Wow... This is really beautiful with a dreamlike quality to it.
All Ritchie wanted was more quality time with his brothers and he got just that on his birthday.
A really touching use of the prompt, i love the easy relationship of Ritchie with everyone. Even those on the train, has the characteristics of someone that doesn't like trouble.
I'm glad i read your story.
Thank you very much, @bruno-kema. Maybe I was sleepy when I wrote it! Ha ha. Thanks very much for your kind words, and for taking the time to read my story.
A beautiful children's story that encourages us to perpetuate the necessary habit of accompanying the children when they go to sleep, reading and singing to them.
This story has a very appreciable social sense.
It explains and models the feeling and effect of companionship on infants' daydreams and dreams, and thus how we can access the deepest desires, such as Ritchie's need for the closeness of his siblings.
This beautiful story realises, vividly, every infant's fantasy of trains, thank you for summarising it and posting it on @theinkwell@jayna.
I remember the thrill of hearing my parents and grandparents tucking me into bed with a story. I also loved to hear my name jump out of the story and invite me to be a part of it! Your story almost had tiny shades of the Polar Express with its whimsy and magic to bring the little boy along on a grand adventure. I smiled throughout the whole story @jayna! What a sweet way for me to begin this week on such a fairy-tale adventure! Thank you for this!
Yes, it is certainly an homage to Polar Express, and other stories where the child gets to take on a much larger role than would be possible in real life. Thank you for reading, @stormcharmer!
I love stories like this, that allow us to see the world through fanciful mind of a child. Takes us right back to those early years where anything was possible. :-)
Thanks for stirring up beautiful childhood memories, @jayna.
Mum's bed, huge (it was a normal bed but in my memory it was huge, as we could all fit in it), mum's stories, with built-in songs and dad promising a coin to the first one to fall asleep (no one ever got to claim the prize, of course).
I loved the name of the town: Morningtown!
Thank you for the beautiful children's story! I imagined myself reading it to a child, with the print on paper, in my hands.
That pleases me so much that the story reminded you of your own childhood and bedtime rituals, @gracielaacevedo. With children's stories, it is always so nice if it captures the interest of the adults as well. 😁
Hello @jayna,
This story could serve as a master class in story writing. Everything works. Structure, imagery, characterization. Not only is Ritchie transported, but so are readers. I love Grandma! I think my favorite line in the piece is this:
Ritchie could see her bright false teeth in the glow of the swirling stars
This detail captures the moment, and the charm of every grandma.
Ohhh what a beautiful story, it reminded me of the Polar Express the Christmas movie. It is a clear example of a children's story and I will take it as an example to continue writing.
Thank you for that very kind comment, @ricardo993. Yes, it does indeed pay homage to Polar Express, although I aimed for a lighter tone. I've always found that movie to be quite dark for a children's film - dark colors and rather sinister characters! Beautiful, though.
What a better destination than morning! It was a charming and entertaining children's story, @jayna. I'm fond of children's lit, and I loved this story. The imaginations of children are like this, full of excitement and dangers but also of kindness and nice mates.
Thanks for sharing :)
PD. I couldn't help thinking about Chris Van Allsburg's "The Polar Express":D
Thanks for reading, @marlyncabrera! Yes, the story most definitely pays homage to Polar Express. There is something magical about trains in the minds of children.
Hi again, @jayna. I've just seen you know I'm back. I had a hard time trying to overcome my writer's block (too many things going on; long story). But I'm back, and it felt wonderful when I wrote the last line and was finally ready to edit.
Thank you @jayna for the beautiful story, I use to love my grandma singing to me and reading stories. I love children stories, they are so innocent and trusting. Loved the train ride. Thank you for sharing, have a great day.
Thank you for sharing that memory, @ubani1. That's a lovely image - the children hearing stories under the mango tree! I'm glad this story reminded you of a pleasant time in your own childhood.
Wow... This is really beautiful with a dreamlike quality to it.
All Ritchie wanted was more quality time with his brothers and he got just that on his birthday.
A really touching use of the prompt, i love the easy relationship of Ritchie with everyone. Even those on the train, has the characteristics of someone that doesn't like trouble.
I'm glad i read your story.
Thank you very much, @bruno-kema. Maybe I was sleepy when I wrote it! Ha ha. Thanks very much for your kind words, and for taking the time to read my story.
A beautiful children's story that encourages us to perpetuate the necessary habit of accompanying the children when they go to sleep, reading and singing to them.
This story has a very appreciable social sense.
It explains and models the feeling and effect of companionship on infants' daydreams and dreams, and thus how we can access the deepest desires, such as Ritchie's need for the closeness of his siblings.
This beautiful story realises, vividly, every infant's fantasy of trains, thank you for summarising it and posting it on @theinkwell @jayna.
Thank you for the very charming comment, @theinkwell!
I remember the thrill of hearing my parents and grandparents tucking me into bed with a story. I also loved to hear my name jump out of the story and invite me to be a part of it! Your story almost had tiny shades of the Polar Express with its whimsy and magic to bring the little boy along on a grand adventure. I smiled throughout the whole story @jayna! What a sweet way for me to begin this week on such a fairy-tale adventure! Thank you for this!
Yes, it is certainly an homage to Polar Express, and other stories where the child gets to take on a much larger role than would be possible in real life. Thank you for reading, @stormcharmer!
I love stories like this, that allow us to see the world through fanciful mind of a child. Takes us right back to those early years where anything was possible. :-)
Thanks for stirring up beautiful childhood memories, @jayna.
Mum's bed, huge (it was a normal bed but in my memory it was huge, as we could all fit in it), mum's stories, with built-in songs and dad promising a coin to the first one to fall asleep (no one ever got to claim the prize, of course).
I loved the name of the town: Morningtown!
Thank you for the beautiful children's story! I imagined myself reading it to a child, with the print on paper, in my hands.
That pleases me so much that the story reminded you of your own childhood and bedtime rituals, @gracielaacevedo. With children's stories, it is always so nice if it captures the interest of the adults as well. 😁
Thank you for reading!
Hello @jayna,
This story could serve as a master class in story writing. Everything works. Structure, imagery, characterization. Not only is Ritchie transported, but so are readers. I love Grandma! I think my favorite line in the piece is this:
This detail captures the moment, and the charm of every grandma.
Congratulations on a great train story.
What a delightful comment, @agmoore. Thank you for the very kind compliment!
I'm so glad to hear that the story resonated with you. That made my day!
Ohhh what a beautiful story, it reminded me of the Polar Express the Christmas movie. It is a clear example of a children's story and I will take it as an example to continue writing.
Truly a very beautiful story.
Thank you for that very kind comment, @ricardo993. Yes, it does indeed pay homage to Polar Express, although I aimed for a lighter tone. I've always found that movie to be quite dark for a children's film - dark colors and rather sinister characters! Beautiful, though.
What a better destination than morning! It was a charming and entertaining children's story, @jayna. I'm fond of children's lit, and I loved this story. The imaginations of children are like this, full of excitement and dangers but also of kindness and nice mates.
Thanks for sharing :)
PD. I couldn't help thinking about Chris Van Allsburg's "The Polar Express":D
Thanks for reading, @marlyncabrera! Yes, the story most definitely pays homage to Polar Express. There is something magical about trains in the minds of children.
Will we see your stories in The Ink Well soon?
Hi again, @jayna. I've just seen you know I'm back. I had a hard time trying to overcome my writer's block (too many things going on; long story). But I'm back, and it felt wonderful when I wrote the last line and was finally ready to edit.
Thank you @jayna for the beautiful story, I use to love my grandma singing to me and reading stories. I love children stories, they are so innocent and trusting. Loved the train ride. Thank you for sharing, have a great day.
@artywink, I apologize I missed your very kind comment from several weeks ago. Thank you so much!
You are so welcome @jayna .
Thank you for sharing that memory, @ubani1. That's a lovely image - the children hearing stories under the mango tree! I'm glad this story reminded you of a pleasant time in your own childhood.