The rain drummed heavily ontop of the car roof as I drove speedily like a mad man on the high way to the hospital. I glanced down at my pregnant wife, Nessa, who was seated beside me, holding her protruding belly with one hand and squeezing my arms with the other. Her knuckles we're almost white from squeezing it too much.
"Hold on dear, we're almost there, I said trying to reassure her.
Inside the hospital, the nurses quickly ushered her in to the delivery ward. I held her hands each step of the way. The sound of the beeping monitors and the smell of the antiseptic one of the nurses prepared, gave me a reality check. This was really happening. I was finally going to meet my little daughter. The sound of Nessa grunts and pains echoed through my ears as I tried to comfort her . The nurses said it wasn't time yet.
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She gripped my shirt so tightly as she struggled through another contraction.
"Hold on dear" I tried comforting her.
She seemed so weak, I was almost afraid.
"Adrian, promise something" she spoke through the pain
"What is it?" I asked not liking where this was heading.
"Promise me, you'll choose her if anything happens " she said with a million emotions passing through her eyes
No" I shook my head, "Nothing is going to happen"
"Just promise me!" She spoke louder this time as she struggled with yet another contraction.
"You win some you lose some, if you ever have to make a choice, chose her, please" she said this time in a low voice, a small tear gathered around her eyes. I nodded, unable to say no.
The hours passed by so slowly, it killed me to see her in so much pain. She was getting weaker. Her blood pressure was high, the baby's heart beat was getting faint.
"Emergency C-section now!" One of the doctors shouted.
My fears we're coming to pass. I tried to get a grip on myself as I was ushered out of the room. But to no avail. I paced around the corridor like a mad man. I was loosing my mind.
I thought back to the moments back at home when we were decorating the baby's room. How Nessa laughed at me as I struggled to assemble the baby’s crib. It was the sweetest sound in the world. Or the endless nights I stayed up with her when she couldn't sleep arguing about the name to give our daughter.
I couldn't loose either of them, it would break me.
A nurse finally came out of the room
"Mr Adrian?"
"Yes, that's me" I quickly answered rushing towards her.
"The baby is safe and healthy. She is a strong one. She is in the ICU.
“And Nessa?” I asked with a trembling voice.
The nurse looked away, and hesitated for some seconds. And I felt my heart drop to my chest at that instant.
“We tried everything we could but she didn't make it” she said solemnly atlast.
I felt the world spin around me. I toned out after hearing those words, I didn't hear the rest. My knees felt weak, I collapsed on the nearest chair close to me, with my head in my hands. A small tear slipped through my eyes as the weight of her words sunk heavily on me. Why did death have to be so cruel, I thought bitterly.
As I sat there wallowing in my thoughts, a part of me desperately hoped, this was all some kind of prank and that she would somehow walk through that door, laughing at me with her soft voice, teasing me to no end like she often did. But that didn't happen.
Later, I was allowed into the ICU to see my daughter. I smiled for the first time that day, as I laid eyes on her. She was beautiful, a complete replica of her mother. I stood over the incubator watching her the steady rise and fall of her chest. she was small and fragile,
I leaned in closer, whispering her name, the one Nessa had chosen for her, Lilian.
“Your mom loved you so much that she gave you everything, including her life”. I spoke in a low voice.
In the weeks that followed, it was hard. Everywhere in the house reminded me of Nessa. Every corner I turned to, I would recall a memory of her. But as I held little Lilian in my hands, I remembered the promise I made.
“You win some, you lose some”
And Little Lilian here was the win that came from a loss I would forever carry.
hello @perfect20. We note from your comment on the contest post that you claim to have supported two writers' stories in the community. However, we are unable to find any evidence of this. Please can you share the links to that support. We cannot curate any submissions from an author if that author has not supported the works of others in the same entry week.
Sorry for the delay in comments @theinkwell. I was having some Network glitches.
Here are the links to the post I've commented
https://peakd.com/hive-170798/@perfect20/re-faithwellington-t6u3bs
https://peakd.com/hive-170798/@perfect20/re-rammargarita-t6u3fp
Thank you
🤦💔🥺
This is heartbreaking. I can't but imagine the kind of pain and sadness and all.
It's good to see you still holding on to hope and not letting go of Lilian.
Thanks for sharing such a beautiful and amazing piece 💞.
💯♥️💯
Your story has potential but would benefit from going deeper; more show than tell. There was also no backstory to why Nessa's health was at risk so her plea for her husband to choose should the situation arise, felt somewhat out of place. Your story needed more development in this area so that when the time came, we understood the stakes, the risks they had taken falling pregnant in the first place, the risks they had taken seeing out the pregnancy, and why it meant so much to Nessa. This would have allowed us to feel more immersed in the story and more in tune with the emotions that you try to evoke. In addition,your story would benefit from a light edit to correct for spelling errors, and issues with punctuation and grammar, and presentation of dialogue. Editing one's work (without extensive use of AI) is essential to ensure a quality submission. Work on these things and your stories will start to pop 💥 As regards commenting on other stories, please ensure that you comment BEFORE sharing your own story in future. Both your comment on the Inkwell prompt post, and your story submission, were published without issue. It seems that it should have been obvious to you if you had tried to post comments that were not posting. It is disingenuous to claim that you have supported other writers when you have not. On this occasion, as you have gone back and supported others, we have curated but this will not always be possible.
Duly noted. I will try to work on these things
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