Many deep truths about human life and human nature are often unfair. They are difficult to confront, and opposite to what you wish to be true.
We all know that where a person is born, how people around that person is and what kind of opportunities are available to that person matters a lot. It will define whether that person will amount to something or not.
But we ignore these subtle truths and behaves like every person in this world has an equal opportunity at being successful. We behave like these unequalities doesn't exist.
You always have two choices in life. Either to live with the lies everyone around you is living, or face the harsh realities, become uncomfortable with the life you were living and grow.
An average person lives a life full of conflicts. It isn't bad enough to change. But it isn't good enough to continue. It's just tolerable.
It is a life of slow torture.
But when an unexpected event happens, that shakes people to their core, they accept the harsh realities and start working to change everything about them. Like when I lost a big amount of my money, I realized that it doesn't matter how much money you have in your bank account. What matters— is the skills you have.
You can always make back all the money you have lost, if you have enough skills. Whereas, if you don't have any skills at all, you can never make a single penny.
Unless a moment comes in your life when you are forced to question everything. A moment that affects you to your core, you won't change much.
You would be surrounded with people who have a nice house, a nice car, and a well paying job. On the surface, it looks like these people have a perfect life. But underneath, they are living a life of "desperation". They want something to happen. They want to shout, scream. Because they are tired of living a below average life. A mediocre life.
The world wants to assign you a role. The minute you accept that role? You are doomed. — Robert Greene
The people around me, who are a part of society, often force me to accept and live a pre-destined life. The life where I have no choices. The life where I get a job, get married, take a house loan. Spend the rest of my life adjusting the money I earn, between the debt I have and my monthly expenses.
A normal life is the one where every individual lives a unique life. Create his own way. And accepts what he is, not what others want him to be.
The people who care about your dreams will be fairly low. And the amount of people who will let you do your own thing will be almost none. Most people will come up with ideas to fuck up with your plans, with your business ideas, with whatever you are doing. They want to drive their own ideas into yours. They feel like you can't function on yourself, you need someone else help to make a living, to make better choices in your life.
So, they come every now and then, to tell you how fucked up you are, what you should do. And what is good for you.
I don't pretend that I don't care about what people think of me. Of course I do. I am a human. But I know a simple fact. The opinions of other people ruins more dreams than anything else.
But the thing about these people is that they are not as self-assured as they come across. So, I use this information to be more comfortable with who I am, and how I am.
Too bad that not everyone can realize how insecure we all are, so that we can stop playing these status games. You will always be who you are regardless of what anyone thinks of you.
So, if you want to change your life, you need to work on your beliefs. Working on your beliefs is quite hard. Because your beliefs are the reason the world makes sense to you.
Having to change your belief means you have to let go of who you are. It doesn't feel good to admit you were wrong, not just about some facts but about the whole worldview.
But once you have been through self-improvement cycle, you can repeat it again and again.
- The cycle starts with struggle, failure, disappointment, months of effort and no result.
- Then you undertand how things work, how the world works, and how you function. Everything in life is like a chessboard, or a puzzle.
- The last piece is explosive growth, and the discipline to follow through with it.
It took me more than 3 years to go through this cycle once. Now I will continue to commit my life to 3-5 years cycle of repetitive self growth.
But the 3 years cycle doesn't matter that much. What matters more is breaking the intial limits of 90 days, 6 months, and a year and then two.
For example, once you have been going to the gym for over two years consistently, it doesn't matter anymore, you stop counting the days. But the first few days are crucial.
Similarly, with writing, coding or anything else, starting is difficult. Continuing it for the first 90 days is important. It says whether you are serious about learning the skill or not.
The first 6 months are of learning. Then comes the never ending curve of improving and mastering the skill.
Starting at zero sucks, I know. It seems like a long journey with zero guarantee of any results. And from the starting point, it always seems impossible to achieve. That's why you need to break it into 90 days, 6 months and 1 year goals.
Always be on a journey to grow. There is no end goal here, there is only journey. Death is the only end, if anything at all. So, till the moment you are alive, seek discomfort and keep growing.