it could be that she is more interested in the process than the result, which could be a benefit for her. Building good processes is required for consistent results and while it doesn't guarantee good results, it is more likely to hit the mark than randomness. It is why athletes train and work on building muscle memory.
But as Vince Lombardi said, Practice doesn't make perfect, perfect practice makes perfect.
Due to the way we get comfortable and acclimatize to conditions so fast, we tend to do what we do repetitively, even if it doesn't get us to where we want to go. Process is important, but if we also have dome kind of goal in mind, the process has to fit the needs.
For example, when my daughter is doing a puzzle, she takes different strategies depending on whether she has done the puzzle before. If it is a new puzzle, she will start from the edges and work her way in. But if it is something she has done before, she will make components of it she knows and put them into position, joining them up as she finds connectors.
She has a very good spatial awareness and memory, far better than mine. I think that she has been helped in this by her largely analogue life, as nothing is spelled out for her, she has to deal with the reality of it, no shortcuts.
I think that when it comes to cognitive ability, a lot of what we consume makes us feel like we are thinking, but it is actually heavily guiding us. It is like watching a murder mystery, where all the clues are already laid out in the scene, highlighted for the audience in some way. While there are some red herrings in the plot, using the information included, the mystery has already been solved, the solution found.
A real murder mystery is quite different, as imthe investigation starts from scratch and a whole lot of superfluous information is available and has to be included, investigated and excluded from the evidence. Finding the solution can be much harder, because of the pool of information is yet to be sorted.
Having a good process for filtering environmental information is a core part of investigative work. While there is still the chance for luck to have an effect as always, process trumps random.
I think we tend to forget about how much of what we consume has already been put together for us, where we do not have to think about what to include or exclude. It becomes more like the puzzle my daughter has done before, where we feel clever by connecting up large chunks of information provided us to find the solution to something already solved.
I think that the Internet gives people a sense of accomplishment too, where people can argue using a Google search result, but don't actually add anything to the conversation themselves. We can always be right, and still know nothing about how to get there ourselves. People notice this using GPS navigators, where they can get somewhere unfamiliar, but if they have to go there again, they need the navigator again. They didn't learn the process, they followed the directions.
We have built a world of many competitive cognitive artefacts and while we are able to find answers, I think we are losing the ability to solve problems. As new problems arise, we are getting less and less capable to deal with them on average. While the availability and visibility we have might make it look like there are more clever people than before, I get the sense that the pool of problem-solvers is reducing.
I also think that on average, we are getting less capable to observe, evaluate and understand our environment, making us increasingly poor at dealing with conditions. I think a lot of the social unrest and the rise of victimhood mentality is due to inability to accurately identify real influences and causes of suffering. Rather than find the real solution, it becomes a blame game.
People can disagree, but I believe our processes are getting worse the more we consume, because we do not have to solve for ourselves, since we are living the consumptive life in an engineered environment, that excludes the randomness of real life. We are given directions on what to do and do not need to discover our own path, as it is laid out before us.
Again on my opinion, this leads to a consolidation of solution and a reduction in experience, as information and process becomes fed from a decreasing number of sources and therefore, more homogenous. This doesn't mean there isn't polarization, just far less nuance and inability to consider nuance. We see this now, where society has become bipolar in its approach to conflict, constantly on or off.
I don't know how much influence I have over Smallsteps, but I am hoping that she will spend time building good processes, instead of wanting to only have access to the "back of the book" solutions. I think the difference is that while she will be wrong a lot, she would be a creative force, rather than someone who just plugs the provided information into the provided formula. But, at the end of the day, all I can really do is provide her with an environment that allows for and encourages creativity, rather than one that supports consumption - room to discover the world, rather than a chair from which to stare at the world go by.
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]
You would have had a largely analogue childhood, what's your excuse ;D
All my kids have got pretty good spatial despite having pretty much the opposite upbringing (almost unlimited access to screens) but they have also had almost unlimited access to movement and outside which may have more to do with it.
When I noticed this, I associated it with school. It certainly seemed that way when I was going, and despite shrilly being told that it's different now, it seemed pretty much exactly the same when my daughter was trying out high school a couple of years ago.
I think so too. And that's a problem that needs a bunch of other problems solved before or at the same time x_x
AAARGH.
Right now, a hell of a lot. In a few years, you'll be completely irrelevant, especially when you're telling her things she doesn't want to hear (all her friends agree with her therefore they must be right), but also not really because while she's desperately trying to prove she's an adult she also still desperately needs to be a child (especially when really hard stuff starts happening that they need to learn to navigate). In a few more years, she'll realise that you do actually know a hell of a lot and did know exactly what you were talking about and that your wisdom and experience is a useful addition to what she's collected living her life XD
My spatial awareness is good, my memory is very selective. When I was a kid, I spent my days largely alone - perhaps it meant I didn't have to remember much :D
i think a large part of spatial awareness is having a rich imagination - being fed the space means not having to build it. School encourages the filling of formulas, not the creation of formulas. There is very little to encourage looking for new, it is just about reinforcing what has already been discovered. Sure, that past is important to build the future, but without the tools to innovate, not much good it does.
Depending on how much the world changes, she will read all this and say, "Dad, WTF were you thinking back then?" :D
I feel like selective memory is fine but it could just be because mine is very random. I'm quite sure that I remember everything but just have a very weird indexing system. I will fail to remember something I'm desperately trying to remember but something vaguely, tangentially or sometimes not even related will trigger retrieval of something else.
LoL probably XD least you can honestly say you were doing the best you could with what you knew at the time :)
You are probably quite lucky, my daughter insists on keeping absolutely everything she has ever constructed. We have tonnes of it and have to bin things on the sly!
Were you like her as a kid?
I have some friends that have three kids and have kept it all, even the crappy daycare creations made on templates - We have kept some, but have tried to limit it. My wife isn't very sentimental for the most part, as she is Finnish and their souls are largely frozen.
I was like that as a kid. So it's nice in that respect.
We keep the good stuff. Lord knows how people cope if they keep everything.
Frozen souls, hehe 🤣
It is nice to see yourself reflected in kids - until the bad stuff arises.
They divorced a couple years ago - cleaning the double garage (that was never used as a garage) was a nightmare.
Lol. It must have been a nightmare.
Imagine what you could do with a double garage! Over here garage conversions are really popular because they are cheap. So much space
Space can be a curse.
The basement conversions are popular here too, though super expensive because they need to be heated and often in the old houses like ours, the floors need to be dug out first, as there is no insulation underneath.
I would love a basement. Just now though, mine is only about 0.7 metres deep
Good morning @tarazkp well written article as usual.
You mentioned at the end that you don't know how much influence you can have over your daughter. After becoming prego with my 1st, I read so many books on child rearing. The over all message that was clear to me, from birth until 5 years old, parents have the greatness influence on their offspring. That is when the rate of learning is at it's peak. They learn survival. From first lifting their heads, to crawling, walking. you know what I am saying. But our children are also learning love, trust, compassion, personality traits are formed, all with two of their best teachers, mother and father.
On the flip side, tension between the parents will spill over to the child, they may not verbalize it, but they feel it.
For myself, I took parenting very seriously ,as did my hubby, the teaching never stopped. Always trying to lead by example.
Have a wonderful day!
Parents play a massive role in the environmental setup I think, but I reckon it is the "lead by example2 that likely has the largest effect, rather than the spoken lessons. People tend to mimic the environment quite a lot, which is why culture can be such a "killer" in some communities.
I take it a little too seriously perhaps :)
When it comes to developing young hearts and minds, you can never take it too seriously. It's our job, we owe it to our kids to work hard and be mindful of their environment , your are right, their surroundings will influence them greatly. That was one of the reasons we bought this farm in the middle of no where. My kids could just be young and free, no worries, just nature. From nature we learn to nurture.
I like this!
As a parent myself I always wants to give the support to my daughter to work towards her goal to my and thus it's upto her to continue chasing her dreams.
It is terrible and awesome being a parent -so much to do, so little lays outside of our control :D
To a point parents do have a very large influence over the children, but it is also pretty limited influence. As we grow there are a lot of things that influence us along the way, I am from a family of more than one and we all went our own way, and are rather different and unique people.
I only saved one puzzle put together when I was a kid, and that was a round one of the moon. We slid thin cardboard under it flipped it upside down and then smeared glue all over it and put a cardboard backing so it could be hung from the wall. The rest of the puzzles were taken apart and put back in the box to re-build later.
Also as a kid we had one of those abacuses. Figuring out how things worked, (by taking them apart), was a lot of fun as a kid.
There are five in my family and while there are similarities, there are also a a massive amount of differences between us, in some cases, it is like we are barely related.
I was just thinking about it - I don't remember having ever done a puzzle as a kid. I can't remember if we even had any in the house. By the time I came along, all toys were well worn and anything that had instructions or required all parts, was a non-starter.
Wow! ☺️ Amazing 🤗 good contents
I have never seen such good contents!
Follow for follow?
Never, I mean EVER use that particular question when heading to the ablutions block Sir.
I'll not make that mistake a fifth time!
It is definitely a learner that one! :OD