This story will be about the song "creep." I just listened to it and I could relate a little bit. That's the reason that I'm writing it now.
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It happened long ago when I experienced love at first sight for the first time. I was sitting down in the park to relax while watching the surrounding. I was watching the happy faces of the children and some people were smiling. I spaced out when I enjoyed watching the birds in the ground searching food. I didn't know what I was doing but when I came back to my senses I was smiling alone. I thought that it was time to go so I stood up. Blatantly I gazed to a woman sat next to that corner. She was so pretty that her smile could make a dead person comes back to alive. To be clear, she looked an angel into my eyes. I got back where I was sitting and obviously staring at her while I felt happy inside.
My plans of walking away were being forgotten because of this woman. I didn't know her but I wish to know her and be friends with her. The time came that she needed to leave. She was walking towards in her car and I followed her with my eyes. For a short of time, I thought I fell already towards her. It made me sad as I saw her leaving away and faded my sight. I just then went home with a sadness in my heart not being able to introduce myself to her. I lied down in my bed to sleep but I had a hard time sleeping. I kept on thinking of her how will I saw her again.
"She's so pretty, how could I introduce myself to her." I was talking to myself while lying.
"Berni come" She was calling me while smiling. She was running away and she wanted me to catch her. We were at the beach running around like children. We enjoyed the time together as I was tailing her to catch her and could hug her. When I caught up and finally to hug her.
"Damn, it was just a dream," I said to myself while being disappointed that it's not real. I stood up, prepare to work and hoping I could see her again.
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"Excuse me miss," I said to a woman I caught up while I was walking fast to catch her and hoping that was her.
"Yes?" The woman turned around when I called her but she was not her.
"I'm sorry, I mistook you for someone else." I felt ashamed to myself and left right away.
Weekdays ended like it's very long because of eagerness to see her. I wasn't losing my hope and stayed again in the park thinking that she might be there. I wasn't wrong because she was there again with her friends. I didn't hide but I opened a book like I was reading it. I was doing that for me to hide my real intention and that was to stare at her when she's looking in different directions. I didn't do anything but you could say stalker her. I never got tired sitting and did nothing. I was focused on staring at her that I didn't know the time was ticking.
Yes, she left with her friends and this time she's just walking. I was happy because at that time I could follow her and hoping to learn where she lives. I followed her from a distance of course so that she wouldn't notice me. Her friends have separated their ways already and I stopped for a bit. I saw her walking towards me and I felt insanely nervous. I just bought a cigarette in the store to have an alibi. She didn't stop walking towards me and I felt my heart was going to explode. I couldn't lit my cigarette because of nervousness that I dropped my lighter.
"What should I do?" I asked myself repeatedly because of being afraid that she might found out I was tailing her.
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I picked up the lighter with shaking hands. I stand up again and when I stood up I was facing her. Her face was so near that I felt uncomfortable. She smiled at me for I didn't know the reasons. Maybe she was nice or something but I didn't think about it. I kept on moving my eyes to avoid her eyes that were looking at me. I then decided to move away because my whole body was trembling already. Then I found out this store was their house when she went inside. I was smiling after I knew where she lived.
Before going to work and after work I stayed in this store to buy a cigarette. That was just my diversion to see her all the time. I saw her leaving their house to work by riding on a car and I saw her arriving home after work. I did that for almost a month and I wasn't sure if she noticed me being there all the time. The more stayed in their house I finally knew her. I just heard her mom calling her, "Janice." I also learned that she's a good daughter. She cleaned their house while I stayed in their store and having a conversation with her mother. I just saw her working house chores by cleaning outside their house. She's not wearing makeup and she didn't fix herself but she's still very pretty. I loved her more because of it and time came I finally realised.
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When finally I knew her very well I suddenly felt guilty of what I was doing. I stayed in the park alone and thinking about this stupid thing I did to her. I came back to my senses and promised I wouldn't stalk her ever again. I accepted that she couldn't be mine because of the differences in our appearance. She was so pretty and I wasn't handsome, to begin with. I petty myself for acting that way. I felt the pain inside as I was thinking of her. I thought that we can't be together for sure.
"Hey, it's you, right?" Janice asked me suddenly while I was sitting in the park. "That guy who always stayed in our store?"
I felt ashamed because she now knew who I was. "She knew maybe that I was stalking her," I said to myself while remained silent. I didn't know how to answer her question because it will be just an obvious lie.
I stood up and left without a word. "Wait, why?" She said when she saw me walking away. "Where are you going?"
I didn't know what was her intention by acting that way. But I accepted already that we can't be together after what I did to her. The feeling that I was like a creep of following was enough to avoid her. She followed me but I managed to lose her. Since then I stopped following her because of feeling embarrassed to myself. It was the most stupid things I did and I must live with it.
thank you for reading
mrnightmare