If you want to gain power, you have to break something.
In this case, it is drilling through the wooden floor so we can pull cabling to the kitchen island for a powerpoint.
But, I guess it could be used as a metaphor for gaining power of any kind - even if what needs to be broken is our own understanding of the power structures we know and "love". Love being used, because despite us not actually liking them, we seem to support their creation. Just look at all of those apocalyptic shows and movies and note that as soon as there are no rules, they start to build the rules that they know - the leader roles, the governance, the hierarchy and bureaucracy again - we are our conditioning - Creatures of habit.
Our habits define us in so many ways and are the driving force behind our results. Sure, luck and random play a huge role, but we can't control those, we can't drive them, just be prepared - and that preparation comes through controlling our habits. Good habits lead us to where we want to be, bad habits work against us to lead us away again, and at any one time, both are in play to some degree, there are always conflicts.
I was reading an article just before on a survey conducted by a bank, where one third of women feel that their financial situation is an obstacle to divorce. This makes sense, because in general, women don't earn as much as men and, they have less invested, even though usually they have more cash saved. There are various reasons for this, but it also raises an observational question from my own relationships past and present;
The habit of disinterest.
I have been on Hive and in crypto for almost six years now and while I have tried to get my wife involved to some degree, she just doesn't have the desire. She is happy enough that I do it and is interested in the potential, but actually participation has been very hard for her. This could be due to the perceived technical hurdles of crypto.
However, I was with my ex for six years and she wasn't interested in anything financial either, so as long as the bills were paid and we were surviving, there was no interest in the investment side of things. Most of my friends are women and on average, they are much the same, being far less interested in investment participation, even if they are good with their money, meaning they don't spend it on frivolity. Similarly, when I talk with my coupled-up male friends, they say the same, as while we are talking about the state of the economy, potential investments and the like, they mention that they can't have these conversations with their partners.
Extrapolate this interested and disinterested counterpoints out to eight billion people, and of course there are going to be variations in outcomes, as habit drives our behavior more than our thoughts. Even if we think we want more money, it doesn't mean our body goes through the processes to actually have more and this also affects other aspects of employment at the meta scale, which could at least in part explain some of the pay variance between men and women.
But, at the personal social level, should it be up to me to include my wife in my interests, or is it up to her to be interested because I am? After all, I am expected to be interested in her interests, regardless of whether they are interesting to me or not and, I'm happy to be, because I want to be part of her life and if she likes something, the least I can do is listen and learn about it, even if it does nothing to improve my skillset or capabilities in any way.
I wonder though - if we could collect the men and women who are equally interested in investing, which would perform better? In general, women are risk averse (again with many possible reasons), but they are also generally better able to control their instant gratification urges, which is a form of risk mitigation. Men seem to FOMO on opportunity, women seem to play more cautiously - the outcomes can go either way.
In terms of habits though, which path is going to end up having a better financial position, the one that actively takes interest in wealth generation, or the one that does the bare minimum? I think that on average and observed over time, the answer would be pretty clear, because that is the same for everything. For example, a person interested in dancing and who goes to lessons and practices, is going to very likely be better than someone who has no interest, doesn't learn and just moves however they do when music plays.
Is generating wealth a skill?
I think so. Or at the very least, there are learnable rules and conditions that can be applied to affect outcomes, and those who are interested in exploring these are going to more likely break their current habits and build new ones that will better satisfy the generation path. And those who decide not to learn about finance, will maximize whatever are they do focus their time and energy upon. That makes sense in my head, even if what that time is spent on, isn't valuable to us at all.
For example, I know a guy who two decades ago spent 70,000€ doing up a car that was worth less than 20K when he sold it, but, he also didn't own a fridge in his rental apartment, or a couch. His focus was elsewhere than wealth generation and he got the results accordingly. Some of my female friends were saying "what a waste of money" but, just because they have more in the bank, does that mean they aren't wasting it?
Money is a tool with which we can buy things. Yes we can buy a car or a holiday experience, but we can also by investments that generate income too or, not buy something and leave it in the bank to be eaten away by inflation - that is a waste too, isn't it?
A waste of investment potential.
There are a lot of social considerations in the background of this conversation, but I also think that we have to start taking responsibility for ourselves and acting more toward where we want to be. This means, we have to investigate where we are now and why, and at least to some degree, our own habits are holding us back from the future we want.
We can't control everything, but if we want to change something, we have to be interested enough in the things that affect it, to change ourselves first. If we want economic power, we have to empower ourselves.
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]
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How difficult it is sometimes to start controlling your favorite habits. If I had known about this 10 years ago, I wouldn't have even tried many things. Conversely, I would have tried everything where I was scared and uncomfortable. That would be a very different me now.
Thanks for the post! Always something to think about after a read like this.
!CTP
I think of this too! Sure, it wouldn't all be good, but it would be very different. As it stands, I haven't moved enough in the last decade and even less in the decade before that. It isn't just about financial difference either - I think I would be far more skilled in general.
You are welcome and thanks. This is pretty much the goal of my posts, because I hope that even if the content isn't challenging to understand, the thought process that follows can be.
I read you all the time. I absorb a lot, so I can put it into practice someday! Thank you!
🙌💛💙🙌
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I think a woman who has the financial freedom, I mean not relying on husband, can act more easily. Even, if she earns more than her husband, pity for him :)
:D
Yes she can, but what is interesting in Finland is, for the most part, there is not a huge amount of difference in pay between sexes for most jobs - yet, the outcomes are different, even without children and childcare in the mix.
Yes, but it is hard for a woman to find a job rather than a man.
The reason could be the generational role that men played in financial decision making. My personal opinion and may not be accurate.
And, I think generating wealth is a skill that is enriched by luck and timing.
Yes, it could be the generational role - but it could be an assumed role because others aren't willing. If it was up to my wife, we wouldn't invest anything, because as much as she might want to -she wouldn't go through the practical steps to learn about it. Is it genetic? Is it through nurture?
luck and timing - but preparation is still required. No point in finding the perfect investment that is safe and has a high ROI - with no money to invest :)
I agree with the second point. There is no point knowing how and where to invest without the actual money to put into.
My wife is pretty much the same way. She used to post a little bit on Actfit, but she stopped doing that a while ago. As far as finances go, she has always been disinterested. I think she was more than happy to let me take that over when we got married. I try to keep her updated about where we are and stuff, but she really doesn't care.
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When disinterested, have you ever followed with - "why don't you support my interests?"
At some point of course, interest will pique - when it is buying houses and condos. :)
Yeah, I think that would be a dangerous move at this point :) You are right. When I was able to pay of our debt she was a bit more interested!
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Interested in how to use it, but not how to earn it ;D
Wow! This is so educational and quite correlates with what I'm learning for this book I'm reading now titled Atomic Habits.
How has the book worked out for you? Are you applying what you have learned?
Honestly, not as much as I would. But I'm trying.. And from what I see, over atime, it will yield good results
I don't mean to talk about gender issues. That the tendency and habit of women is to prioritize their feelings, compared to men who prioritize logic.
This forward feeling and logic has influenced many things in shaping the habits of our lives and it is indisputable how women become more and more less likely to have their future financial improvement opportunities.
I can't believe why people want to put their money in the bank assuming they will earn less than they would have invested.
Have a nice day
I am starting to think that they are connected, or at least, confused. What I have found is that a lot of people who think they are acting logically, are actually acting emotionally, but justifying it through their brain, rather the feel.
Yes, you said it better. They justify with their brains things are decided with their emotions.
That's why they become one step down more often & many men prefer not to be led by a female boss. At least one thing must be decided by men in decision making.
I don't mind who my boss is, as long as they are competent :)
Lovely to read, we actually need to begin somewhere and ends somewhere. It is important to crack the coat of the nut 🥜 before getting the nut itself. Thanks for such great post.
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Sometimes, you just have to grab life by the nuts.
Nice post
Great comment
The word has not only to spread, that would explain so much. Love to read it.
Actually. Men tend to do better than Women financially. Again, women are more interested in financial matters before marriage comes because once you're married and kids come, it's like developing different life goals.
People need to consider the future and I honestly don't want to work forever. From what I see, I want my investments to do some work for me and I am fine cutting back now for that to happen.
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Not a lot of people understand this, some don't even want it. I know a lot of people who are living the "YOLO" lifestyle nowadays. Some don't even care about the necessities, always putting their wants first; the rent isn't paid on time, wasting too much money on materialistic stuff, just to "flex" around a bit and for a very temporary "kick" of dopamine.
Financial freedom isn't a thing for such people, they'd rather go YOLO and "live now", spend it all on something unnecessary, and then move to another impulsive purchase and decision a month later.