Mate! Well done on being strong enough to hold them down at 14 and 16 to force affection upon them. :P Put me in those shoes at that age, and I'd be rebelling and trying to push away. I am sure they do, but I am grateful that you put an effort in for them, and importantly, for yourself. It is really responsible.
The thing about your situation is that I am sure that your father had unresolved grief for a time and was probably really struggling with juggling everything together, particularly in their head.
Thank you for sharing your story, it is amazing to read all the other people coming out and writing about their own experiences, it is more emotion to go through than I was prepared for today, but not every day is meant to be easy!
Haha. That might give a weird view on things 😂
But I noticed the emoticon :P
I have two girls, that might make a difference. And they have grown up receiving a lot of hugs, so they are used to is. Sometimes I even get a spontaneous one from them 🫨
Only not in public...
It surely wasn't easy for him as a single parent with a 17 year old that didn't talk a lot and was a lot on the streets or behind his computer. Surely because we didn't talk a lot before my mom died. She was the communicative one.
It did open my eyes later on in life. I know try to make time to really talk to my kids and be there for them. I think that pays out.
It's good to sometimes release the pressure by writing or talking about these things. It can help put things in perspective.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger...
Take care!
Or, as the song I was listening to at the gym today went, "What doesn't kill me, makes me vicious" :)
May you and your family have a lovely and wonderful day.
❤️