Your story reads like fiction!
How stupid and how immature to put drugs in people's drinks. It spoils the idiosyncratic decision to try psychedelics if one feels curiosity about them. I've had a few trips myself, most were worth their experience for me and I wouldn't want to miss them. However, I was strict about who I wanted to go on a trip with and when, and would have found it infamous for someone to drug me without my knowledge. By the time I was in my mid-twenties, I had been asked countless times to try it. I always said no until I felt I was ready. The fact that you are repeatedly asked whether you want to take this or that substance requires that you move in the corresponding scenes, like we were in the techno clubbing or goa party scene back then.
As long as you actively seek loss of control, I have found that getting involved takes the fear out of the whole thing, even though it is a risky act. However, without the willful preconceived willingness to let such things affect you, it is impossible to develop a positive attitude towards it.
In any case, you have put what you remembered into words very vividly and excellently portrayed your feelings at the time for the reader.
Thank you for your wonderful insights and valuable contribution to the conversation, as usual, 💗
That really is the nail on the head, isn't it? At the end of the day... CONSENT should be what prevails. And if the people involved are not informed and willing actors, then the play should not proceed. Full Stop. In my twenties, I willingly tried zol or marijuana/cannabis as it is more commonly known. To be honest, I never really inhaled it deeply. I guess I was not all in on the idea, but still wanted to try... and so in holding back somewhat and only holding the smoke in my mouth, with very little going into my lungs (it felt uncomfortable to inhale properly - like inhaling bonfire smoke !LOLZ) ... I did not really experience any real effects. I guess I have never been predisposed to experiment with drugs of any kind... and even when given the opportunity in a relatively safe environment (with friends) - I opted out... mostly. I had friends that did recreational drugs, party drugs, and later some stronger stuff too - they were always pretty organised about it and CONSENT was always key. For a time we drifted apart as our lives just did not fit together very well... once they started with the pill-popping, the evening kinda fell apart in terms of being on the same page emotionally, mentally, and intellectually - as they were off on their own mission. !LUV !ALIVE !PIMP
I would say that it is about loss of control. Those who consciously participate in this loss of what seems safe to them increase the likelihood that they will find what happens to them on drugs less frightening. But the highest of all disciplines, I would say, is to accept a loss of control even when it is unintentional and unpremeditated. The fear of dying or going crazy in an experience is the greatest fear people can have. Not really being in control of your bodily functions and what your mind does can turn into something you didn't expect (on both sides, the frightening and the non frightening).
It is precisely this unexpectedness, the surprisingness of it, that makes such an experience a kind of maturity test for me. I think that the many literatures and films about it express the journeys people have made to explore their minds. If there were no risk involved, it would never reach the dimensions that we, unless we have entered that space ourselves, can begin to see. I think the borderline experiences that people seek are valuable. For me personally, my drug experiences were such that I treated them with a certain respect, and although I hadn't really had anything spiritual in mind, i.e. taking LSD or Psylos hadn't been intended to give me an esoteric enlightenment, it was then that it transported just that. The unintentionality granted me what I neither wanted nor did not want.
Under the influence of drugs, I felt life in a way I never had before. Probably the most impressive thing for me was that the distortion of perception and the disturbed sense of reality did not seem like a distortion or a disturbance, but rather like an (unfamiliar) alternative. Not very different from, for example, putting on infra-red glasses and then suddenly being able to see in the dark. But without knowing what infra-red glasses would even be.
Part of my mind found this experience hilarious. Never have I felt a similar amusement, a fun in being human, like after eating mushrooms. I will never forget this indescribable funniness of the moment, this cosmic laughter inside me. It did something to me for which I am deeply grateful. The very fact that this existence, this planet, was able to create an interaction between me and mushrooms, that my chemistry with the substances of another life form led to such a reaction, still amazes me and I find something deeply astonishing about it at all, a wonder that cannot be described.
That's why I'm often a bit annoyed by the matter-of-factness with which, for example, the gazettes say "the body's reaction is nothing but a biochemical reaction", as if that were a piece of cake. As if one had to get out of the habit of wondering about something. As if we had everything under control.
Don't get me wrong, a maturity test has to be experienced by the one going through it either in a field of the many who have ritualised such a test with prior knowledge and experience, goodwill but also determination, or else, as in my case (and probably in the vast majority of a modern society), the first time is a conscious decision made by a clear mind. For example, if someone gave me a trip now, I would know that I had been drugged. I would still not find it okay, but I would know that the trip would pass again. As I was already on a bad trip and I really wished it would pass as it was quite scary. Yet, part of me was not really in fear of death or madness. It was like in the fairy tale with Hansel and Gretel, where I knew the breadcrumbs would bring me back to the path and I wouldn't get lost.
It is therefore remarkable that you experienced your trip where you knew neither the dose nor the drug. And where apparently there was no one benevolent to get you and your husband through that night. But you survived and you now had an excellent story to tell :)
I really like to talk about those experiences, lol. Stating the obvious.
I hear you. Yes, that happens for sure. That's why the people who take drugs want everyone "in".
There can be something quite joyful in voluntary loss of control... and yes, even if not entirely voluntary... if there is some realisation that it is happening and the effects can be experienced fully and appreciated for what they are, and the experience managed to some extent, then I can see where you are going with that argument. But... in my case... I did not consent to ingest drugs. I was not aware that I was being drugged. I had no previous experience taking drugs. And when it happened, I lost the rest of the afternoon. It truly is a blank to me. I have no idea what I did or said during that time. That is disconcerting and not acceptable to me as I was not given the opportunity to prepare myself for the experience. My only experience that I have any recollection of was hallucination and pain, after becoming conscious of my surroundings again. I am also baffled as to why nobody else appreciated that we had been drugged, unless everyone had been drugged, or perhaps we were just acting like super happy intoxicated people at a party lol... I have no idea... as I was not all there... but I do wish I knew what had happened in that missing hour or two... !ALIVE
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Without prior consent, it remains a misdeed of those who have imposed an experience on you that you did not ask for. Nothing will bring back the missing memory unless you ask someone with whom you are still in contact and who you assume could give you an answer? Seems unlikely after the way you described the event. No one would agree that drugging someone on purpose is justifiable. Because it isn't. But since it did happen and is irreversible, I thought it was creative how you dealt with the experience literarily and used it creatively to tell your story. To have survived the situation without putting yourself or others in danger during that time is a fact, isn't it? Similar to sharing other experiences where you found yourself in mortal danger and came out of that danger unscathed. What does not kill us can make us strong, I think there is something to this saying.
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@erh.germany! You Are Alive so I just staked 0.1 $ALIVE to your account on behalf of @samsmith1971. (5/10)
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