This post is sponsored by #Bullshit token... the only true shitcoin to breath shity life into the hive blockchain 😂
Picture the Scene...
It was 2017 and a fresh faced raj808 had just stumbled across Bitcoin. Buoyed up by his best friend's story of paying off his mortgage using the gains from a 2015 Bitcoin investment, this pigtailed crypto virgin skipped happily onto Coinbase with a pocket full of dreams & his life savings and deposited a few thousand pounds...
The next six months would see him descend into the depths of crypto depravity 😵
From the pure clean hit of Bitcoin Sensimilla, his rapid descent to the crack pipe that is shitcoin investment saw family members weeping tears for a lost innocence, calling out to an uncaring god for the sanity of their only child.
Meanwhile... raj808 bought his first pot of Ethereum with some of the coinbase BTC purchase...
and unaware of the horror that was winging its way toward his wallet, beady eyes watching this naive buffoon prancing around crypto Facebook groups without a care in the world.
The First Hit on the Shitcoin Crack Pipe is Sooo Good...
and came in the form of an ICO for a project called Faceater.
The FACE token (faceater) was supposedly a revolutionary technology that would use FACE tokens to fuel a global ecosystem of face recognition security algorithms, equipping businesses and private citizens in South Africa with truly space age security camera systems.
The crazy thing is that I remember at the time having a vague inkling that this level of sophistication wasn't even possible with current technology, but tweaking on the heady fumes of shitcoin crack, I sent the equivalent of $200 worth of ETH (at summer 2017 prices) to the ICO and received my shiny new FACE ERC20 tokens in my metamask wallet.
Now that same amount of ETH (0.92 ETH) I sent to Faceater would be worth $1,462... and the current value of my 3500 FACE bag is $2.98, trading at 0.00000002 sats on HitBtc... not even worth the gas fee it would cost to send them to the exchange 😂
Meanwhile the Faceater team have fucked off to their million dollar compound in Ecuador and upgraded their servers to produce evermore elaborate and new strains of shitcoin... leaving their intern Stacey to play the long con in the official Faceater telegram group just in case they want to try and grind any more newbies nut sacks for some extra ETH with a super secret rebrand token sale.
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Check out MAK above in the chat... with rapier wit like that
Will you understand more than our great team?
how could you ever doubt the almighty wisdom of 'the great team'. Especially with intern Stacey patiently explaining the technological nuances of how a future fortune 500 tech giant works...
The rest an the most important part of the team is behind the scene.
Nice to know there is a 'happening Faceater Scene' in South Africa Daddyo. When do I get my invite to the party!? 😞
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What I really love about the Faceater telegram is how much they are blatantly taking the piss out of all and anyone who is hanging on desperately hoping this project isn't the massive scam it is. Check out intern Stacey above, announcing Faceater Stage 1 (3.5 years after taking everyone's money in the ICO) where you can Get Your Personal Surveillance! Now Free...
Yes... for no money at all you can get a faceater camera installed in your toilet bowl, providing state of art surveillance where you need it most, all while secure in the knowledge that Faceater's multilevel server technology will scramble images of your dangling gonads keeping them from prying eyes. Just send one payment of 2.5 ETH to address supplied in DM to activate your account and they will send 2.6 ETH back as a special gift for 'loyalty customer'. Terrible grammar is also free!
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And if you're not convinced yet... the professional team at Faceater would like to reassure you that token burns are happening almost daily to boost the price of the token. As Delusional World - fckn love that username - reminds us...
there is just good news that 42694 FACE were burned yesterday and instead of exciting there comes the fudders who has low life!
Quite right! I can tell you that I am exciting that fudders get to come with the news of a token burn... I'm exciting all up in my pants right now! FACE is about to explode from 2 satoshis to surpass bitcoin and take its rightful place as the leading cryptocurrency, all while I have free access to space age toilet bowl surveillance to keep my new millionaire mansion safe from jealous fudders. I'm most definetly not going to be living low life... high life for me being part of Faceater family.
If all you fudders aren't convinced by now, there is nothing I can do other than leave you with the wise words of oracle, cryptocurrency mystic and illegitimate son of John Macaffee, Delusional world...
Low life fudders can't digest the progress being made
Yes, it is a hard 'progress pill' to swallow.
Everytime something positive shows up you come here and throw mud, have a break
Wise words indeed!
Ye who cast the first stone shall feel the full force of the shitcoin police right up in your business. So beware, because Faceater are watching you from one of their million surveillance terminals, and Delusional world is extremely exciting to bust you for flagrant mud throwing! 😅😅😅😅
In conclusion... Godbless the Shitcoins
Honestly, it is almost worth the loss in ETH for the epic lols that Faceater have provided me over the last year or two. I think most crypto investors go through something like this as a baptism of fire, and there have been two other shitcoin projects that I invested in that have come to nothing.
Each one taught me a lesson.
Cobbinhood (COB), to cash the fck out when things have done a 10x. And Xrweb, to not always trust people on a decentralized network.
But, the faceplant with faceater is my most epic shitcoin failure to date, and hopefully my last! Bleedin south African rip off artists 😂
I wrote this post in response to @st8z hilarious satire announcement post for their #bullshit ($BTS) token... BULLSHIT Token Whitepaper V.00.01 | Claim Your $BST Now!, check it out for some more shitcoin shits and giggles.
- BULLSHIT Token - Underground is way above
The BULLSHIT Token has the claim to become the shittiest Shitcoin of all Shitcoins. The non-plus-ultra of meaningless projects with the goal of delivering absolutely no benefit. Instead of pretending that we can make profits in 10 years with some profitable product and thus let early investors profit, we want to be honest: We don't give a shit. We don't want to make profits, we want to yolo every penny, if any. Our analyst has suggested in each case to buy the stocks that are currently particularly pushed in r/WSB. This way we could always buy at the most expensive price and sell after the attention flattened out,
Source @st8z post: BULLSHIT Token Whitepaper
They promised an airdrop of Bullshit tokens to anyone who wrote a shitcoin story post... so it seems my shitcoin adventure isn't over yet.
Time to fire up that crackpipe one more time.
Nothing in the this post constitutes financial advice. Smoking crack isn't cool, and neither is investing in shitcoins! These are my opinions and all investments should be researched and entered into at your own risk.
If you have enjoyed this satirical post, please check out my homepage @raj808 for similar content.
https://join.swissborg.com/r/rowanKC4M
https://www.coinbase.com/join/joyce_pa
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Haha, if you don't want it then why don't you just exciting instead?! Man, if I had a BTC for every shitcoin I traded it for, I'd be in Ecuador with the Faceater team haha! Jeez...
I think we all have to go through some baptism of fire first as part of our crypto initiation - would be rude not to!
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Yes, it is all a journey ;)
Faceater taught me a few profound truths...
never trust your ETH with a toilet bowl surveillance ICO start up... that can only lead to tears.
And
shitcoin telegram groups are the best place to source comedy gold
goddamn fudders!
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Your expertise in making decisions makes one thing very clear, you should be a $BST Whale.
Intern, make him $BST Whale.
Thanks for the post, think it's great!
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Glad you enjoyed it :)
Life is to short for taking serious... apart from Faceater multilevel toilet bowl surveillance systems, they are very serious business ;-)
Cheers for my elevation to whale status in the $BST ecosystem. What are our 2021 Q2 targets? I enjoy scuba diving as a hobby so maybe I could source new and innovative underwater shit to tokenize?
#manateeshit Miner coins? $MST to bring mega miner functionality and manatee-like agility in an aquatic Defi environment?
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I got fucked by XRweb and one other app that was supposed to be the Instagram killer, vid app I think it was called.
I spent like 0.4 Eth on both. That's almost $700 in today's world and thinking about it now hurts like a bitch.
Time to get me some Bullshit.
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Yeah man, that is harsh. I got done over by XRweb but luckily I only sent $80 worth of steem to Xrweb in early 2018 I think it was, so it was only something like 60 steem I sent. Oricle-d promoted it on steem and I'm not massively impressed by that fact, but I didn't have time to delve into another shitcoin experience when I looked up from my computer after finishing the Faceater section, and design on photoshop etc it was 3 hours later 🤣
Too many shitcoin experiences to write a full story about here. But I'm turning over a new leaf and putting down the shitcoin crackpipe!
Living clean with Bitcoin, Hive, Leo and one or two other sweeter smelling projects ☘️
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I'm keeping it safe as well but god damn it, that pipe keeps calling out to me
Oh wow, that is too funny! I am glad that I didn't have any kind of bags back then to push into any of the new and hot tokens that were popping up all over the place. I guess I got pretty lucky that I was late to the party for once!
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Yeah, man it is crazy but that was true. during that 2017 ICO craze it was quite hard to seperate the shitcoins from the projects that actually planned to bring some type of project/product to market. There were just so many popping up, and truthy, I was completely unequipped with the knowledge to judge things then. I had one or two winners, but only by a little bit. I didn't know when/how to effectively cash out to BTC at the right time in market cycles between alts/BTC. These things I've learned a better understanding of through those mistakes back then.
But the faceater project is just ridiculous 🤣 They were stringing people along from the very beggining, and they must have took multi millions of $$$$ in ETH during crowd sale ICO.
Glad you enjoyed the lols bozz :)
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It reminds me a lot of the AVINOC token. Their Telegram is still up and running. I never invested, but I got an airdrop and they just keep stringing people along!
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Congratulations @raj808! You received a personal badge!
Participate in the next Power Up Day and try to power-up more HIVE to get a bigger Power-Bee.
May the Hive Power be with you!
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Check out the last post from @hivebuzz:
Lol, I laughed my balls off...🤭 how you lot get into these schemes baffles me to a certain degree. Well, I have had my fair share of crypto scams, even right here on hive.
Oh well, never give up hope on faceater. I have an inkling they would surpass your expectation, in the worst possible way. Cheers!
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🤣 ha ha, yeah I was lol-ing all over my keyboard when I went into the faceater telegram yesterday to research and find some choice dialogue to highlight my case against the face...ater.
Yes, if Delusional World has anything to say, I'm just a low life fudder who can't digest the true genius behind the project.
Low life fudders can't digest the progress being madeThat dude is operating on a whole other level. I should be proud to occupy the same shitcoin shitserver shit-telegram group as Stacey, Delusional World and the rest of the truly enlightened. One day the mother ship will come to take them to Alphafacetura to join the core team and then the true believers will get to sip champagne with the core team
most important part of the team is behind the scenepreach it Stacey! 🤣
Glad you enjoyed the lols nonso :)
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Oh man :) This made me laugh out loud several times - you really can't make up the kind of comedic gold that you mined off that telegram, tell you what. Another face eaten, another lesson learned
Glad you enjoyed the wacky wonderful reality of 'Delusional World' and the faceater team Carl 😂
It really is the type of thing that you'd think was pure fckd up fiction if you'd not gone through it. Lol, the other day after I'd written this post I randomly read an article about drug addicts who smoke bath salts and it being called the 'face eater' drug! And it suddenly occured to me where the inspiration for this ETH guzzling multimillion $ shitcoin con came from... they'd just run out of bath salts and needed funds.
Stacy and Delusional world eat that stuff up like candy.
I've had my share of shitcoins in the early days. Was lucky to go in with two of the best ICO's though: Tezos and Monaco, which is now crypto.com.
But the biggest investment (of around 800 USD) I made in that time, was in a project I truly, and 200% believed in. It was full of good intentions. Bringing crypto to Latin America, and the poorest of the poorest, helping them with crypto adoption, and building villages, clean water, etc., etc. Endorsed by Dan Larimer...(he was scammed too, so at least I wasn't alone) and it all went to shit because the owner spent all the money...you guessed it: on himself. But I've learned valuable lessons along the way.
Not doing those kinds of crazy things anymore.
Anyway, this was a very enjoyable read. And I'm sorry you fell for the scam. But at least it's a lesson learned. Expensive but still a lesson.
hehe oh man. Sorry to hear about that shitcoin investment.. it really is a minefield out there!
Dear @raj808
is an interesting publication of a very unfortunate event. I think we can learn a lot from this, and yes, certainly, in one way or another we have all been through similar situations.
Yours, Piotr.
Yes, it was a very disturbing experience the first year as I watched the project become more obviously a scam. but after a while you just have to laugh or you'd cry, hence why I'm taking the piss out of the whole situation in this post.
But, if I had sunk more than $200 into faceater I might be less able to laugh at the craziness of the whole situation ;-)
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