Feeling lonely with the help of chilling wind from late at night. Grasping my both shoulders with the two hands, watching the big beautiful moon. The quiet surroundings help me to be sad which is what I love. Part of it is likely to pierce my heart with nails, left my heart bleed, and yet I want to feel it again and again.
"Are you sad as well?"
A teardrop from the eyes with a forced smile looking to the moon above.
"I know you will not, you can observe all of us who are in the ground."
A gust of wind suddenly made me feel cold. From that wind could tell there's rain coming. I went inside immediately, slowly raindrops fell to the rooftop one by one. It provides so much noise, all I can hear is the sound of rain that makes the night lonelier.
"How long will I stay like this?" asked myself with pitied words.
"Oh, it's morning already."
I don't remember how I fell asleep last night. I just heard the loud noise from the vehicles that woke me up. Immediately, I went outside just to roam around.
The sun passed so fast, not like a bullet train but I didn't notice that the surroundings turned darker. Again, another night to spend outside to caress the beauty of the moon above.
This became my daily activity even though I don't remember how I became immortal. I keep on looking above hoping that time will come to ascend to heaven. It is just getting lonelier each day seeing myself stays the same while others get old. It hurts so much seeing my loved ones die in front of me. I want to join them but the curse from my ancestors passed to me because I was the youngest.
At first, I thought it was fun to live more than hundreds of years living in this world. But the happenings that happened, again and again, kill me with so much pain. Although, not physically which is what I hope for. Still, it's impossible because I need to live in this world for centuries.
I have no choice but to keep on talking to the moon every night.
END...
images are mine
mrnightmare
I had read several of your short stories. I must commend that it continually improve, one story at a time. !discovery 20
Thanks, it's hard for me to tell since it was me who wrote it. I wanted to write like those who are already good in writing which will not be easy I guess.
My friend, God will heal your heat. Where are you staying?
This is a beautiful piece. The narrator connects with another immortal presence, the moon. There is a gentle story arc, almost poetic in its movement. You allow us to see that what may be a gift to some--long life--can actually be a tragic burden. Your choice of words in this piece is effective:
Thank you for posting this story in the Ink Well community. And thank you for engaging with your fellow writers.
Actually, I never thought it would work out. I was written this longer compared to my other stories. It's hard for me especially in using english words which are not easy for me to compose.thanks
Hello mrnightmare,
This is so well told. You explore a theme that is as old as religion: is death a curse or a release? The issue is explored emotionally in your piece. Through that emotion we feel the despair of the narrator and are left with the impression that death may actually be a gift.
A very moving story.
I thought of letting it flow differently. I kept using words which would be shorter but contains a lot of emotions. I'm glad that some of you liked it.
A fantasy long cherished by many becomes reality in someone and this fact produces an indescribable nostalgia. We feel the narrator's helplessness against the curse that has befallen him.
True, wether it's a gift or a curse but we only realize when time passed longer while watching those we loved leaving us. Thank you.
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That would indeed be a lonely existence! At least the narrator has found company with the moon so he has someone to talk to. Your story explores something we can only imagine — becoming immortal and being able to see those we've left behind continue to progress into the ends of their lives. Great premise for a story!
Yes, because I thought the moon has always be there and wouldn't leave him.
Oh, that was a nice little tale. I really enjoyed the melancholic, musing tone of the narrative voice.
I like depictions of immortality and the loneliness it brings. It was an interesting choice of topic.
Well done!
I want to write like you. I want to use words like yours and I found it so hard. I wrote it shortly because I think I was not ready to write that way. Anyway, thanks for kind words.
I can imagine. It took me a long time to get to the level of writing I am now. I guess, the best advice I can give you is to keep writing and in time you will develop a feel for words and sentences.
I still think it was a really good effort. Keep writing and keep trying, you will definitely improve and I think you've made some fantastic first steps! Good luck!