#05
Dear friend,
It rained this night, heavily. I wondered again, what I was doing in Lagos. I am homesick but my guts says I should wait it out, that this place has something for me to learn. There's cold and I have been sneezing but I feel the need to look back before I sleep.
I have been doing some book reviews, reading some collection of short stories, poetry and novels. I have been learning new stuff about writing and business as well. It is a different world entirely, the world of business. I have never been much of a business person and each time people, for one reason or the other, thought to invest their money in a business with me, I have discouraged them because I lacked faith in my ability to manage a business.
My biggest issue with business is that I am too trusting. I trust a man or woman to say what they mean and mean what their and to keep their word. I trust them to have my best interest at heart. Now I know that, especially the latter, is not possible but I let appearances deceive me. I let the smile, the offer of friendship confuse me. It as always been so. This reason alone makes it difficult for me to be a business man. I will be cheated each and every transaction I do.
How does one find the bone to be selfish enough to want something and go after it in spite of how it will make the next person feel? And if not in that way, is there an alternative way to getting what one wants that is not hinged on denying another something?
It is my dream to one day own a place for creatives to learn, be free to explore the limits of their imagination, to create masterpieces of art and literature. To do this, I must be ready to manage people and resources. This is one skill I have found difficult. Not because of incompetence but simply because I hate to hurt people's feelings. When I see a man or woman feeling blue and I might be the cause, I feel terrible. Do I need to cut the bone out to be a better manager or is there another way?
Another issue that makes starting a business a chore is my attention span. I lose interest for things rather fast. This happens especially if I face continual difficulty in getting things done. The moment I start meeting roadblocks, I give up and the next thing, I'm off to something else. For me to stick with an idea, I need to be passionate about it and passion is something almost alien to me. How do I find passion? What things am I passionate about or can I find the fire to pursue a dream from another place?
Business demands labour even though the axiom, work smart not hard, is the common one these days. No matter how smart one has to work, one still has to roll the sleeves and do the grunt work from time to time. I detest physical labour as long as it is not writing. I would do it if I have to but I do not like it. It drains not just my physical energy which is limited but also my mental energy, making it difficult for me to concentrate. This means that if I am to do business in the future, I either have to get people who will do the grunt work or there wi be no business to run.
The last difficulty I have with starting and owning a business is money. From finding capital which I cannot trust myself to source for because I fear losing people's money to being a spendthrift, who buys spontaneously and finally, being used to being broke for too long, I don't know how to behave around money. It is sad to see really that I can't maintain a clear account of how I spend money. How can I then run a business given these tendencies and these fears?
A business needs someone who is willing to make the sacrifice, I'm not that guy. So if you are thinking of making me the manager of your firm, I suggest you look for another. But if you insist that I am the one who you need in your firm, what do you think I should know, to ensure I survive?
📸: pixabay
Yours always,
Osahon(warpedpoetic)
Maybe that's the root of your problems. Having no intrinsic or extrinsic drivers to push you to do something only makes everything a chore. Only you can figure out what you're passionate about and you can start off with crossing the things that you're not into.
We have to ask how this mindset started and why it perpetuates. You would be surprised at how many people can draw when you give them a small push and praise for the simplest forms rendered. You'll survive if you know what you want to suffer for because anything else will feel like a chore, that includes living.
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So I need to find my passion and look for jobs or do business within it? Thank you for your answers @adamada. I appreciate this a lot.
Rather than find, consider creating what you want to be passionate about. If extrinsic motivation doesn't work, figure out what you can come up with intrinsically. I could tell you a bucket list of focusing on business to earn profits so you can be this and that but none of that will ever stick because the motivation came from the outside.
Figure out what you want to be suffering for if that makes sense. Let's say you have a job, a routine, and a mundane cycle. Why do you do it? if you don't know then you can start from making it a point to know why. You can say you can't be good at business, that's ok, you will never be if you start it like that, then keep on repeating it until you reinforce that into your psyche and it becomes your reality.
Being passionate about something doesn't have to be a grand search. You can just start small and scale up or be contented over the small things that can make you productive and happy. Find a hobby and rid yourself of boredom because that's the trap that gets everyone feeling unfulfilled.
If you're not into business but still want to have that be part of your life for any reason, then set goals that can align with the business you can be passionate about. I advocate financial literacy and plan to publish/market educational materials to teach the common layman how to be financially literate to get them out of the rat race.
There's money in that but I like the idea that what I do creates value for other people and I'm in a rat race too. Find purpose in the smaller things because if you look at the grand things to be passionate about you will just end up disappointing yourself if you can't follow through.
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Thank you for this. This really helped put everything into perspective. Thank you