As a child I always imagined growing up, becoming an adult and as a Nigerian child, I would always imagine the freedom of being an adult and how good it would be grown and not being beaten or controlled by my parents.
As the last child of six, my siblings made growing up so desirable, they would always give me money, drink alcohol, go out without permission, and the quirks that I thought came with adulthood.
I forced my self to grow up really fast and at 13 I was already very knowledgeable and very observant, I didn't do what other children did and it really didn't impress me.
At the age of 16, I was going to tick something off my wish list which was dating and welp I jumped into the first relationship I saw in the university with someone I didn't find attractive and I got hurt in more ways than I could imagine but at least I was grown right?
My mother didn't give me the opportunity to enjoy my second phase of being grown which was freedom and I became rebellious. I was given a curfew which I always broke and always got long talks and it is so crazy how I thought that at 16 I was grown.
When I turned 18, I pretty much was considered grown and I wasn't impressed with adulthood at all, I didn't even like alcohol, I was very antisocial and loved staying at home more than anything and I was broke as hell cause I was in University and unemployed and I still didn't even get so much freedom but at least I wasn't beaten anymore.
I turned 21 last year and I was as unimpressed with adulthood as I could be, I graduated from university and had been serving my country and that meant working with an asshole as his executive assistant, I was catcalled constantly, pressured to go out, still very broke, confused about every and lonely. It felt like I wasn't in control of my life and I still am not.
I have constantly wondered how my siblings faked adulthood, lied to me without realizing it and what I am doing wrong.
I asked my niece why she wanted to grow up and she said so "I can be free, married and have money" and I internally screamed because guess who feels trapped every day, is single as hell and broke. I wish I could tell her to take it easy and just enjoy her childhood but I don't think I can explain to her that her aunt isn't in control of her life.
I still feel like growing up is a scam and I cannot do anything about it, I cannot shrink myself, so just maybe Rick and Morty could help me with a time machine and I could convince my younger self to do better and just live.
P.S. My siblings didn't have their lives in control, they just faked it well.
Thank you for reading.
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Do not miss the last post from @hivebuzz:
i know right
when we were little, we couldnt wait to grow up
now, i just cant. adulting is hard
hahaha
hang in there.....the wheels always turn (for the majority) :)
I really wish I could switch places with my niece
I'm retired, and yep, growing up and all that shit is a lie. Most people never have control of their lives or of their emotions. To feel a bit more in control of so called growing up:
Take control, try to understand why you want to work, also understand why you have to work. Step away from the crowd, don't get caught up in the everyones doing it, look at what lies your siblings are tell each other and themselves, break free from the cycle.
Oh BTW - - HAPPY BIRTHDAY even if it is a belated one. Build your own dream and future.
Well, right now I have nothing in check so I'm going to use this really well. I appreciate
I don't know why people work, I can say I worked because I wanted to buy better toys than I could get living on welfare. I wanted a nice car, (i thought of them as toys then). I wanted to buy books not use the library, That was why I started working, it didn't matter to me what the job was, it gave me money to buy toys, things to play with.
You are in for a nice ride over the next 14 years, 35 is where life suddenly starts to semi sort of make sense, at least that was when it started to make sense to me.
35 wow. I'm 22, unemployed and learning to just live life. That's a lot of time to finally figure it out.
I remember feeling that way at 17 when I knew everything there was to know and also knew without a doubt that everything my parents and other adults said was completely irrelevant because they had grown up in a different world and knew nothing whatsoever about the one I was growing up in XD
yes I was that stupid and arrogant as a child x_x
I'm pretty upfront with my kids about just how much adulthood sucks and that they should enjoy their diminished responsibilities while they have them (these have been slowly increasing to adult level as they get older). Plus they're homeschooled so they see everything we do. The oldest seems to understand, the youngest seems to think he does and the middle child seems to think the same way as I used to as she and a friend are pretty desperate to move out together and seem to think they have all the answers to all the problems my friend (my daughter's friend's parent) and I have warned them to watch for or think that somehow magically the problems just won't happen to them XD
I guess some of us just have to learn the hard way :)
You don't need a time machine, it's never too late to learn and do better and just live right now :)
I wish I was spoken to about how hard it would become. I have literally gone from an optimist to a pessimistic person
Would you have listened though? :D I think my dad did try to explain it to me but I was SO sure I knew what it was really all about I didn't listen to him, and even if I had listened to him I probably wouldn't have understood anyway :)
The next time you're feeling down/mad about something, think of all the ways it could be so much worse. When it doesn't feel so bad, think of some incremental way you can make it better :)
I probably wouldn't have and thank you for that advice, I use to keep a grateful journal but I stopped.