A GLOBAL MAGNETIC ANOMALY:
On June 23rd, Earth’s quiet magnetic field was unexpectedly disturbed by a wave of magnetism that rippled around much of the globe.
There was no solar storm or geomagnetic storm to cause the disturbance. So what was the cause of it?
While many speculate that it was Joe Biden having a moment of clarity, other reasons for this wild anomaly have been put forward.
Some say it was @zyx066 having a logical thought.
(although this has been discounted by experts as 'mathematically impossible')
Others say it was caused by someone passing @edicted a bud light.
But while the Hive ecosystem looks navel for the reasons, other people outside the massive Hive community of around 5000 people,have other ideas...
Here are the top ten reasons trending on google. (which, apparently, has even more users even than Hive).
1/ It was the sound of the Black Lives Matter leadership going through their accounts, and realizing that all their funds have now gone to the DNC.
2/ It was the cumulative effect of the still air created by social distancing.
3/ It was an accountant, (located somewhere on the east coast) shouting out, after he'd discovered where the twenty one trillion dollars lost by the pentagon, was stashed.
4/ It was Hillary Clinton shouting out, after discovering that the twenty one trillion dollars she had stashed, had been discovered.
5/ It was the sudden turning on of over two hundred bitcoin mining machines.
6/ Climate change 'scientists' argue it is the sun 'doing stuff', although they added a caveat to this, saying 'it might also be due to cow farts - but that would depend on funding'.
7/ It was the left coming up with a original thought.
8/ It was the most boring person in the world saying something interesting.
(the Hive oligarchy quickly issued a statement after this was suggested, saying that their platform is censorship free, and take no responsibility for it's users
saying anything interesting).
9/ It was the stratosphere finally contracting covid 19. (it had disregarded the face mask idea, earlier. Silly stratosphere).
10/ It was the collective reaction to the world consuming bean burrito's all at the same time. (although it must be noted , that the anomaly occurred 3 hours after this culinary event).
Other outlandish claims for the reasons of this event include the sound of @galenkp, shouting out when he completely missed a meter wide target with his rifle (at only 300 meters). Others claim it is the sound of @themarkymark coming up with a funny joke.
These have yet to be confirmed as the source of the global magnetic anomaly.
There has been some difficulty in contacting @galenkp.
So far, 33 reporters inquiring about this hypothesis have died from 'exploding heads' syndrome.
Exploding head syndrome - EHS- is a bizarre medical condition that only seems to surface when approximately 500 meters from @galenkp's home.
(It's been suggested that booking a viewing of nice detached property just north of Melbourne, may offer the solution of getting in touch with him).
It's been completely impossible to contact and confirm 'the funny joke from @themarkymark hypothesis'.
A 'Call of duty marathon' and 'some raspberries' seem to be preventing any meaningful intercourse with him at this point.
(We have no idea what that means, either...)
Breaking:
It has now been discovered that ripple in the earths magnetic waves, was most probably due to a mathematician at Harvard, discovering how modern monetary theory ( MMT) can make sense.
If this is confirmed, you can expect polar magnetic shifts, volcanoes worldwide, and lots of dogs suddenly looking up.
In addition to that, McDonald's beefburgers will start to taste just like real food.
And Netflix will also start to make a series that engages anyone with a an IQ over 67. (we have yet to be convinced of this claim, as it seems just too outlandish).
Strange times indeed...
LOL, nice.
While I was droning away at Amazon I was trying to think of a good insult for you, but it's a bit lackluster now:
Am I doing it right?
Does that tap deep enough into your brand, comrade?
Or is this meme somehow even more offensive? kek.
I am an agent of chaos.
When I'm a billionaire I'm giving you a million dollars just to troll the snowflakes. I know you're good for it. My friends will cower at the very mention of your existence. I'll have to pretend I don't know you. You'll understand.
I must say, I'm really dis- appointed with roastings headed my way...
'tis a sad indictment of humanity.. (or lack of humorous testicles), if you ask me.
I've seen more spirit in a bottle of alcohol free lager (bud-lite?lol), than in these parts, I swear..
I won't ever look for a safe space... (unless it weally, weally,WEALLY offends me, of course!)