The ink well weekly fiction #4:The Way Home

in The Ink Well3 years ago

Dan glared into space as he perceived the beautiful garden that shrouds him, nothing had altered except the maidens and men servants who serve the household. He latched his fist to his jaw, sitting at the tower, and viewed the city, there was more about the life outside he needed to know.
Dan is a young man who was born without a silver spoon but after the death of his parents, he was brought up by his uncle who was a known and wealthy man in Cameron. Dan at a point realized he was only an abducted child, someday, this comfort and pleasure might be withdrawn from him, the only solution to it was to return to his root- where he came from and learn how to live among them.

It wasn't all he had envisioned as he dwelled among his people, in fact, a complete opposite of where he lived, the lifestyle around there made him break into cold sweat. He’s heard it’s a good place to get rolled, so he keeps patting his wallet, making sure it’s there, congratulating himself on just how alert and cautious he’s being. Everyone lived as bondmen except the thugs who rule the town with several forms of bullies.
"How had his parents survived here for so long" he thought. Been served as royalty conceded so many hardships the poor and average suffered. He had frowned severally at the price of commodities, shrink into self at the kind of water and food the poor could afford.

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Hello @dwixer,
A journey of self-discovery and principle. Going home is more than changing physical environment. It's coming to terms with life, with your parents and your roots. It is, as your protagonist comes to understand, a choice. A very clear and sympathetic character arc you create in this piece.

Thank you!

This is an interesting and enjoyable story, @dwixer. The contrasts are powerful between the "haves" and "have nots." I liked the determination your protagonist arrives at in the end - that it's not what you own, but what's in your heart that drives happiness.

This rich description is inspired:

He walked up into the old dilapidated building, cobwebs filled the space, broken woods and ceilings scattered on the dirty floor. Hanging on the wall was an old and wrinkled picture that captured his parents smiling.

Hi dwixer

Sounds like Dan had a hard life. I particularly like your descriptions of the town and building

He walked up into the old dilapidated building, cobwebs filled the space, broken woods and ceilings scattered on the dirty floor. Hanging on the wall was an old and wrinkled picture that captured his parents smiling.

Which add to the sad feeling of this homecoming. Putting across feeling like this through description of environment is a great writing technique.

Enjoyed reading the story mate :)

Incredible story @dwixer; I share the old man's philosophy of life, home even hardship is home, "lífє ís thє prσduct σf whαt чσu chσσσsє, sαdnєss αnd hαppínєss ís α αlsσ α chσícє". Thank you for sharing.

 3 years ago  

Hello @dwixer I liked your character and how he has an awareness about himself and his surroundings. I feel he recognizes the difference between his upbringing in less than favorable surroundings and his relative's more upscale living.

A lovely story of enlightenment. Your character realizes that it's not where you live, it's how you choose to deal with what life has dealt you if you have no way to improve your situation. The smile on his parents' faces revealed this truth to him.

I was wondering whether your translator picked up the right word when you say that Dan was abducted. Maybe the word should be "adopted" by his uncle? Just wondering.

Anyway, thanks so much for sharing this story. It contains a life lesson about how you view your life as compared to others who may possess more material items of comfort.

Take care.