If we look from the point of view of the evolution of species, humanity seems to have progressed. But has mankind really gone so far along the path of evolution, as we used to think? Let's take for example ethological models of communication.
In nature, there are three basic models of reaction to the enemy. For example, a hare saw a wolf in the distance. A natural reaction is to escape.
If the predator is already close, the instinctive reaction will stop (pretend to be dead), hide.
If the enemy is equal in strength, the behavior may be a fight.
How humans behave. A simple example. Going to work his wife asked her husband ... well, let's say, take out the garbage.
Returning home, she sees that garbage has not been blown, and her husband plays a computer game. Wife "swithes on the sawmill", that is, speaking in "language of natute" means that she attacks.
Variants of the behavior of her husband? Option one: run away. "Oh, I need to leave urgently, I'll be back, then we'll talk!" "Oh, my stomach hurts, I need to use the toilet"!
Option two: hide (pretend to be dead). The husband puts on the headphones and pretends that he does not hear.
Option three is a retaliatory attack. The quarrel begins. The husband, in response to the reproaches of his wife, begins to raise counter claims.
All these options are variants of animal behavior towards the enemy. But there is fourth option, which should be used by a human being - to negotiate.
The main rule of negotiations, when we want to agree with a partner, is not talking about his or her shortcomings, not about what he/she did or did not do, but about our own feelings.
What will be the reaction? At the initial stages, we do not know. If earlier your relationship was built on one of the first three models, your partner may become confused. Unfortunately, we are often not taught how to go into communication "from intimacy". In any case, you can only offer such a communication model to your partner. But the choice, whether to accept it or not, remains for him.
Your partner can "accept" your proposal, and then you together will learn a new model of behavior. But he/she can refuse. And then you already have to choose whether you want to continue the relationship using the old schemes, or you want to get out of this relationship.
The entire rewards from this post will be spent on feeding our animals :)
Thank you for reading :)
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Hey torem this is quite a read - the concept of communication was laid down as if we are talking about animals ( technically humans are also part of the kingdom Animalia. ) .
Thank you for sharing this post, makes me wonder at times I play dead when my wife will be saying some words especially asking for a favor.
Communication is really importand and above that respecting your partner !
Great work ✨
It's so true, not everyone will accept the fourth option... But why not, do they crave drama?
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