“It was one of those perfect fall days when the air is cool enough to wake you up but the sun is also kissing your face.”
― Anita Diamant, The Boston Girl
In 365 days... all I have been waiting has always been the fall.
Like the leaves falling from its tree,life is giving some of us another chance and opportunity.
Personally, I have never been feeling so alive and productive in any season except fall to winter. From as long as I can remember, I spend my fall and winter days becoming more productive. I tend to work a lot and don't mind spending my days inside the room, drinking warm coffee and wear fuzzy socks. Mood wise, I feel much lighter, happier, and grounded.
Meanwhile, during the spring to summer, I just feel the need to have a little adventure, here and there. Most of my travels happen around February to July. Even this year, I traveled around before covid-19 impacted the way we live our live and traveling.
I feel as though spring and summer are the season to spend it outside rather than inside. The clouds are amazing, the sky are clear and it's nice to get some sweat. But work wise, it is also a bit distracting, the fact that spring and summer tend to be hotter. I find it hard to concentrate and do actual work.
But where I live right now, it is not a four season country. There is no such thing as fall, spring, winter, summer.There is only either hot or rainy season. But in some places, the distinction of these weather is noticeable. I lived in places with beautiful fall colors, especially in high altitudes. Whenever I travel around August-September, I enjoy seeing the golden brown leaves and some flowers changed its colors. In some areas I visited, the pine tree smell is stronger too.
For the very first time again, I went out to do a little jogging. It has been something I skipped doing for about a year now. 2019 to 2020 was one of the most depressive years I have ever been. I was lost, I have no direction in life, no permanent goals, nothing to look forward to. I don't intend to go back into those darker days. I am done and done. In retrospect, I feel as though I was in hell from 19-22 years old. It feels eternity when you surround yourself with bad people and negative influences. When you are already down in the gutter, it is not wise to surround yourself with people who feed your insecurities and fears. And that is a lesson I manage to learn this year,cutting of and limiting interaction with toxic people.
You can only endure so much. When someone comes to you complaining all day, take a step back. It's okay to do it once in a while but if it's a constant behavior, you might want to reconsider the friendship and the frequency of talking to them. When it happens, what I like to do is distancing myself or change the topic into something more lighter to change the mood.
I generally feel much happier these days as I also learn to stop seeing my past in a rose-colored glasses. Sure, I did some amazing things but I can do much more in the future and even my present.
It was because of this quote and some other conversations that I realized, I need to focus on the present. I have been comparing myself with a lot of strangers on the internet and even my friends. They have this and that, I don't have this and that. It used to bother me and contributed to my depression.
My own life becomes much more interesting when I stop comparing myself. Sure, I don't know this and that. Sure, I don't have a house yet or whatever is out there. But all can be learned, can be achieved, can be practiced, can be improved. Dwelling in others possession is only thieving the chance to have it.
Source :Pinterest
As we can see above, "Plan to outdo your past, not other people". I think that is the most powerful self-realization there is in the age of self-comparison. If last year you only have 10$ why not try making it 100$ this year? if last year you weight 190 pounds, why not make it 150 pounds this year? if last year you write only 1000 words why not make it 2000 words?
Truth is, this is all hard to realize until you have been doing some searching, seeing some shit and actually experienced the negative side of self-comparison. It was easier said than done, as I have told about the damage on self-comparison over and over. But when you finally come into circle, it falls into its place. Once more, you will have extra vigor and that's how I feel.
~ Mac
This hits me pretty hard 😄. As much as I don't like comparing with others, it's really difficult to not be overwhelmed when people around you are doing great in their lives and I'm pretty much at bare bottom.
Hope one day you'll realize that it only robs you from your own goals and happiness. It was difficult but I am breaking free from and it feels so liberating !