Before the end of the year, we went through the tedious task of scaling down our stuff. Since I don't work in the office anymore, I made space in my closet. We did the same thing to my husband's clothes. The third and most important part of our scaling down process was the toys. My daughter has boxes and boxes of toys that are hidden under the bed, beside her study table, in the living room, and outside the house. We needed to trim down the number of toys especially when we know her aunts and uncles are about to give her new toys during the holidays. And we weren't wrong, which makes me glad we went through all the sorting and organizing.
We don't really buy the most expensive toys for her especially during her first years. We tried but she ends up playing with the empty boxes or PET bottles, and any other random items around the house. As she grew, she accumulated a lot of toys. Some well taken care of, some badly used and abused. I know that's something that we need to address. How mindful she plays with her toys.
The value of sharing
We have introduced to her the value of sharing and giving. Throughout the year last year, I slowly eased her into giving up some of her toys. Her fluffy toys do not occupy half the bed now. It was easy for her to give up the fluffy toys because she rarely plays with them, she just likes having random hug toys at night. This time, I wanted to take it to the next level. I wanted to see how she will react if she sees all of her toys in front of her, and be tasked with deciding whether she will keep them or give them.
I was actually surprised at how quickly she can decide which toys she would keep and give. I gamified the process where I would pick up a toy, then she would choose whether she would "Give it? or Keep it?" And much better, she made another pile. A throw it pile. That's for the toys that have been heavily damaged. We had a bit of a cute little argument before about throwing away her broken toys, she has that sentimentality and attachment to some of them. I sometimes discard those toys sneakily but she knows when she's missing something. This is why I was so ecstatic to see her willingness to throw away the broken toys. It just proves that what the grownups do, the children follow. She's been seeing me for days talking to her father about throwing away stuff we don't really need that can't be donated. I was happy to see her enjoying the activity. She thought we were just playing, but we are actually cleaning up and organizing the house.
It's not just about trimming the numbers down
Our "Give it or Keep it" portion is actually more than just scaling her toys down to a minimum. I am envisioning her to be a strong independent woman in the future who has a clear idea of what she wants and does not. And there's no other way to achieve that but by training her to be comfortable at choosing and deciding even at an early age. My part would be to guide her in making the right decisions but ultimately, her comfort level at deciding is something I think she should be practicing. And her being so into the "game" and even adding some modifications to it was so amazing.
After we have discarded her broken toys, and have chosen all the toys she would be giving away, we carefully boxed them and it's ready for pick up. What remains now are the toys that she chose to keep. There are still two huge boxes of toys in the house but I'm giving her the slack. After all, she's a kid that loves to play with cars, trucks, dolls, and playhouses. I love the variety of her toys and I love how she does not define the toys according to their gender. I guess it's because we did not really define it that way in front of her.
I took the time to make this mission toy organization into a teaching lesson.
Organizing her toys
She was really attentive and was listening to me while I teach her how to organize her toys. I gave her small boxes where she can put the small toys and stack them over each other before putting them away when she's done playing. The first few days to more than a week was a struggle but now, she's like clockwork. She pulls out the box of toys she wants to play with for the day, she scatters them all over the living room while playing but at the end of playtime, she would pick them up and put them away. At first, it was not as organized, but over time she's getting better at it. And now that she's the one cleaning up her own toys, she does not scatter them as much as she used to. She still asks for my help from time to time and I'm glad to assist.
Being mindful of her toys
She felt sad when she saw the toys that we needed to throw away during our activity. That's another teaching moment that I seized. It's a lot easier to just throw the toys mindlessly into the box. The goal is to put them away when the kids are not playing with them, right? I was able to impart to my kid that she should take care of her toys not only for herself but also for those kids that she would be giving the toys to when she wants to give them away in the future. Also, since she's been thinking and wanting to have a baby brother, (I'm not yet sold to having a second kid though) I take this chance to let her know that if she will have siblings in the future, they'll be able to play with her toys if she takes good care of her toys.
Keeping the house clean
Now that she's aware of how to keep her toys tidy and organized, she extends it to other parts of the house too. She now knows that everything should have its place and that there should be a place for everything. She's now my partner in keeping the house clean.
This activity has really opened up a lot of learning opportunities for me and my daughter. Personally, I have always took it upon myself to keep the house as tidy as I possibly can. But our activity taught me that even a 4-year-old can help out a lot. I was worried that it might be too burdensome for her. And she does complain sometimes but it turns out she just doesn't want to do it alone. She values our bonding more than anything else and I'm just happy to be present. It is amazing to see that our toddlers can actually absorb that much knowledge not just by listening to the words we say but also from the actions that we do. I know there's still a lot of toys that we need to discard and give away but I am still glad that we took that first step and now, I can see a lot of improvement not just in her, but also in me and in our house.
@romeskie is a full-time stay at home mom juggling homeschooling, crocheting, and homemaking. A Business Administration graduate with a major in Marketing who ended up in the contact center industry, on the frontlines, climbing her way up to Workforce Management where she found her passion in real-time analysis and management. A once self-proclaimed careerwoman who soon realized homemaking was her real calling. Her passion varies from reading, writing, photography, and most of all, crocheting.
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You're spot on. Although I don't have any kids myself, I know a lot of kids are just more interested in the packaging and whatever bits and pieces they find, to be honest I think every object is a toy to them.
I love how you are using toys to train her about sharing and tidiness. She sounds like such a smartie, I have a feeling she might be using that to get the little baby brother she wants!!!😉
She's been showing me how she's ready to take care of her baby brother. LOL
It's actually much easier for her to absorb information when she's enjoying the activity. That's why I try to insert as much learning sessions in our playtime.
This was something I always insisted upon with my girls; that they were part of the process when it came to deciding to move toys on. I agree that it's a great learning experience in so many ways. Firstly, it's a trust building situation. This way they know that you aren't going to get rid of toys without them realising and then feeling betrayed when they do find out. Admittedly, when they are very young they generally don't even realise or even have a sense of ownership, but once they start to develop that, then I feel that trust should be established.
Then I had the opportunity to discuss responsibility, organisation, gifting and sharing (as you've said) and I feel like it's a lesson that they have carried through to adulthood. They certainly don't have quite the same hoarding mentality as I grew up around.
I can say I had so much fun as much as she did on this activity. I love that it turned into a lecture filled bonding session. There will be more of these in the future so I am assured she will have enough training as she grows.
Wow. Maka proud how you taught her to be compassionate and generous. She'll really grow up carrying these values. More blessings and toys to her so she can give more too. <3