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RE: What has been your biggest success and biggest failure in life?

in Ask the Hive4 years ago

My biggest success: not losing myself and my drive in front of repeated failures (personal, business etc)

My biggest failure: trying to change people. Only later I learned I can't do that. I still work on this.

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It is too easy these ffays to get caught up under the influence of life, society and pressures to become something we are not. It is a big success to not get lost.

People change, rarely can anyone change people for the better, but can be the catalyst for change. Perhaps the best way to enact change in another, is be the change yourself. I hear "being the change" is not a bad path.

Yes! For things to change YOU have to change. Slowly slowly I started to work on this. Letting go to the idea of me changing people. You can love them the most and still people will not change unless they want to. It is a monumental failure to spend your life trying to change people. It gives only frustration, anger, sadness, regret. A waste of time. No more. I have to change myself and work on myself and others should do the same. It is not anyone's duty to force someone to educate themselves if they do not want it.

I also came to the conclusion that the good lasting change is the one coming from within. When people stop saying sorry and actually change the attitude which led to that behaviour.

Once I realised how futile is to change people, even if you want only the better for them, I have set myself free.

I think the other thing that needs to be realized is that it is okay to walk away from people who do not want to change - their path is theirs, ours is ours - it is good to accept them for what they are, but it doesn't mean you have to witness it. This is especially true in regards to self-destructive behaviors.

Yes, we do not have to join a journey which does not suit us. And taking part to someone's self destructive ways of living can't possibly be good. You can't waste your life trying to help them when they don't even help themselves. Actually it is rather toxic to be stuck in such patterns. I do now what others would call selfish, but I call it health: walk away. I would choose to save myself and lead the life I want rather than pity someone who does not see self destruction as a problem. Funny thing, if you walk away from a person like that, over the years, just out of curiosity, you might see that they are in the same spot, in mediocrity and negativity, only that they are wasting somebody else's time, not yours. And then you smile thinking : oh, so good I walked away🏃😂😉

Yep, and sometimes the act of being "unsupported" can lead to them taking responsibility for themselves and improving in a lasting way.

Oh I wish this would happen in at least 50% of the cases. Some might say thank you in 10 years from now for the hard lesson you gave them by walking away, some might not. Either way, the boots are made for walkin' on the good roads, no matter if you get a thx or not