The first night we slept at our home. After the honeymoon. 2am. I sat up on the bed, the cold air hugging my skin, I looked at you lying there beside me, my eyes widened with reality. This is my new reality. I'm married.
Normally, that should have made me glad. I had spent the past months fantasizing about the moment I get to be home with you. But sitting there in real time, many thoughts hit me. I walked out to the sitting room and back. Like waves on a troubled sea, reality struck again. This has happened. I am married.
The tears started pouring. My sobs woke you up. You wanted to know why. You asked what was wrong, if I was unhappy. I shared as I could because I couldn't really tell. I missed my Dad, my Mum. I missed the feeling of safety knowing they were in the other room. It's how I've always been - a Daddy's girl. I hated myself for it. Felt like a weakling, an overgrown baby, too dependent to be the independent strong woman my society praises. Growing up, I felt inferior for so many reasons and this was one of them. And in that moment as feelings came again.
You held me close. Whispered words of comfort. Assurance. And as you spoke, my heart warmed with memories of how protective, Fatherly and motherly you've been to me. There was no need to be scared. Abba chose you for me. Abba knew I needed a man like you. One who would not trample on my dependence.
I remember the first Sunday in Church as a couple, you gave me a jotter and a pen. "Sunshine" you said, "This is your church's note. Use it just for church only, if you need more for other things, just let me know". It's how you are with me. A tender leader, a compassionate guide, my best friend.
I thank God for a number of things each day and you're 90% my thanksgiving. Even in conflict, it's your love for me that breaks the ice and quenches the fire. Your wisdom, your deep understanding and humility. You're uniquely made. Beautiful to be with. A blessing through and through.
God.
Business.
Technology and Innovation.
Those three things define your focus and drive. Your passion and goals. I love that God is CEO over your life. I love how you love the Father. How you let Him love me through you. How you love me through His leading.
Image taken from an iPhone 12pro
I REMAIN @OBRISGOLD1
I can only imagine how overwhelming it must have been when reality hits and you realize you've moved on too another stage of your life.
I think every lady needs a man like this in her life, it does not matter if you are an independent woman or not.
I wish you a blissful marriage and I hope you continue to find peace and comfort in your man. Cheers!
Yes every woman needs such a man in her life.😎
Thanks dear for stopping by 🙏
There are lot difference between when is single and when one is married.
Thanks for sharing post like this
Yes indeed they is a great difference 😎 thanks for stopping by @abimbola753
You capture a moment in time for one woman. This is the moment she believes she is confronting adulthood. She has married and in doing so believes she has transferred her dependence on her family to dependence on a husband. The dependence appears to be an important part of her personality,and it seems to be one with which her husband is in total agreement.
This is an interesting character study, a revelation, perhaps, to people from other cultures and other perspectives. Thank you for posting the story in the Ink Well community. Please be sure to read the work of other writers in the community and share comments with them. We are urging everyone who posts in The Ink Well to take this step, going forward, to ensure our community members are supporting one another. (We also have this in The Ink Well community rules on our home page and in our weekly writing prompts.) Thank you!
Thanks for the encouragement.
Hello @obrisgold1,
For me, this was an interesting exercise in cultural and personal perspective. As a woman who married many years ago, I can't imagine wanting to be dependent. As a woman, I always strove for freedom and independence. I think many women of my generation and circumstance felt the same way. And yet, there must be women looking for a man (or anyone) to take care of them.
This exercise you offer in perspective illustrates what is great about writing. Each of us gains insight to life experiences and points of view that may be vastly different from our own. In this way we all grow, I believe, and understanding between people increases.
@agmoore You are actually correct it all about personal decision.
Thanks for stopping by
What an admirable story! In addition to faithfully conveying the feelings of the narrator, it manages to convey a specific cultural vision. That of the cultures where arranged marriages are practised. I liked your writing. You touch on a very important subject with great sensitivity.
Hello @gracielaacevedo
thanks for stopping by, and thanks for the encouragement.
This is a beautiful and touching vignette in the life of a newly married woman, @obrisgold1. It's understandable that her emotions would be very mixed. The reality of actual marriage is never exactly what our imaginations conjure up. It is something different — in some ways better, in some ways a disappointment — but never precisely the same.
I really liked how you wrote this to share a feeling most people might experience in their lifetime. Getting married is definitely something only a few can deal with nowadays. Familiar environment seems to be a place we're never ready to leave.
Good job.
Thanks @gabmr for the comment and for visiting my blog