Garey the soothsayer and Emma.

in The Ink Welllast year (edited)

Emma was on her way out to the gym when Garey stopped her, "Young lady, you will have a bad day today, if you are not careful", Garey said to her.

(Image not shown due to low ratings)

(Image not shown due to low ratings)




Images were hidden due to low ratings.
Sort:  

I love the action-filled in this story, Emma was just unfortunate though.

Congratulations @lydiapauline! You have completed the following achievement on the Hive blockchain And have been rewarded with New badge(s)

You got more than 100 replies.
Your next target is to reach 200 replies.

You can view your badges on your board and compare yourself to others in the Ranking
If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word STOP

Check out our last posts:

The Hive Gamification Proposal
Support the HiveBuzz project. Vote for our proposal!

You have a nice arc in this story, @lydiapauline. You fill in all the pieces so that we understand Emma's motivation and behavior. We do have an issue with the merciless beating. There are ways to depict the bad consequences that befall Emma without having her dragged off and beaten by thugs. Please refer to our guidelines on violence. Almost always you can get your point across without resorting to extreme violence. At least you didn't go into details about what the beating did to her. And you didn't kill her off.

Your dialogue is very effective. However, the format would benefit from some work. Please check out @jayna's post on dialogue.

Thank you for sharing this story with us, @lydiapauline. We appreciate that you engage with other authors in the community.

If only she had listen to the soothsayer, she would have avoided all the mess that happened to her. Even without the vision, most times it is not every situation that we settle violently.