What has been your biggest success and biggest failure in life?

in #hive-17373722 days ago

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A lot of the things we attempt don't work out as planned. Success and failure mean different things to different people, but I guess that there has to be some intention to accomplish something in the process in order to have either outcome, although for some people perhaps, the biggest failure in not making an attempt at all. I believe that reflection on what we have done and how we have got to this point can be a valuable step in the process for making a decision on what and how we are going to approach the future.

So, let's start at the polar extremes:

What has been your biggest success and biggest failure in life?

Taraz
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My biggest success was to find comfidence in myself again and my biggest failure was expecting my happiness to come from others

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my biggest failure was expecting my happiness to come from others

Good one! It takes some people a lifetime to not realize this :)

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My biggest failure was running a food business for quite a long time even though it was failing miserably.
My biggest success was finally able to let it go. That decision finally opened doors to many other opportunities.

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What do you think it was that held you back for so long and more importantly, what triggered the letting go?

It's hard to let go of something that you built from the ground and put all your time and effort into it. I was losing both time and money.
Eventually, my dad convinced me to sell the business. I was hesitant at first but finally gave in. I found a buyer and he gave me quite a reasonable price for it so I sold it.
Fast forward to the current time, now I work as a Developer 😄. Quite a career change considering I did my college in business administration.

It's hard to let go of something that you built from the ground and put all your time and effort into it.

I know this all too well. Glad you got a decent price and landed on your feet.

What kind of development do you do?

Oh yes, sorry for not being specific. I work as Web Developer, making websites, web application all those stuffs.

Brilliant!

https://hive.blog/hive-174578/@tarazkp/application-idea-re-quoted-input-requested

Have fun! ;D

I actually would love someone to give it a go as I think there are many aspects in there that could be valuable as an experience, but also broken out as individual components to be used elsewhere.

My biggest success when I got the teaching license, my biggest failure in marriage. In the middle, however, there are my children who raise failure to success.

Out of curiosity (you don't have to answer), did the failure of marriage help make you a better father?

The marriage failed after 26 years of marriage because my ex fell in love with another man and then they broke up. I was a bad husband maybe. My children were already of age and independent. We raised them very well and it seems that I was a good father.

husband and father are two very different roles, and being good at one doesn't make one good at another. I am not sure if it is to be great at one, or mediocre at both.

better good in both roles, I think you have what it takes to be.

My biggest success is when I found out Steem/Hive because never before we have decentralization as we have now for Freedom of Speech.

My biggest failure is when I annoyed everyone by my Spam, I learned my mistake and promised not to do the same wrongdoing again. Learned our lessons and made a new account like this one, lol. Cheers man @tarazkp

The freedom of speech is great, so I'd the freedom to engage.

The spam was indeed annoying, glad you have changed your approach :)

Great, followed you now not to miss any future post of yours. Cheers! 🍯

Breeding. I got three wonderful sons, and two horrible exes. Both my greatest success and my more horrible failure.

Life is a funny mix of ups and downs where the pars on the backs are less frequent than the slaps on the face. I think most parents have a good understanding of this.

My biggest success: not losing myself and my drive in front of repeated failures (personal, business etc)

My biggest failure: trying to change people. Only later I learned I can't do that. I still work on this.

It is too easy these ffays to get caught up under the influence of life, society and pressures to become something we are not. It is a big success to not get lost.

People change, rarely can anyone change people for the better, but can be the catalyst for change. Perhaps the best way to enact change in another, is be the change yourself. I hear "being the change" is not a bad path.

Yes! For things to change YOU have to change. Slowly slowly I started to work on this. Letting go to the idea of me changing people. You can love them the most and still people will not change unless they want to. It is a monumental failure to spend your life trying to change people. It gives only frustration, anger, sadness, regret. A waste of time. No more. I have to change myself and work on myself and others should do the same. It is not anyone's duty to force someone to educate themselves if they do not want it.

I also came to the conclusion that the good lasting change is the one coming from within. When people stop saying sorry and actually change the attitude which led to that behaviour.

Once I realised how futile is to change people, even if you want only the better for them, I have set myself free.

I think the other thing that needs to be realized is that it is okay to walk away from people who do not want to change - their path is theirs, ours is ours - it is good to accept them for what they are, but it doesn't mean you have to witness it. This is especially true in regards to self-destructive behaviors.

Yes, we do not have to join a journey which does not suit us. And taking part to someone's self destructive ways of living can't possibly be good. You can't waste your life trying to help them when they don't even help themselves. Actually it is rather toxic to be stuck in such patterns. I do now what others would call selfish, but I call it health: walk away. I would choose to save myself and lead the life I want rather than pity someone who does not see self destruction as a problem. Funny thing, if you walk away from a person like that, over the years, just out of curiosity, you might see that they are in the same spot, in mediocrity and negativity, only that they are wasting somebody else's time, not yours. And then you smile thinking : oh, so good I walked away🏃😂😉

Yep, and sometimes the act of being "unsupported" can lead to them taking responsibility for themselves and improving in a lasting way.

Oh I wish this would happen in at least 50% of the cases. Some might say thank you in 10 years from now for the hard lesson you gave them by walking away, some might not. Either way, the boots are made for walkin' on the good roads, no matter if you get a thx or not

My biggest success: Achieving to study the course of my dreams after 3 tries.

My biggest failure; lost a full tuition scholarship to study abroad not because I failed the exam but because I failed to convince my dad it's worth it.

but because I failed to convince my dad it's worth it.

That sucks hard. Why did he think it wasn't worth it?

It said he could not afford the money for accomodation after hearing it was $5000. It might be little there but here in my country, if they give me that money I am a rich man 😆😆😂.

It is "funny" how often money holds people back from education. It is by design.

Yeah. Most time, I feel everything happens for a reason. For a better good in the future.

I have looked back and I have thought if I have gotten the scholarship and travelled abroad, I won't have met the person that introduced me to Hive 😊 or met some people that I know now.

My biggest success, like Robert says, is my wife and kid for sure!

My biggest failure. Hmm I will have to think about that some more but I don't know of anything I would consider my biggest failure. I've had lots of failures like many people but were there any that were so drastic I would remember them explicitly? I don't know. If I were to choose one, I guess it would be letting people walk all over me for so long before I finally stood up and said no more. That refers to shitty family members lol

If I were to choose one, I guess it would be letting people walk all over me for so long before I finally stood up and said no more.

An interesting one - thanks for sharing.

That refers to shitty family members lol

Family have a lot to answer for. While they shouldn't be used as an excuse, it is often hard to break the pattern, especially under the "blood is thicker than water" concept.

That's for sure! My family thinks that because they have the phrase "family" in with their names, they can treat us like shit. We said fuck that last year and haven't looked back. They keep prodding and trying to get under our skin but life is easier without dealing with their shit. The unfortunate part is that all of them but 1 do this but the 1 suffers because they can't see us without being with them.

I've told them exactly what our issues are with them yet they just keep doing the same old thing lol oh well, we enjoy not having to stress about what next load of shit they are going to pull when we visit them.

We said fuck that last year and haven't looked back.

From what I have seen, when it gets to this point, it is generally for the best.

we enjoy not having to stress about what next load of shit they are going to pull when we visit them.

I am hoping that my daughter never feels like this.

I hear you man, I hope my son never feels this way as well! It's unfortunately what I've had to deal with for many years.

Without going into too much detail, I'm not the twinkle in my moms eye so I haven't received similar treatment as others have. Even more so because I'm far more independent than they are; I don't ask for help, I'm not an ass-kisser. Coupled with the fact that she abhors my wife, we get treated real swell!

The best thing we can do is instill our loving values and qualities in our children so that when they grow up they don't feel the rejection and disdain we did.

My biggest success in life:

  • To have been born and to have been able to land on this planet to do all the good and bad that I've been able to do with the very little that I've always had.

My biggest failure in life:

  • In fact, no prominent failure worth to highlight yet. But maybe there could be one, in case it took me too long to take off from this planet and return where I came from once again. };)

I didn't have much say in my birth, so I don't class it a my success - I have owned most of my life though. I wonder if any of us really leave on our own terms.

I didn't have much say in my birth,

Yeah me neither. But I would have to reckon that event as the biggest success in my life, since for my knowledge I've been told it wasn't an easy gestation due to an unexpected health accident suffered by my mom which put both of us in serious risk at the time of the childbirth. (Long story short)

I wonder if any of us really leave on our own terms.

Certainly, I think that's easily always a very possible & feasible event. But I have the hunch not many are inclined to choose that option. };)

But I have the hunch not many are inclined to choose that option.

I don't think that is "on one's own terms" as no one likely chooses to be in the situation that feels that is the option, as at that point, it might not be an option at all.

as at that point, it might not be an option at all.

Yeah pretty much that yes. And that's why destiny and the take off ends up taking us by "surprise" while us ignoring it was since the beginning "one's own terms" choice in first place.

People put the misplaced emphasis on the outcomes, not the process.

Exactly, and for the same reason we go through life like a restless grasshopper bouncing from misplaced processes to the other until we hit the ultimate jackpot.

that doesn't make me want to buy an x-box at all....

BIGGEST SUCCESS = My Wife and Kids
BIGGEST FAILURE - Not putting myself "out there" enough

For a moment there I thought you were going to add "how the kids turned out" as the failure :)

What do you mean by, "out there" enough?

Taking more risks and not shying away from that

Ever heard someone say "I wish i didn't take as many risks in life" ?

Success is the birth of a son

Failure is marriage.

Damn, one without the second not real, no matter how it turned out. It turned out interestingly, in order to achieve the greatest success, I had to go through the biggest disappointment :)

in order to achieve the greatest success, I had to go through the biggest disappointment :)

I wonder if this cost makes the success more valuable?

Hi, I need your advice, or rather an opinion.

Am I a gamer if I spend time daily for projects like splinterlands, exode and cryptodrewmaster or an investor? Where is the line?

It is possible to be both, which is pretty cool. Normally, a gamer buys a game from some software company and consumes it with no other gain than the act of consumption. On Hive, it is/could be possible to do this also, but generally people are buying into some percentage (even small) share of the future of the gaming "company" and ecxperience itself. It is like buying NHL 2020 and becoming a shareholder of EAsports through the purchase of the game.

That would change the world economy a lot ;)

I think that my biggest success somehow became my biggest failure.
Coming from a rural town in Venezuela, from a humble family, without contacts, it was very difficult to go to college. I manage to get scholarships to go to college here and eventually to go to Grad school in the States. Going to the States has been so far the pinnacle of my achievements. I became the father of two beautiful girls there and we had a great time. But once there many things happened and i was unable to finish my PhD. That has become a stigma that cost me dearly professionally and personally. That ABD and what derived from it in terms of lost opportunities,has been my biggest failure.

and what derived from it in terms of lost opportunities,has been my biggest failure.

I think the "lost opportunities" is a common failure, often though it is through a lack of trying at all. I know some highly gifted people who worked a bit early, but then just withered away. As one of the ungifted, it feels like a waste to me.

I think that my biggest success somehow became my biggest failure.

Often the case isn't it?

Are you still in the states or have you returned to Vene?

I am in Venezuela, since mid-2008. Quit my university job after the whole university system got ruined and looted by government-sponsored vandalism and budget defunding. We've been trying to leave for some 3 years now, but things got complicated (redtape and high cost of documents, family issues, etc.), now with covid-19 it just got even worse.

Hopefully you will find a way out eventually.

Our biggest success was to complete a adoption process. That is a long and difficult process over 1,5-2 years. 2011 we went to Taiwan and adopt a child.

Failure - I really do not know. mistaces yes but failure.... I think it is like you say - The biggest failure is not to try. And if you try - you can not call it a failure.

Well done on the adoption. I have heard that the process for adoption (depending on countries) can be quite a task.

And if you try - you can not call it a failure.

:)

yes. I see failure like a piece of software not working - life is different. Unfortunately, plenty of people identify with their failures as if they are the failure.

Yes it was a long journey but absolutely worth it.

I agree. It always depend how you see things in life.

I have known a few adopted kids over my lifetime and pretty much all of them have been great. I think it is because the parents wanted them enough to go through the process - something a lot of other parents don't necessarily do.

That is a right guess. In sweden it is most high educated people with good family situation that can adopt. Economy and social investegation by the social department can stop you.

I figure it is the same in Finland, and I know it is in Australia. These days especially, the background checks are thorough.

My biggest success is everything I have worked so hard for, marriage, business, home.

Biggest failure, always feeling like all of it could have been done better if...

"if only I had..."

but I didn't - so best get on with it :)

Biggest success: Leaving the business world and grabbing the opportunity to start something that I love. A charity.

Biggest failure: Losing so many years of my life in wrong professions.

Leaving the money is a big move for most people, and one most won't make. jobs provide a false sense of security - and we love that.

If one can learn to live without money as the mainstay, without relentlessly chasing the false satisfaction and security that money provides, then in the cases of life's emergencies, one can cope so much better.

Money is not an anchor in life, health and happiness is.
It is the chase after money that erodes both.

It is the chase after money that erodes both.

I am trying to set up my life so money flows relatively easily and, I don't need that much of it.

That is the wise way my friend!

My biggest failure in life was distancing myself and driving away family and friends who wouldn't change their way of life or thinking to conform to what I thought was best for them. The turning point was when a family member passed away doing what that person loved even though it was not what I thought they should be doing with their life. My monumental success was finally allowing others to live their lives according to how they saw fit and made them happy. Sad when I realized it took a tragedy to bring about that change in my thinking. The old saying "if that person would have just did what said, all that could have been avoided." There's more than one way to reach a specified destination. And it doesn't necessarily have to be path I chose form them. They have to live their own destiny.

Hola @tarazkp… He elegido tu post para mi iniciativa diaria de reblogear. Este es mi aporte para Hive…
Sigamos trabajando y aportando ideas para crecer en Hive!...
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Hello @tarazkp... I have chosen your post for my daily reblogging initiative. This is my contribution to Hive...
Let's keep working and giving ideas to grow in Hive!