If my mom had her heart attack and stroke in Yuma instead of Spokane, Wa she'd have never had the last 4 years. Her living will said 'no heroic measures' but was in her house here and not traveling with her.
For me, the last for years were a miracle that allowed me to tell my mom hundreds of times that I loved her. It didn't make up for the times I'd forgotten to say it, but it made the last 4 years more palatable to me.
Her mobility was REALLY limited those last years, and when her baby left she just knew at some level that she'd had all she could take. Took about 90 days.
Something many people might not realize is important, until it is too late.
I said goodbye to my mum 8 months before she died and only got t speak to her a handful of times prior, as I couldn't afford the phone calls more often. I never really got to say anything to my dad, as he withered away and a lot was left unsaid. However, I am okay with it, as I spoke to both of them a lot about things well before death was close and I think it made a difference to process it this way through distance.
At some point for many, I think it would be a relief to be able to say - I have finished living.
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