Eeeek. I'm going to guess that not many people can name their best day or worst day with any certainty. I'm weird that way, I can.
I'll have to do some thinking about talking about my worst day. It's a day I generally only revisit once a year and then pack it back up for another year. That isn't coming now...
January 1, 2020
Yep. Just over a year ago. My results from 23 and Me were waiting for me when I got up early New Year's Day.
I tried to read the reports first, I really did. After maybe 10 minutes (and seeing that I wasn't really a candidate for any human race genetic defects) I went to the 'DNA Relatives' section.
There was a woman there listed as second cousin. WHAT? I had searched for my birth family for most of 50 years and I had a second cousin? It took me a while to even process that fact.
Then I realized that she couldn't be my second cousin, that she had to be my niece. I just about lost my mind. Seriously.
I made contact with her through the website. To her credit she answered and we talked a little. She alerted her family to my existence. In three days I'd electronically met my mother's family. Except for the brother that had died two weeks earlier and of course my mother who died in 2015.
Turns out Miranda was my brother's daughter, and the two of us have become quite close (actually the three. Miranda and I and my brother Larry and I). This screenshot is from my 23 and Me dashboard as it appears today.
Notice that I have a half brother listed. Yep, my father's family appeared in July. It's without question the most incredible positive experience of my life.
I'll take the other option under advisement, I really will. It's no doubt time that I talk about it.
Oh that's a great story, searching and knowing the roots is facisnante. I'm glad you had results and family reunions via the web.
I too last year did my family tree and can find name and history from my great great grandparents to present day.
One question, how does this site work? What data do you have to enter? @bigtom13
23 and Me is a DNA testing service. The price on Black Friday 2019 was just amazing so I did it. I was adopted at birth in a private adoption so my knowledge of any genetic family was zero. I am old enough that I have outlived any possible genetic problems so there really wasn't a down side. The best I hoped for family wise was to get an idea what my genetic heritage was.
Needless to say, I was crazy surprised. You can read about my adventures with half of my new family during the summer.
My adopted family has good family tree information. My mom's side to 1650 in Virginia and my father's to 1780 in Germany (and Russia). I am the oldest grandson in my father's family so I have the family Bible from 1780. Every name in the direct line is in there.
ah ok, good that you found some answers.
I'm sorry that in this life you didn't get to meet your biological mother and ask her questions that you surely have.
And how many biological siblings do you have?
Eight living. 9 total. 2 boys and 2 girls in my mother's family and 4 boys and one girl in my father's.
It's really quite incredible that I've gotten pretty close to my one new brother. We are a lot alike and even resemble one another...
Blood doesn't lie, knowing your family history must have been very fulfilling for you.
What a good time.@bigtom13
Hooa Tom, la familia y su historia habla de ti y tu vida, es genial que sepas de donde vienes y sobre todo que reconozcas y honrres a tus ancestros. Nuestra historia genética nos acompaña toda la vida nos hace ser quien somos, todos tenemos un lugar. Te felicito por ese encuentro porque fue un inicio a buenos dias, dias felices en familia.
Whoa that's awesome to date it back a few hundred years! Really cool dude!
That's excellent, bud! It's a great thing to find out where you come from and also to be received with warmth and friendship. I would be ecstatic with something like that!
It was just incredibly exciting to me. I mean really. Then to be greeted in my mother's family with open arms, I just don't have the words.
My father's family (who I knew) has been more an attitude of curiosity. There is absolutely no doubt that my father never knew that my mother was pregnant and that he had no clue that he was related to me. He was the head administrator at my High School. Not in the area he grew up, and he didn't stay long....
Imagine that! Small world! And the plot keeps getting more and more interesting. "A family reunion and a curious event"
What a great description. Nailed it!
That's just the name of this chapter. I bet there are some other deserving of clever titles!
I can imagine the surprise for your father, knowing that he had a son who never knew of his existence.
The best of all is that you went without rancor and with open arms to look for your ancestors. @bigtom13
That's wild, being a school admin for you years later. Definitely a small world!
I know of one friend that this happened to. He never knew he got a girl pregnant until many years later. It's tough because as challenging as a pregnancy is, I feel like it needs to be communicated!
Hi Tom, I hope you're well.
I specifically asked for one of your best or worst as experience has taught me that people would probably say something like, "I can't single out my best." And rightly so I guess, most of us have had so many good and bad days in life it's difficult to find just one and single it out...So, one of your best or worst seemed like an obvious solution.
What saddens me though is when people say, I can't think of one. I van think of so many good and bad days in my life and if I couldn't I guess my answer would have been *"my best day was today because I woke up". Still, that's me...Maybe the thousands of days other's have in their life are neither good nor bad...Just days. Sad really.
Anyway, I'm not surprised you can instantly think of one and this is what I half-expected from you although I'm sure you've had many good and bad days.
It's funny how things work out...They lost someone only two weeks earlier an then you arrive on the scene. Life has a funny way of doing things like that I think.
This is an excellent moment and a good one of the best days moment for sure. There's no need to have a bad one, to comment one. I mean, we all have them but you've dropped a good one and that's all I really asked for.
!ENGAGE 25
I actually thought about doing today as my best day. I have a lifetime worth of friends and family and experiences and I GOT TO WAKE UP TODAY TO ENJOY THEM. :)
Good Times, Bad Times
You know I've had my share.
I have to tell you, I have way less bad days than good days. In fact, maybe only one really bad day. Most of my life I have just bubbled along without much strife or grief. Maybe that's why it's hard to think of one day in that huge stack of good days.
The other thing is that I can't think of many truly bad things that weren't followed by a good one. I too, think that may be the way of life.
I am well and still tobacco free. I know that is an excuse at this point, but I really do have a hard time sitting down with out smoking or plotting a smoke. It's much better, maybe I'm back. :)
I caught that Zeppelin line.
Ahahahahahaha Every now and again one will slip out of me. I hope I never need 'When the Levee Breaks". That might be a bad day :)
You know Tom, I don't necessarily count a bad day as this or that happened and it was bad.
A bad day for me could be one in which I acted poorly, or didn't react well in a situation that could have benefited from a lighter touch.; You know, when I am not my best self for some reason or other. When things settle and I look back...Yep, that was a bad day and tomorrow I'm going to do it better. You know what I mean?
A bad day could be one in which I argued with Faith and let that argument dominate the day, or the emotion behind it cause me to be disrespectful. They're bad days dude. There are days when one crashes a $100,000 car...That's bad. There are days when one finds out they have cancer. That's bad. There are days when people around us die. That can be bad. But a bad day isn't just about that sort of thing for me.
I think you get the picture and, in truth, a good day isn't always attached to an event. It could be a day in which everything went to plan and was productive at work...That's a good day right?
A good day recently was spent doing nothing but writing a post here and watching movies with Faith on the couch It was whilst we were moving and we needed a break and that's what we did. Nothing special happened, but it was a good day.
Anyway, it's good you're well and I'm glad to hear you're smoke-free still. Good effort. Be around hive when you want to be, engage when you need to or feel like you have something to say...You have built enough credit with many people here so taking a day or so off and then popping back in isn't a problem.
Creo que todos los dias son buenos miestras tengamos salud, vida. Todo se resume en como miremos los resultados de ese dia.
I agree, it's all situational and dependant upon many factors.
I get it, and agree. Today isn't a bad or good day ALMOST with out exception (see above :) ). It's my reaction that makes it bad or good. Well, that and I'm just too stupid to know in real time whether or not a day is going to get cataloged as bad or good in my world.
Like "OMG I got a date with a serious hottie. I mean she might melt car seats." Then later that night "I can't believe we ended up in a sweaty heap on her couch. Might be the best day of my life"
When in fact, she got pregnant (my first. It was widly assumed I couldn't ) Made it a really good day, right? Well, that was not exactly what anyone would call a good marriage and when our daughter died any civility that might have been saved left.
But was every day bad? Not even close. I loved her daughter more than air. I got to settle a score with her ex, a serious asshole. The sort of thing that leaves a smile on my face today.
So I just never know. I end up pretending that I'm a good guy and see what happens from that.
It's all about perspective I suppose, a little honesty too probably. We're surrounded by things that could be regarded as good or bad and our perspective often dictates which, or if it's just balanced. We are subject to good and bad and sometimes can't affect either, but we can affect how we react to each right?
Exactly. I've never known anything to be all bad or all good. It's all about my reaction to it.
I'm going to talk about my worst day. I'm working on it.
Oh, this is true.
Not just the events and circumstances count.
I am joining a bit late to the topic 😔, I am going to read first the comments :-)
I've had many good days I'm which nothing much happened; Sometimes those lazy days can be so valuable right?
Yeah I feel bad for people who just seem to exist in a very vanilla way. Nothing deviating from the steady pace that much to stand out as great or bad.
I think it's a limiting state to be in. I mean sometimes bad things happen from getting out there and trying stuff...But by getting out there an trying stuff is how one makes good things happen; It's how we progress. So, staying safely within ones comfort zone may seem preferable but it's rather limiting in my opinion.
ENGAGEtokens.That's awesome Tom I love it! There's so many things like this that make modern technology like this incredible in many ways! I bet you feel like your soul is getting a huge missing piece brought back into it!
It really does feel like a huge piece of me has been returned. It's really amazing when I stop and think about it.
I'm glad knowing you got this great opportunity! I know a family member who was adopted and I think she still had no idea who her real family is.
It can be a real struggle. When I was younger I really wanted to know about potential health problems. Then it just got to be that I WANTED to find out. So I kept on looking...
Finding a family you didn't know about really sounds like a great day.
Especially considering this:
My (adopted) brother and I started looking just about the time he graduated high school. It wasn't any where near an obsession but we kept at it more or less for 50 years.
We knew much more about his birth family until I spit in the tube. He has since spit in his own tube and knows a lot more than before, too. He has 3 siblings he hasn't been united with...
Damn that's a nice story, Tom.
I have a blood brother I didn't meet until I was about 37, he's a junky, poor fucking guy, not sure the last time I talked to him.
He and I have the same dad, a puke I've never met. Very cool for you to get connected.
There is always that possibility, isn't there?
The really good news? I was the alcoholic/addict for my family and had been sober for almost 30 years when I found them.
My birth father was the superintendent of schools when I graduated High School. He was a senior in college when my mother became pregnant. ALL my new siblings agree that he never knew. He was in Korea (the war) when I was born...
So, I was really lucky. Really good family and structure on both sides...
Yeah I know lots of families like that unfortunately. It's a shame but things turn out different ways and people make choices. Got a relative that's all fucked up because they choose to constantly "oh woe is me" type stuff. Grow up, grow a pair and move on with life is what I'd love to say.
It seems you've turned out quite well despite the blood-relatives not being upstanding citizens so that's good.
Wow! I'll say this definitely counts as a happy experience for you. Finding out that you have family members alive and around must satisfying. This is the first I'm reading about 23 and Me. I'll check out it. I'm glad you are united with your brother and niece.
I'm at least electronically connected with all of them. 8 siblings and 11 nieces and nephews on my mom's side. It's been really pleasant.
Oh wow, this is great!! 😲
We have so many similarities that it will frighten you Sir Tom.
But I was dumb enough to walk away from the first one after 18 years of a hell marraige.
Consoled myself with the fact that my kids would have a father,
Alcoholic hell raising youth and many other troubles, but thankfully maturity brought with it a sense of calm and positivity. Today my kids are well, have solid jobs and don't take drugs.
What more could a father want!
Such a bright spot your year has been in an otherwise dark time for so many.
Great story. Script or Book possibility?
@bigtom13 I am happy for you that you could find your niece, and especially if you are in touch now. It must have been so good feeling when you found out!