This is a wonderfully crafted story. It has a flow of climax and anticlimax. The pace of the story builds and then relaxes, then builds again until that final delicious last line:
I had not bought tickets to the train
You keep a pace going that is almost comic, and yet at the same time a serious adventure. The image alone of the woman beating the thieves is hilarious. Then the fury of the thieves is turned on the narrator. Oh no, a frantic chase that barely ends in success. And then, as readers are about to exult in the narrator's victory, that wonderful, wry touch, he forgot to buy a train ticket.
Thank you for posting this story in the Ink Well community, @ubani1.Please be sure to read the work of other writers in the community and share comments with them. We are urging everyone who posts in The Ink Well to take this step, going forward, to ensure our community members are supporting one another. (We also have this in The Ink Well community rules on our home page and in our weekly writing prompts.) Thank you!
I felt like I was running along with him! You did a masterful job of helping us to feel the heart-pounding action from beginning to end! I laughed at the end 😅. Maybe he can pay twice next time ha ha!
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gasps You forgot to buy a ticket?? 😄 Seems you got a free ride then!
What a lovely, captivating story. I'm glad the lady fought for herself and escaped but it was due to the distraction you provided.
And then you were enjoying the view until you became their target. 😅 Lucky they did not get you. You did great with this week's prompt. 🙂
Thank you for giving the author such great feedback, @kemmyb
I got fully invested in the excitement of the story and the fast-paced tension! Great job, keep it up 😊
Thank you for engaging meaningfully with this author, @zedcell
This is a wonderfully crafted story. It has a flow of climax and anticlimax. The pace of the story builds and then relaxes, then builds again until that final delicious last line:
You keep a pace going that is almost comic, and yet at the same time a serious adventure. The image alone of the woman beating the thieves is hilarious. Then the fury of the thieves is turned on the narrator. Oh no, a frantic chase that barely ends in success. And then, as readers are about to exult in the narrator's victory, that wonderful, wry touch, he forgot to buy a train ticket.
Thank you for posting this story in the Ink Well community, @ubani1.Please be sure to read the work of other writers in the community and share comments with them. We are urging everyone who posts in The Ink Well to take this step, going forward, to ensure our community members are supporting one another. (We also have this in The Ink Well community rules on our home page and in our weekly writing prompts.) Thank you!
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This story is great fun, @ubani1 - a great mix of suspense and drama with a touch of humor. In the end it made me smile!
I felt like I was running along with him! You did a masterful job of helping us to feel the heart-pounding action from beginning to end! I laughed at the end 😅. Maybe he can pay twice next time ha ha!
Congratulations @ubani1! You have completed the following achievement on the Hive blockchain and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :
Your next target is to reach 80 posts.
Your next target is to reach 700 upvotes.
Your next target is to reach 10000 upvotes.
Your next target is to reach 1000 comments.
Your next target is to reach 800 replies.
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Thank you for engaging with this author, @cryptofi